How to make it Christmas every single day of your life

So Christmas, the time for giving and for eating and raising a toast to life, to your family and friends. To make of it what you will, to celebrate for whatever reason you see fit. Huzzah!

You might have presents to give?

I know I do, fiancee is getting a cracker of a gift sometime today. Can’t tell you what because you never know what she will read and when. She might be reading right now so shush…

I am so excited to give the parcel, I really can’t wait. I asked her if she wanted her present yesterday but she said no. Looks like I’ll just have to wait.

But beyond that...

Beyond if you celebrate Christmas or no, if you give gifts or no, I have a question or two for you to consider, to ponder perhaps over a mince pie and a cuppa or other tipple of your choosing, and then put into action.

Question One:

What is the single greatest gift you would wish for yourself?

What do you want more than anything else in this whole world? What is the most important thing to you?

• Work that out and then make sure you give it to yourself. Don’t settle for less than having that one most important thing, ok? Don’t stop until you have it in your sticky little hands.

Question Two:

What is the greatest thing you could give to your loved ones?

• Now, make sure you give that thing constantly, completely and absolutely.

Strive to be and give this most important thing always. Make it the foundation of every act, of every thing.

And then all of life will be amazing, truly amazing.

And you will exclaim in every moment of your life, "why it seems like Christmas every day".

How are you going to do Christmas?

My mother would often talk about “doing Christmas differently this year”.

Then Christmas would come along and it would seem like it was very similar to last Christmas, and the Christmas before that, which was identical to the Christmas before that.

One might say everything was the same, exactly the same.

I now understand her intention to do things differently, maybe it was in regard to the volume of eating and drinking, or the doing everything despite offers of help (the answer of “no, its fine”), or (related) inviting those people around who never even did a dish or even offered to contribute in any sense.

It was the intention to celebrate it on her terms, but then what I think happened was she fell under pressure to what “should” happen.

And so the “should” won over what made her fully enjoy the day.

Are you under any pressure to do it a particular way?

And where does the pressure come from? Within or without? That is an important realisation.

Most of the pressure for my mum came from within. Because it was “tradition” and it was supposed to be this way. Everyone else didn’t care, we wanted her to have a good time more than anything else.

For me this Christmas I know there is pressure from without to have turkey this year, again. Because it’s “tradition”. Now this is a small compromise that I can deal with. And we’re getting in a goose as well. Haha!

But I have friends who are vanishing to a tropical island because of too many years of entertaining family who never ever give anything back, and are probably just generally bad company as well.

And I applaud them.

Why not do life on your terms? In consultation with your partner, of course. Very important point.

All of this is important, because it’s part of living the best life you can.

Being whole assed is crucial.

Sure, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do for the sake of diplomacy and good relations, but see clearly where you are making yourself do something you really don’t want to.

Be clear.

Make a plan of what you want to happen, even if it’s just down to how much you want to eat and drink or who will actually do what on the day. Factor in what kind of variance you will accept, and then go, put it in action.

Good job!

A scheme is necessary, simply because otherwise what is comfortable and convenient takes over. You do what you have always done.

Any change, any living of “whole-assedness”, needs to develop momentum to overcome whatever half-assery is happening at the moment.

And why not?

Why not have a fantastic time? Why not enjoy every moment?

Try this one thing today!

There is one critical thing in your practice of meditation; your practice of mindfulness; in developing the mindset you want; in living free of your own mental limitations.

In the Bright Path Ishayas’ Ascension it’s called “innocence”.

I’m sure I’ve written about it before, but it’s such a simple skill, a simple attitude, a simple way of being that not many “get” it.

When you are present, fully present in the real sense of the term: alive, immersed, absorbed by what is in front of you; well… then you can’t be anything else but innocent.

But it works the other way around too - you can cultivate a sense of being innocent and then as a side effect you become fully present, as in alive and totally captivated by the moment.

Innocence. I wish I could bottle it.

Innocence is having no expectations, no prejudice. It is being fascinated with what is in front of you, it is being fascinated by whatever you choose.

Innocence is being perfectly content, because in having no expectations there isn’t a sense that you should be experiencing something else, something different. It is simply showing up for life, as it is.

