People will rise to a challenge if it’s their challenge.
— James Kerr
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I think one of the most important skill to grow in life is acceptance: acceptance for the way things are; acceptance for the way you are.
A practice of acceptance is key because the overwhelming driver in so many people’s lives is criticism. Self-criticism mostly – but this gets expressed outward to others in various ways too. We meet ourselves, as Carl Jung noted, “time and again in a thousand disguises on the path of life.”
So, as it was once written, so truthfully:
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“Most people need love and acceptance a lot more than they need advice.”
— Bob Goff
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Never, ever underestimate the power of a practice of acceptance, starting with yourself.
This isn’t to say useful criticism, feedback or supportive advice does not have its place.
But recognise it’s like chilli. A touch here and there of criticism on a foundation of acceptance is a beautiful thing. But in reverse – a pinch of acceptance on a bed of criticism, and we crumble and fold and struggle.
Now, acceptance doesn’t mean you want to stay the same. That’s not how we’re wired.
We’re here to create, we’re here to become.
All of us are, even – and probably especially – those of you who think you are not. We create every day and feel best when we’re creatively dealing with life – when we’re moving forward; dancing rather than drowning.
And maybe that’s the greatest crime of social media or continuous play Netflix is that it teaches us how to be mindlessly scrolling consumers and not creators. Taken to extremes, we sit and blob and admire and dream but never make the factory of our lives busy. We don’t get our machinery of converting visions into reality rolling.
Little rant aside …
Creativity is a joyful, life-giving spark, and the joy of creativity comes best in the face of solving problems. So we need challenges and problems. We need something to overcome because this is what makes us creative.
Interesting huh?
And maybe that’s what Carl Jung (again) meant when he wrote:
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“Be grateful for your difficulties and challenges, for they hold blessings.”
— Carl Jung
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One of the blessings being creativity.
The key is that so often we feel like the challenges of life are not of our choosing. They are thrust upon us, caused to us – and when we don’t choose our challenges it is indeed a weight and not a springboard.
Therefore, my question to you, my question to myself this fine morning, is: how can you choose your own challenge?
Challenge never has to be huge.
Well, let me say that again. Maybe you do choose a vision that scares you. Like rugby player Ritchie McCaw. As a young boy Ritchie couldn’t bring himself to declare his dream to be a Great All Black, so he shortened it to GAB.
He knew exactly what it meant, he wrote it in his journal every day. It just seemed smaller, less intimidating in the short form.
But even the hugest of journeys begin with a single, small, step. Steven Kotler, flow researcher (check out his books and podcasts) says, 4% different is enough of a challenge.
Just a little bit done consistently ... that's all you need.
So take the focus and the clarity and the wisdom that you gain from your meditation and mindfulness practices, and apply it in a direction that has meaning to you.
What problem would I like to solve? Who would you like to be?
What will you stop doing? What might you start?
How can you endure the challenges that are thrust upon you – and even make them yours with a different attitude?
Life takes on a different hew when you consciously choose your own battles. As the great Nietzsche said, “He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.”
And none of this is a “I have to” or “I should”.
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“The question you should be asking isn't, "What do I want?" or "What are my goals?" but "What would excite me?”
― Tim Ferriss
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This is the joy and the life-living nature of intentionally deciding. You get to decide! Even a cross stops being a cross, as Jordan Peterson says, when you choose to voluntarily pick it up.
And so this quote heavy script comes to an end, but maybe it’s just the beginning.
What next?
Go well,
Arjuna