Often we have an idea that we don’t have enough. Enough money, enough love, enough time, enough holidays …
It can cause you so much anxiety when your mind get stuck in that particular “thought track.”
Right?
I used to be terminally in a state of anxiety due to thinking too much about "not enough” – mostly to do with money but also love too. And it affected my life is so many different ways I can’t tell you.
Thinking about "not enough" so much, to be poetic, put a big grey dampener on my whole life.
There was no such thing as possibility, only a big fat mental loop, repeating “Not enough,” “how will I get some?” "Not enough," "how will I get some?"
There was no joy: Only a holding on, a tightness of manner, a worrisome of head.
How about you?
If you have this overarching concern that is some part of your life you don’t have enough, this week, I have some great homework for you.
It worked wonders for me, and I’ve seen it work wonders for anyone who gives it an honest go.
Read on and I’ll tell you more.
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"Three things in human life are important. The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. And the third is to be kind.”
– Henry James
“No act of kindness, however small, is ever wasted.”
– Aesop
If you knew the power of kindess to others it would be a cornerstone of your entire day.
The only thing stopping you is a fear that your own life will be neglected ... That you don't have enough time or energy or resources to be kind to others ... That it's a dog eat dog world out there and you will be the one to miss out.
These fears are like monsters under the bed, only growing bigger the more you believe them. Part of the power of kindess is that it shows you that you have more than enough to be kind to others, and by doing so you get so much back in return.
If you want an end to fear and separation within yourself, find ways to be kind to others.
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A bold claim, no?
The end of fear, separation and lack within yourself … how is that even possible?
Now, what I talk about next does not involve you being irresponsible, it doesn’t mean throwing money or love or time away.
However, it does involve clarity and a smidgeon of trust, especially in the beginning.
If you feel like you don’t have enough, the problem isn’t so much caused by the physical reality, i.e. not enough money or no relationship or being too busy to sit still.
First and foremost it is caused by the overwhelming focus on the idea that you don’t have enough of the thing you want, i.e. money, love, time.
I found my focus was so much on the lack I got stressed and yet was so consumed by that idea and the stress, I did very little about it except try to hold on. I squeezed tighter.
I didn't get creative, I closed down.
What changed this around was giving and kindness to others.
It got me out of my self-consumed woes. It also showed me that the idea of lack started to dry up when I did the opposite from what my mind was telling me. It helped me release my death grip on life itself.
When I gave, even a little, I realised that I had enough to give. The world didn’t end, and even better … it made me feel great. It gave me a connection with others.
Money, like love, like time, when you give it wisely, well, it comes back in ways you’d never expect.
When you hold on and try and keep money, love and time, it never comes back. It dries up quicker than you can think.
There is a flow to all things. It comes in, it goes out.
Giving links you in with this flow, and it shows you that you have more than enough to give away.
Obsessing where the next is coming from takes you right out of this flow. It does.
I don’t know how to describe it beyond this:
Anorexics can’t see the reality of who they are, their physical shape.
Similarly, when I was involved in ideas of lack of money, I couldn’t see reality. I couldn’t see what I actually did have. All I could see was what I didn't.
And yet the more I focussed on lack, that was what I created in my life.
An amazing thing, now that I see it.
When your overwhelming focus is on “what can I get?” nothing much happens. When your focus is on “how can I give?” it seems a ton of stuff happens, and quick.
It’s a little bit magical.
I’m well aware of how woo woo this might sound, and it does. But for some reason it works. Like gratitude, which is a way of giving and being loving and kind, it can seem crazy to the cynics out there.
And yet it works.
Make a cornerstone of your life about giving to others and you will experience the magic and the freedom giving gives you. You’ll stop being anxious, you’ll start making better decisions in terms of money, love and time, and you’ll form amazing connections with others.
Just do it!
Go well,
Arjuna
PS. I've got some exciting news coming up next week about the release of my book. Finally! And very soon!
PPS.
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PPPS:
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Getting rid of the anxiety of “not having enough”