Innocence isn’t holding someone to their past behaviour. It is being open to what they may be like now. It insists nothing, pushes no agenda, just says and does it like it is.

Innocence isn’t naivety. It is being fresh. It is letting go of the past and seeing what now has to offer.

Innocence is as far away from “why?” as you can get. It is totally a sense of “wow!”, and is all self-cultivated, self-chosen.

Think you could be innocent as possible for a day?

Sure you can. Give it a shot and see what happens. You might like to be innocent for another.

The one counter-intuitive thing that actually helps when you’re deep in the downs

I appreciate that sometimes life isn’t that rosy. I know that something, no matter what you do, you just get stuck in a funk - a bad mood, a depression, a whatever.

I know that.

Got hit by something yesterday, a big case of the grumps.

For a while I tried to get rid of it, but it just wasn’t going. Right after I wrote about being full of joy. Ha! - The universe does have a sense of humour: “try this one on for size, smart arse!”

I used to get this all the time, like a heaviness, a depression, a pointlessness. The mood would stick around for days and days, my mind just full of negativity and “can’t be bothered - what is the point?”

Back then it was hard to see anything else. It was not nice, to tell you the truth.

Now it’s different, I have more tools, more perspective, more support.

Yesterday was funny (well, it’s funny now) - I threw everything in my toolbox at it, and no go.

It wouldn’t move.

As much as I talk about choice, as much as I know about choice, sometimes the only choice you have is to do nothing.

To completely do nothing at all. Not to change a thing.

If you’ve tried shifting a bad mood through choice, by appreciating and being grateful, by giving, by being present and breathing deep, by talking it through with someone you trust, by doing some exercise, by all the little tricks that work to take your attention away from those thoughts…

If you’ve done all of that and it’s still there, then the way out is just simply to accept it.

Stop trying to change it. Stop trying for something else. Just be totally ok being grumpy or down in the dumps, or whatever it is you’re feeling.

The worst thing is the feeling that “I shouldn’t be feeling like this”. Well, you are. Pressuring yourself to feel differently doesn’t help when you’re deep in.

Here’s the critical thing - don’t push it away but also don’t get all wrapped up in it either. Recognise that it’s going on and just let it run. Let those thoughts be there; just don’t believe them, don’t take them seriously.

It won’t last forever. It’ll change.

I chatted it through with my fiancee - talking always helps no matter what - and she’s very good at laughing at me (what’s that about?), and so she laughed, told me to stop trying to be Mr Perfect, and laughed some more. So I told her to take her laugh and stick it somewhere else, and just got on with being grumpy.

As soon as I fully accepted it, it lasted all of an hour. And by then I couldn’t care less whether it had gone or not. Came back in the night but I couldn’t be bothered caring, once again. Couldn’t care, no stickiness. Very interesting, I think.

It’ll change super quick if you don’t try and change it. Funny huh? The more you try to get rid of it, the stickier it becomes. The more you think it shouldn’t be here, the stickier it is.

Accept it all, open your arms and allow.

Do what you need to - maybe a long walk by yourself, a bath, a bit of time on the couch if you can get it.

Just be patient, loving to yourself, and let it unfold.

It is only a problem if you make it a problem.

Good luck, especially if you’re feeling not so good. It can be there, but it doesn’t need to dominate.

Let me know how you get on.

Take it easy, okay? Everything changes.

The season to be "whole assed"?

My meditation teacher loves t-shirts. One of his current favourites simply says “Be Whole Assed”.

Do you get it?

In other words, his t-shirt is saying “don’t be half-assed”.

Cool huh?

Well, I like it.

How are you doing at being “whole assed”?

Part of that is making sure you do what you said you would, for sure. Making plans and goals, doing and going and all of that.

But for me a big chunk of being whole assed is enjoying each and every moment.

In this season of goodwill, joy, and celebration are you fully enjoying yourself?

I’m not much of a Christmas decoration, tinsel, flashing lights, Christmas songs kind of guy, but my fiancee and her family definitely are. So I leave it to them.

But it gives me a lot of joy to watch them get all excited about the Christmas tree - 7 foot tall this year, came in through the window. But only just.

