“Live as though the day were here.”
— Nietzsche
______________
I found myself at the dinner table last night, dodging sausages dipped in tomato sauce, but mostly planning; thinking through what was going to happen next.
If you have kids – even if you don’t – there’s the evening routine, right?
Get through dinner without too many stains on my person. Clean up, wipe the walls, do the dishes. A quick read of a book, run the bath, make the milk for the young one, grab both wrigglers and dunk them in warm water. Attempt a wipe to clean the important bits. See if you can get some of the water off before they make a break for their mum. Nappy, pyjamas, in bed, sing song, read book, lights out, and then …
And then …
I was so far ahead of myself I wasn’t even tasting the food or hearing what any one had to say – and good food and good connections are two things that I value very highly.
I was so far ahead of life itself in anticipation of “my moment” when I could collapse on the couch and finally catch up with Sumati.
Anticipating, planning, waiting … for life to begin as I thought I wanted it.
Do you see?
Such a valuable lesson. Life doesn’t begin when … it’s here, now, and I was throwing it all away for a future maybe.
Don’t wait.
Be patient, for sure … but patience is filling your moments with reality and not dreams.
Life is indeed setting ideals and goals and aspirations. But most importantly, it’s making what you have now as ideal as possible.
And that is a choice.
So –
Live as though the day were here. Live as though you chose this moment in its entirety.
Nietzsche also wrote about Amor Fati – and I’ve seen so many tattoos with those words on various body parts, maybe explaining it to you is like telling my gran how to suck eggs.
But I will anyway.
Amor Fati literally means the love of one’s fate.
Not fate as doing nothing, of lying down and giving away your ability to fully participate in your life, but making the most of what you have.
It’s not merely bearing what is necessary, it’s not enduring “until…”, but learning to love life as it is.
I wrote a chapter about this, Byron Katie wrote a whole book.
You don’t need to read them.
If you want a fully alive life, with as few wasted “waiting for life to get better” moments as possible, just recognise when you’re doing just that. And stop waiting.
Become one with the moment and what it contains.
So, for whatever it’s worth, maybe that will help you navigate all the moments that add up to create your life with more style and grace.
Because none of us have a lot of time to waste.
Go well,
Arjuna
PS.
If you do happen to want to read more, have a look at my book, “Chasing More and Finding Enough – How Being is the Greatest Foundation for Everything You Do”.
I’m really proud of it. It’s short and easy to read, and it may just flip your whole world around. In a good way.
Available in all online book stores.