“If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid.”
— Epictetus
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I learnt something last week, I think.
It started when I fainted during a live call with the 200% Life Meditation Training Dojo on Facebook.
Thought I just had a stomach bug, wasn’t feeling the greatest, but – you know – “the show must go on”.
One minute I was sitting, the next I hit the floor. Luckily I had a soft landing. Just like a child. Or maybe those 12 pints before hand made everything rubbery.
There’s always this tension for me about just showing up, no matter what.
I used to fear showing up, declaring and exposing myself in public, because – you know – “What will people think?”. How much of our lives have been shaped by that thought?
I honestly think that I’ve regretted more things, and more deeply, that I haven’t done or said because I talked myself out of them.
It’s become a cliché, but “no regrets” is still a great sign of a mighty-ly well lived life – and giving something a shot is often a good way of having just that.
At least you know, right? Sitting on the fence may be safe but it rarely gives you knowledge and experience.
As I get older I can more and more gracefully put it all down to learning. The younger me was so much more about reputation and image, chastising myself for making the fool in public.
I’ve learnt through showing up that you just get better by repeatedly showing up. It’s all practice isn’t it? Sometimes it’s all there, sometimes nothing is. Sometimes you’re excellent, sometimes you’re a buffoon.
At least I know! Never showing up means I’ll never know. I care less about saving face these days and more about living from that zone that includes having nothing to prove and nothing to hide. I care less about what other people think than really doing those things that feel right to me.
So showing up has become a big mantra in my life.
But there’s a lot of big talk about showing up in certain internet circles. Much big talk about determination, drive, discipline, grit and grind.
Now, I’m a huge fan of balance.
Showing up is grand, and crucial, but knowing when to hide away and recover is equally important too.
The live call was a good reminder of this. I knew I wasn’t feeling great, but rescheduling the call would be a nuisance, and besides, “What will people think?”.
Ha! In hindsight, resting would have been a far better option. I half-arsed the live call giving the people a less-than version of myself, then fell off the chair.
Well, as I said, now I know.
It’s easy to talk about grind and work and showing up.
It’s also easy to talk about appreciating the importance of rest and recovery.
Yet it’s genuinely hard to tell how much fuel we actually have in the tank. We’re just so used to carrying on because that’s what we do.
I’m not really sure of what I’m trying to say here, except balance takes learning too. I do think we know already. It’s hard because we’re not used to listening – and trusting. We’re so used to pushing over surrendering.
I certainly knew. That little voice was saying “cancel” but I didn’t listen. I chose to push on. But now I know.
I’ll do better next time, right? That’s all I can do… keep making a next time.
I think that’s key in whatever we do that is important to us – in our families and at work, in our health and fitness and our adventures, in attempting to be mindful and alive to now…
Just keep making a next time.
Never the easiest, getting back up on that horse is it?
But because both consistently showing up and yet doing it wisely, with Quality and trust in my intuition, are important to me, I’ve learnt I’ll be shown plenty of ways to learn and master.
That seems to be the way of it. What you focus on, grows.
So there you go, for what it’s worth. I truly hope this finds you well.
Keep on showing up and keep on trusting. You’ll find your way fast that way.
Til next time – go well,
Arjuna