What I love about Christmas the most is the coming together. The hunkering down next to the fire. The eating and the toasting of good health.

I love the celebration of life itself. In these dark mid-winter days (up north of the globe anyways), I love the stopping and making a feast to contentment and joy and living.

For I believe you have to choose to celebrate, pretty regularly actually, because no one else is going to do it for you.

For you need to remember to thrive, not merely survive.

And celebration is part of that.

If you wait to enjoy, you’ll be a waiting for some time.

It can be so easy to forget that, even when the season is about joy, you know?

So even in the lead up to the big moment - make it about joy. Don’t be pressured, or anxious, or any of those things that people tell me they get around this time.

Instead, be whole assed - enjoy each and every moment.

That’s what I’ll be doing at least.

Enjoy. For it is the purpose of life itself.

Why struggle through life?

What do you want from life?

Do you want to struggle, to strain, to push and to stress?

Or do you want to be calm, clear, and content, simply enjoying each and every moment?

So many people live a struggle. Why?

The first thing to realise is that you do it to yourself.

Why do you do it to yourself?

Not having the right understanding is one reason.

“I need to get rid of my “to do” list, and then I can relax. Then I can find happiness, or peace, or satisfaction.”

“I need to get something, when I have that thing - the new job, the car, the relationship - then I will be happy.”

You believe happiness is a result. And so you struggle to get what you think will lead to happiness.

Happiness is not a result.

Perhaps you might say happiness is a reaction. More true is that happiness, peace, satisfaction is a state of mind.

It is an internal way of responding to all of life. Everything.

Now - It can be uncaused. It doesn’t require anything.

Be happy, be at peace, be satisfied; then go and live and do.

You can learn this, you can choose for this. It is so simple, so easy to live a life filled with joy and satisfaction.

It’s just that your habits, your self-talk, your story are all a handbrake; a handbrake to your own happiness.

The fact is you don’t need to struggle to get what you want, to be happy.

Learn to be happy for no reason at all, then the whole world will make you overjoyed.

Tis the season to be jolly after all.

Here's the key to being surrounded by cool people

What I love is belonging - I’m not sure if that’s the right word - but knowing, being a part of a group of people that have a common purpose and a common outlook on life.

Now, I get to be with a lot of happy, stress free people. People who really want to squeeze everything they can from life. I have some very inspiring friends. Very, very funny too.

It wasn’t always like this. Especially when I was young I used to feel super alone.

It took a while to find “my people”. But only because it took me some time to work out what was important to me. It took a while to work out how I wanted to live my life.

When I worked that out it was easier to track down the people I wanted to spend more time with.

Finding these people didn’t happen by accident; I also realised if you want to find your “tribe”, sometimes you just got to create it.

Giving what you want is a great start.

You want support and humour and understanding and inspiration?

Be that. Give that to others.

They’ll give you back in kind.

You help create the people around you. Your attitude, your actions, your concern, your inspiration. All of that means you get to enjoy belonging, to being a part of something.

If you don’t believe me, try it out with your closest. Give what you want. Not to expect any change, but just because.

In this, knowing your mind and your bad habits is super valuable. Become aware of what your mind is telling you. The simplest way I know of becoming more conscious and aware is learning and practicing the Bright Path Ishayas' Ascension.

Think of it as your total tonic for calm, clarity, contentment and inspiration. Being aware of your choices so you can make them freely.

Life is too short to live it half arsed.

When to give up

I just returned home from a marathon trip away teaching. It’s been amazing, meeting up with so many wonderful people. But it is lovely to be home. So nice to be with the fiancee, even though she has an awful cold and I have to be on the couch to get any sleep. But I'd rather that than any hotel room.

So good too to do nothing for a whole day. Just whatever we want.

In my travels I talked to a wonderful lady whose husband had died of cancer some years ago. She was saying how hard it was for her to just get up and get out of the house to do something, anything instead of wallow.

It took her real energy and courage to get dressed and walk out the door and join other people. Yet it was something she committed to doing, consistently.

