When you try hard to get it right, the only outcome is wrong.
There I was: kayaking. Sun shining, having fun. Playing, trying some tricks, feeling the water, responding, getting into a flow, playing.
A photographer stepped up to the bank and I got excited. A photo of me being awesome would be so awesome to admire, so I went to it with gusto.
It wasn’t until later that I saw it.
In the video footage of the “get a photo” mode there was something lacking. Something indefinable, but definite. There was stiffness, trying and pushing. No fluidity or ease, there was a lack of immersion in the moment that was all so noticeable.
A great lesson.
When you do anything for an outcome it loses the essence that makes it true, that makes it great.
Athletes learn this from bitter experience. When the next serve determines winning or losing the match, the tennis player falls apart. The skills that she does blindfolded in practice vanish and she loses. What is she to do? Try harder to win? Or learn to let go of the outcome, just play for the moment and let the rewards come if they may?
So many musicians get so stressed from ambition. Trying to get that position, then to be first chair, the soloist … they forget the magic and the joy of music that meant they loved to play, practiced and became skilled in the first place.
It’s the same in every part of life: When you try and control the outcome, when you’re focussed on the rewards or other people, it doesn’t happen. When you try hard to get it right, the only outcome is wrong.
When you just play and explore … well, there’s the magic and the beauty and the flow. And the rewards come from that.
Control less, get more.