I’ve been watching UTMB, a world trail racing festival in Chamonix, France. The metaphor of climbing mountains and finish lines feels very apt for life.
The promise sounds reasonable: sort this, earn that, fix yourself, and then you can relax. It’s the way our culture does things: from elite athletes, to business people, to raising a family. I can rest when life settles down. The trouble is, life never settles down.
And, I’m sure you’ve experienced this, you reach the finish line, and you’re happy, fulfilled, complete, for maybe 48 hours. Then your mind jumps onto what’s next. Always the next thing, rarely here.
There’s nothing wrong with chasing more. I’ve written a whole book about it. But the problem with more, alone, is that there’s always more. We’re hoping more will give us enough, and it doesn’t.
I used to think that if I had more money I’d be more free, more happy. So I chased it. And the more I had, the less it delivered. I’d wake up with money worries as my first thought, even when I had more than enough. What I actually wanted wasn’t the number in the account. It was to feel free. But I’d made freedom conditional on a finish line that, once I reached it, my mind shifted again.
Same with the to-do list. The fridge will always need restocking. More bills will land next month. The kids will always need attending to. I know people who said “I’ll relax once they’re a bit older,” and then they’re older, and there’s a new version of needing. The only place any of us gets to “done” is when we’re dead. Waiting for done isn’t a plan, it’s a prison paved with good intentions.
Self-development is the same. Even the wellness world has turned growth into another treadmill: relaxation repackaged as “recovery,” just long enough so you can get back on it. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to improve. But when that’s the only setting? That’s a tough way to live.
And underneath all of it, if you look honestly, there’s something deeper running the show. We measure our worth by what we achieve, what we produce, what we hold together. “I’m not doing enough” slides very easily into “I am not enough.” The hard work, the results, the output … they become proof (or not) that we deserve to be here. And ironically, that pressure means you can’t bring your best to what you’re building, because you’re exhausted and you can’t switch off because switching off brings guilt.
So here’s something worth trying. Just for today … keep the goal, keep the ambition, keep whatever you’re building. But refuse to make today the waiting room for it. See what happens when you stop missing out on now in the chase of later.
Because enough doesn’t arrive at the finish line. It’s never about when. It’s a decision – a choice – about now. And when you stop postponing it, you don’t lose your edge. The edge was never coming from the pressure in the first place. More and enough together. That’s where you find what life is about.
And that’s what my meditation practice has given me. It hasn’t taken away my ambition. But it’s purified it. Success or failure does not define me, where it really used to. I’ve learnt to pick a mountaintop to aim at, but I now know the only way there is step by step … and I have a tool to return to the step of now, and not let the past and future crowd out the now.
I now know the steps are the life, not the summits which are few and far between.
So.
Complete this sentence: I will finally relax when… I can feel good about myself when…
If you like, send whatever you got to me. Where are you waiting to live?
And what if you didn’t wait?
And how does that feel? Daring? Scary? Peaceful?
It’s all good, let me know!