The thing that struck me too was how, occasionally, she gave herself permission to give up. To not join in. To get to the front door, dressed up and car keys in hand, and then to turn around and just stay at home.

There’s a great balance to be had in absolutely committing to an action and following through and yet also on those days when you just really don’t want to, just not doing.

I’d been committed to writing to you guys almost everyday, and then over the last few days I just really needed a break from doing anything.

So I took it.

Recharged I now feel. 

Sometimes you just got to take a break, from your own expectations, and from the world’s.

For a couple of days, or a day. For half a day. Even just for ten minutes. Whatever you can get.

Do you take enough time for yourself?

If you know how to Ascend you can squeeze a lot of recharge into ten minutes. Done every day it’s a life saver.

Next retreat course here in Richmond - close to the train line - is 5-7 February, perfect for a recharge after Christmas. But I also got a plan for something really great in the New Year too. I’ll let you know when I work out the details.

Until then, enjoy!

Have a great weekend.

Relationship advice from a willing amateur

What I know about relationships is little. In relationships matters I am a complete amateur. A willing amateur though - I realised some years ago that people didn't have good relationships by mistake, or even destiny.

They, like all things, require work.

Good news though. Amateur though I remain, I’ve been looking at this one for a while,

studying, observing and taking notes,

and this is what I reckon contributes to a good relationship with your partner, with anyone. Even the shopkeeper down the road.

These are the things that I need to do to make sure I have a great relationship.

I'm sure there are more, but here's what I got this morning:

- taking time out every day to close my eyes and Ascend - or meditate. If you don’t know how, it can be as simple as sitting comfortably for 10 minutes and noticing your breath.

- making sure I get enough sleep at night

- exercising regularly

- doing my deep breathing practice

- being consistently, actively and outwardly grateful for all the people and things in my life

- doing the things that make me happy and excited about life

- choosing to be content; making this the basis for all things

- knowing that only I can make myself happy.

You see, when I’m functioning well, the relationship functions well. Hmmm… Interesting, huh?

Then comes nurturing the relationship:

- being active in making sure it’s going well, that it’s growing

- making sure my fiancee knows how much I love her. Going out of my way to appreciate who she is and what she does. Doing that as much as possible.

- supporting her to do the things that make her happy and excited about life

- when it comes to things that annoy me, before I open my mouth making sure it’s “big” enough to worth mentioning. Why criticise when it is just something I can get over?

- but communicating as soon and as clearly as I can when I really need to say something. and then letting it go, completely.

- communicating, and then communicating some more.

- giving her my full attention when she wants to talk

- allowing her to be herself, completely and absolutely.

- spending time together, every day, just chatting.

- setting aside date nights, scheduling them if need be

- giving and giving and then giving some more

I'm sure there's more you can come up with, but basically any relationship has the common denominator as you.

You can do so much to nurture any relationship. It just requires the willingness to give completely, and talk, and have fun.

As my brother sagely once commented; "Happy wifey, happy lifey".

Simple then!

Good luck.

Everyone's biggest problem

Everyone’s biggest problem? Trying to become something else.

Hustling. Trying. Straining. Not sitting comfortably at all.

Yes, do and set goals, chase dreams, I’m not talking about that.

I’m talking about two things.

The first is being content now.

A fine skill to have, to appreciate this exact moment, exactly as it is.

To do, but not to put happiness in the future.

The second is the idea that you need to be something else - something you’re not.

To some degree so many people have the belief that they aren’t good enough.

Do you see that in yourself?

That right now, exactly as you are, you’re not enough in some way - there’s something wrong.

It manifests in not doing the things that you want, in not saying the things that you need, in trying to present some kind of image that you think others will find “acceptable”.

That to gain success and/or approval you must rein in your personality and be “professional” or whatever the term is for being safe and a bit boring.

Sure, there is room to be pleasant and to be positive. But change your personality in case someone takes it the wrong way?

Yikes.

Be you!

Don’t present an image. Trying to be something you're not is a path to misery.

Find a way to be totally content and totally ok with you.

Because you are. Totally. And it makes being content so much simpler.

You realise you need nothing else to be happy.

And then everything makes you happy.

Ahh. Happiness all around.

