Do you ever have mornings when things don't seem to go your way?
Everything happens wrong and so you’re on the back-foot already, frazzled, wound up and you haven’t even left the house?
This morning was just like that for me.
It all started when Bubs somehow grabbed the bowl of fruit and oats and yogurt that I had been soaking since last night and dumped it on the floor, smashing the bowl, sending berries and shards of broken bowl across the kitchen.
A very impressive spread of debris, I must say. A Rorschach pattern for analysis.
Urghhhhh … she was hungry and yelling at me (how is that MY fault? ha!), I was hungry and the last of the fruit and the yogurt is on the floor, AND I wanted to be out of the house pretty sharply.
I used to fight and kick and scream and get so stressed that nothing was going my way. No, scratch that, the stress is worse because it actually seems life is actively out to get you, isn’t it?
I’m getting better at shrugging my shoulders and just going “oh well” and giving up my plan for the day. Dealing with what is in front of me, and doing my best to keep moving forward.
Actually a ton better, thank the goodness of the little lambs.
One of the things I found that really helps helps is getting super present (especially when you can feel that frustration and rage building. Don't let it swamp you) and then taking a moment to see how good I have it, even when my plan is in tatters.
You see, I used to work with kids with MS, wheelchair bound.
I would help them go for a swim, where they could float and be free of their chairs for an hour or so.
We’d do gentle stretches in the water, try and get some kind of movement back in their cube shaped backsides and so-tight bodies.
Those guys – they had it rough. They probably wouldn’t make it past their mid-20s. But they were having the most fun in the world.
I loved helping them, it gave me such pleasure to be of service.
It gave me such a lift in my day, no matter how I was feeling going in, no matter how little things had seemed to go my way up till then, I came out of the pool with a light heart, grateful for my body, and a feeling of accomplishment.
So when times are tough, they’re made tougher when you get self-absorbed and feeling sorry for yourself.
When you make it all about you, problems and stress multiplies and joy dies.
Whatever is bugging you – large or small – will change. It will. You want to stay slightly aloof, maintain the half-step back so you're not thrown into turmoil by the unplanned and the unwelcome.
Live life with your feet firmly planted in what is most important to you. You've got it good – truly. See what you do have. Live with the glass half full.
But also get up and get out and find someone to help. Stop circling all those problems in your head and give to someone else.
NOW – I know this is easy to say and harder to do, especially when you’re down in the dumps, but that’s why a practice and a schedule helps.
A practice means the pattern you want to reinforce under stress clicks in quicker and smoother. Rather than a self-absorbed downward spiral, you have a touch more clarity than before and can start to choose to do something different before the spiral really kicks in.
Alright?
Practice meditation, mindfulness, prayer, practice changing your attitude. Have an attitude of giving. Schedule in times of service.
You wouldn’t run a marathon without training for it, and yet somehow people try and run in the human race without preparing for the tough times.
Perhaps we’re all wishful thinkers, believing that our plan will come through all the time?
Good luck with that one!
Practicing the ability to take the half-step back, to drop resistance, give up the plan and get fluid, to stay calm and centred when everything seems to be against you is so necessary. An essential human skill.
Unless, that is, you like being stressed and frazzled and grumpy – at the very least.
Go well!
Arjuna
PS.
Get the inner game sorted, and the outer follows sweetly.
Not many people know that.
It is the basis for my free guide, which you can read and download here:
https://www.arjunaishaya.com/108-ways-full-content