“There are times when the clown we call ‘I’ behaves in such a distracting fashion that the inner voice cannot make its presence felt.”
— Carl Jung
Pushing and controlling always results in less than the best you could have delivered. It’s weird, but every part of our lives are better when we don’t try and do them.
Writers often talk about writer’s block. (Bear with me. Even if you’re not a creative, this will apply to you.)
Writer’s block is a crushing void of creativity. Where nothing seems to come. Where the well is dry and dusty.
I had the very same thing this morning as I sat to write something to you. Nothing, not even crickets. Just complete silence, free of inspiration.
What a disaster, huh?
And yet, above all things that my practice of Ascension meditation and my practice of writing has shown me is that I write best when I don’t.
I do all things better when I don’t do them; when I get out of the way and let the moment fulfil its own need.
So I sat, and patiently waited, and waited. And then finally it came, when it was ready.
I know, through experience, that I can’t write from my ego. I can’t push. I can’t force it to happen. Because my ego will saturate and soak in, poisoning all of it. It’s rubbish and not fun and I have to redo.
I’m being dramatic here, but it’s true, in a very real sense. When my controlling ego is driving, the result is always less than. In every part of my life, this is true. In my writing, in my relationships, in Ascension, in kayaking … everywhere.
Have you ever seen this?
When I control, when I have expectations, when I push and try and force things, everything tastes of control, expectation and pushiness. I know it, everyone around me feels it on some level.
Yuck!
I think I’ve said this to you a few times before: that’s why it’s not so much about what you do, but HOW you do it. That’s what speaks loudest.
And it’s the weirdest thing – I used to control and expect and push the most when I wanted to deliver my very best. Ironically, in grasping for my very best, I got my very worst.
There’s a deeper power within us than our small egos, and when we align with it, life is effortless. Beauty, quality and rightness can come forth. Synchronicities, those meaningful coincidences, happen more and more often. There’s more joy, there’s a feeling of being in the perfect time and the perfect moment. Life becomes easy and joyful, free of strain.
Actually no, it might be torture …
Because you’re trusting, you’re having faith that by not pushing, things happen better and in the perfect time – and your poor little ego squeaks, especially in the beginning.
“You’re going to ruin everything you fool, let ME drive!!” it’ll whine.
Don’t listen. Keep getting out of your own way. Let the inner Voice make its presence felt. Don’t let the clown distract you while it empties your bank account.
And to me this is the whole point of a consistent inner practice. To be able to put the clown to one side, to learn to consistently align with what is true and right within you, and let that speak and do and act …
Here you lose yourself yet gain your Self. And the result is marvelous to behold.
So spend more time doing that. You can't lose. The result is more, on all levels. As they say, go within to go beyond.
Go well!
Arjuna