How three feet of madness can throw my mojo

Got to say that I started off struggling this morning. Not that feeling of fighting for breath that I used to get back in the day, more of an attempting to cling to what I used to know.

You see the fiancee and I are staying with her cousin and her three little kids.

Peace and quiet that I used to have?

Haha! Woken at dawn by little monsters turned all the way up to eleven.

New people in the house!! Use them as a trampoline!

Now I have arisen, and the sun is coming up, all I can do is sip my coffee and wait for the internal engine to get going so I can catch up.

Until then, acceptance seems to be the way forward. Resistance is futile. Join the madness as soon as I can.

Something to be said for just giving in to what is.

Makes it easier.

Those thoughts of “this should not be happening to me” become so irrelevant because, well, it is.

It is happening to me.

You can’t always control the situations and circumstances you are faced with, but you can control your reaction to them.

I can speak my peace: “No, not on my head”, but it’s all gotta be based on acceptance. With what is right in front of me.

Not on the plan that I had of sleeping in and getting a little bit of Ascension meditation time.

That is well gone.

Your choice - and a sense of peace - lies right there.

At that point, right there, your life is simple, or full of struggle.

If you have kids, I take my hat off to you. They may well be the greatest Teachers in the world.

Are you good at "wait and see"?

If you are anything like me, you used to just “wait and see”, all the time. I never had the courage to put my hand up and ask that question, even though I really wanted to know the answer. Was a little shy.

I would “wait and see” if someone else would ask, or the speaker would cover my question later.

I would “wait and see” if someone else would express the opinion I had, just to be on the safe side, just to make sure I was right.

I would just let it slide when someone was arrogant or rude or wrong. I tried to tell myself it didn’t matter, I was the better man, when actually it ate me up inside.

Got quite angry and frustrated from just not saying the things I needed to.

I know it takes courage to say and do these things, but for your own sanity, you have to.

Regret and missing out hurts more than a temporary hit to the shame.

I don’t think you’re ever going to be free of the need for courage.

You just get better at taking a gulp and jumping - doing what you need to do.

And why not?

Be clear on all those thoughts that are behind "wait and see" or it's good friend, "I'm not ready yet".

Readiness? Good enough sometimes has to be good enough. Otherwise nothing gets done.

Do not read this, you have better things to do

Stop thinking about it and just go and do it There have been so many times in my life when I’ve thought so much about doing something, and then never actually done it.

There were so many things. So many plans and ideas, so many adventures, so many paths to run down and I let the chance slip away.

There’s something to be said for acting on inspiration. For doing, and then course correcting as you go.

Thinking about it, planning it down to the last detail, well, it’s just a postponing and delaying tactic isn’t it?

You’re delaying because actually you don’t yet have the courage.

When I was a younger fellow I was pretty shy. There was a girl I liked and just never got enough courage to go and talk with. I would sit there all night nursing my drink but never actually going and really talking with her. Planning lines and strategies and just getting more and more nervous and never actually doing anything.

Ever had something similar? Yes, you have.

Sometimes you just have to pounce. In an entirely appropriate way, of course.

I would say there is at least one plan or an idea within all of us that we are waiting “until conditions are perfect”, until we know for sure, until actually we get enough courage.

What is that idea for you?

Why not begin it today?

And if not now, when?

Expect the fear and do it anyway.

Embark, set sail!

What did I tell you? Stop reading, and start doing that thing...

- Arjuna

___________________________ How to be mentally fit, fluid and free www.arjunaishaya.com

Where is the biggest handbrake on your own life?

Did you know that the biggest hand brake on your life lives within your own head? It’s your own thoughts and beliefs that cause you all your suffering, all your doubts, all your worries.

You want to live the best life possible?

You need to closely examine what your own head is telling you.

What if that thought wasn’t true?

What if the opposite was true?

And how are you going to know unless you try?

Your thoughts are holding you back.

Get super clear on what is in your own head and how that relates to the life you want to live.

At some stage you are going to realise that your thoughts are not real, they aren’t a good indicator of the truth.

They are the ghosts of your past - your parents, your family, your friends, your teachers, your coaches, your own paranoias and judgements, whispering in your ear.

