“You desire to know the art of living, my friend? It is contained in one phrase: make use of suffering.”
— Henri-Frédéric Amiel
I think the sole purpose of the dark times of my life was so I could figure out a way to never go back into those pits of despair, ever again.
I know it’s not pleasant at all when you’re in the middle of it, but I’m now glad I went through the confusion, frustration, anger, anxiety and depression that I did.
Because now it’s so clear how I work, what I need, the way the mind works, the way life works …
I now KNOW; and I think that knowledge can only have come from the experience that the way I was living was not working, and the finding of another way, one that did work.
So, yes, I say: suffering is useful.
It’s not noble, it’s not something to be celebrated – and ultimately it can be done away with – but on your journey it can be used.
Use it as a guide to tell you when you’ve gone astray.
Just like the rumble strips on the edge of the motorway –
Suffering’s purpose is to wake you up to the fact that you’re heading off.
The thing is we’re so busy doing, charging around, we’re pushing through, and we don’t pay attention to the warning signs.
So when you’re hurting, wake up. Really pay attention.
Use suffering to tell you that you need to make a different choice: Be something different, Do something different.
It’s the simple things usually.
One of the key ones is forgetting to nurture our relationship with the presence of Now – thinking too much about a past or a possible future will create suffering one hundred percent of the time.
Another is not accepting what is – focusing on what we can’t control versus basing our lives in what we can will also kick our butts every single time.
Another is not doing the simple rituals of looking after yourself. Sleep, exercise, good food, being outside, gratitude, connecting with others, that sort of thing.
There are a ton more, but I think the key is –
Don’t hide, don’t try and deny it or wish it away. Don’t get so busy you’ll “deal with it later”. That just makes suffering a monster, and unmanageable.
It’s these times that you gotta sit up and step back … to really work out where you’re going wrong.
Then you can nip it in the bud early, within seconds.
Imagine that, seconds of suffering, rather than hours and days … ?
Therefore it’s a good thing, right?
IF you use it.
Don’t settle for less. You don’t need to suffer. Let it wake you up and help you choose something different.
Perhaps you’ll come to the point where you realise how optional any kind of suffering is. And that would be such a fine thing.
Cool!
As always:
Go well,
Arjuna