They can be just an option. Just one idea. An interpretation.

Your thoughts are limited, by nature.

Find a way to let them go, let them be. Find the life that comes from beyond your thoughts, beyond your mind.

There lies pure inspiration and intuition.

A life lived there is a constant discovery of the limits of your own life. You are constantly expanding, growing, becoming bigger and bolder, and more humble, understanding and loving.

It’s not for the faint-hearted.

There’s an old saying about the only free cheese is the cheese in the mousetraps, and the mice there ain’t happy.

But you’re not here for free cheese. Or the traps.

Have a grand day. Take it easy. Easy does it.

The reason why I don't do blog comments

I love helping people, and I love getting appreciation as much as the next person. But sometimes people get their knickers in a twist and just blah over you. It’s all over Facebook and the internet - opinions.

And I don’t really need more opinions. I haven’t got enough time, seriously. I have a few people who are super clear who I run things past when I need to check, and that is it.

I know I’m not going to make all the people happy all the time. And in fact, I may just annoy some. Hopefully I will annoy some of you regularly. Even make you a little bit angry.

You see if I’m not, then I’m not doing my job properly.

Every time I’ve gotten angry with something someone said to me - it was all because I realised they were right and I was I compromising. Sitting too comfortably.

Their words gave me a kick up the bum right at the perfect time, and the emotional response was all part of that.

It got me where I was keeping something safe and personal and not prepared to see clearly.

The reaction was always a “screw you, it is all someone else’s fault - I don’t need to change”; always straight from the ego.

So if something I say makes you angry, makes you annoyed, gives you some kind of emotion… Excellent. See what there is for you in that. See why.

There is all the growth in the world for you, taking responsibility for your own reactions, seeing your part in any struggle.

And that’s the people I want to talk to, that’s why you’re here.

If you don't want to be provoked, to look and see, just go somewhere else. Find an opinion that matches yours.

I’m not interested in doing battle, and that’s why I don’t do blog comments.

Life is too short to worry about other people’s opinions. Not to be arrogant, but just know that sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do without worrying what everyone thinks.

Take it easy, and have a fine day.

Do you have a choice?

Do you have a choice? I would say yes, absolutely.

In fact, I would say Life itself is your choice. It is made up of everything that you have chosen.

Sometimes it’s easy to blame someone else for things in your life - the results of your choices. But life becomes incredibly simple and clear when you take responsibility for all of it.

Granted, it's not an easy step to take because you can no longer blame anyone else. But then the rewards are all yours - life comes fully into your hands.

What choices might you want to make?

1. Choose to accept

If you can’t change or leave a situation, you must accept it. Complaining about it is as useful as hitting your own head against the wall.

2. Choose how you react

You aren’t so much in control of the situations in your life, but you are in control of your reactions. Choose how you want to react. There lies free choice.

3. Choose your attitude

See the glass as half full, choose to appreciate, to be grateful. Choose to see the silver lining. Choose to define your own version of success.

4. Choose to be present and very alive

Show up for life. Be very present - alive to the essence of this moment. Learn to meditate, learn the Bright Path Ishayas’ Ascension. Then practice it, regularly!

5. Choose to have 200% of life

Be completely balanced. Be calm, clear and centred, and productive, effective and filled with enjoyment in all aspects of your life.

6. Choose to have a blast!

Have fun, keep the peace.

As always, if you need anything, I'm here.

The one thing you must do if you don't meditate

A good meditation practice will bring you everything you want and need for a foundation for the best possible life.

It is so simple. Just close your eyes, breathe, do nothing, absolutely nothing.

It could be as simple as just stopping every now and then. Becoming truly present and open to this moment. Alive to now. And then carrying on.

Removing yourself from the drama of all the urgent things you have to do, centring yourself, getting clear, and carrying on from this new collected place.

But we love to complicate things. We love to postpone.

You don’t do the simple things that bring you the best results.

Well, if you never ever meditate, if you can’t be bothered learning and practicing the one thing that will change your life for the better …

… well, the other crucial thing you could do is develop your mindset.

Your perspective, your attitude.

Choose to see the good, the glass as half-full.

Choose to curb the harsh negative self-talk, choose to be optimistic, choose to find a way.

My medieval friend Meister Eckhart was bang on the money when he said “if the only prayer you say is thank you, it will be enough”.

Even if you just are grateful more often, your life will become richer and fuller. You will be less stressed, less tied up in the small things, less pulled down by life.

It is so simple, so ridiculously simple, and so easy to scoff at.

You don’t have to change or put on a persona, just be thankful.

Find nice things to say and do for the people around you.

Do it!

Make today about being aware of what your thoughts are doing. Cultivate more gratitude and appreciation in response.

Be active with this.

Like with anything, if you keep doing the same things, you’re just going to get the same results.

Okay?

Awesome.

Lessons from the Army’s bomb disposal team about stress

Midway through a three day course with some bomb-disposal guys from the British Army.

This is my third course with their regiment, and guess what?

It’s not even funded by the government. The bomb-disposal charity the Felix Fund are putting up the cash. Good on them.

Anyhow, what did I learn about stress?

Well, I knew it already, it’s just cool to hear it again.

They love their jobs.

They love it when they have a bomb to take apart. The whole part, sirens, cordoning off the scene, assessing, blowing it up if needed (they have their fingers crossed for this option), everything.

Same when I taught a paramedic to Ascend. I asked her how she liked her job. Her eyes got as big as saucers as she said “I LOVE IT!”

You know what causes the most stress?

Paper work, menial pointless jobs, not doing the things that they love.

And assessments.

Isn’t that funny? No chance of personal harm, just of failing.

The chance of failing causes more stress than dying.

They’ve done the real thing so many times, yet put someone with a clipboard to watch them and it creates havoc.

Do you see the obvious lesson here?

It is never the situation that causes stress, it is always your reaction to it.

Your reaction is the source of all stress.

You can’t control the situation - sometimes you’re just given a pile of poo.

But you can control your reaction. You can learn to react differently. You can choose to not be stressed.

You can choose to be calm in the face of intensity, even enjoy it.

It’s a fine line between enjoyment and stress, but it can become wide and obvious.

Now, either you don’t know how to choose not to be stressed,

Or, you don’t prioritise it.

Chances are it’s a bit of both.

It’s a skill you can develop, I swear.

You know where to find out what you need. When you’re ready just hit reply and ask, or head here:

www.thebrightpath.com or www.findpeace.co.uk

Willing to take a moment to honestly look at yourself?

If you have been reading for a while you will be well familiar with the question, “do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?” I love this question, it gives instant clarity.

If you are willing, take a moment, look within.

See all the places where you want to be right more than you value your own happiness, or for that matter, the happiness of another.

Look at how you might lose your cool to win an argument.

Or how you might sulk and get grumpy because your partner did something wrong to you.

Or how you “need” someone to understand you so you push your point of view across.

I really hope I don’t sound dramatic, but the Paris killings - they are the extreme conclusion of putting wanting to be right before being happy.

What kind of world would we live in if all the people put happiness first?

Look within.

What can you do to make sure you personally prioritise being happy rather than trying to be right?

Paris: What can you do in the face of violence?

In hearing the news of the Paris killings there can be such a feeling of powerlessness and of fear. I know that was my first reaction.

My fiance's brother and his fiance live in Paris. Brings everything a little closer to home when you know someone on the scene.

Don’t be filled with fear. It’s a deep dark hole that one - stay out of it. Fear doesn’t help any one, least of all yourself.

That powerlessness - that’s what any kind of violence or oppression is all about: Just roll over. Give in. Be fearful. You can't do anything. Do what we say.

But what can you do?

The only answer I have is to point the finger at your own heart. Ask yourself:

What can I do to make the world a better place?

Can you help increase the amount of kindness, calmness, compassion, connection and understanding in yourself and in the world?

Can you make another choice to move beyond hate and fear, prejudice and confusion?

Can you help prioritise peace, harmony and love over anything else?

Yes, yes you can.

I think in times like these our internal and external choices become even more critical.

Ask yourself not only what can you do, but what will you do?

Take care, with love and respect for everything that you do.