“In life, pain is inevitable; suffering is optional.”
— Anon
___________________________
As I write, I’m sitting watching the sun slowly descend out of the sky on a fine afternoon. A deer just sprinted across the field down from our house. One of my kids just came and gave me an impromptu hug. Hurrah!
There is so much to live for, so much beauty, so much to appreciate around me.
And yet there were times in my life that I found it hard to find even hope of seeing something better in life. There’s a world of difference between then and now.
What changed?
Well, not much. Life is pretty much the same, but I think my reaction to life is much different.
Here’s a few things that I wanted to pass along so they might help; and if you were interested in going all the way to be free of suffering, I think these three (simple) things are key:
1. Destress your nervous system, lighten the load
2. Focus on the good
3. Live in the present moment
First,
We all carry stress, to a degree. All the exhaustion and overload and impactful events of a lifetime are in our nervous systems –
It’s a subtle thing: overload piles on by degrees so you get used to it. You don’t realise how much you’re carrying until the proverbial straw comes that breaks you.
Hence, taking the time to destress, heal and recover is critical – before it gets too much.
Growth comes from stretching yourself and recovering yourself. We’re good at the stretching, not so good at the recovery. But I think when you realise how important it is, the more you’ll prioritise it.
There are so many ‘active recovery’ protocols out there that give you deep rest and lighten the load. Ascension meditation is one of them. Get amongst them (learn Ascension!).
Second,
There is plenty of what’s wrong, what’s missing and what’s not right in any life, even the most blessed.
You could rightfully claim that there is so much that shouldn’t be; you’d be justified in complaining. And yet the act of complaining simply makes it more real; it brings it into this moment when it might not need to be.
It transforms a painful event into one that means you suffer – not through the event, but your complaining and resistance to it.
There is a golden rule that at some stage you’ll want to embrace: What you focus on, grows.
Focus on what’s wrong, even with the intention of getting rid of it, and that’s what your life becomes – filled with the wrong.
In your Ascension meditation, focus on your thoughts, even with the intention of going beyond them, and that’s what fills your moment – thoughts.
And both of those have a significant impact, don’t they? You downward spiral into more of what you don’t want … which is kinda ironic, isn’t it?
So –
Focus on the good, the right, the beautiful. Focus on the quiet, calm, deep awareness that is the source of your mind. What you focus on your life becomes.
It’s not ostriching …
You’re not dipping your head in the sand and ignoring what you can do, but you’re basing your life in what is good and nourishing. This allows you to make change more effectively, and most importantly – with a smile on your face.
Third –
Choose to focus on the present.
(Heard it all before? I know it's passed around a lot, but still it's rare that you meet someone who is truly present. Don't "yeah yeah" it. It's super simple but super powerful.)
The trouble with our addiction to the past and the future isn’t so much the past and the future, but our obsessional attachment to it.
We rarely spend any quality time here, right now – and that’s the problem.
We are excellent time travellers, and this means we never are truly alive since life is only here and now.
This is the one moment you can do anything about. Yet we so often fill it with moments we can’t affect. The past is a memory and the future is a maybe. We can regret/reminisce and plan/hope/fear all we like, but it’s all so far beyond our reach it’s not funny.
Learn and plan yes, but live here, enjoy this.
To that, an exercise for you –
You’re only allowed to talk about anything that is:
1. Right here, in the moment you’re in,
2. Good, or that makes others smile,
and/or,
3. You’re discussing the past or the future in order to learn or fix or plan an event.
Got that?
Truly – get good at this and the other two.
Suffering does not have to be an inevitable part of being alive. You have a say. You can transcend all of that with a couple of simple practices, okay?
It is a skill, but you can do it … have a go and let me know what happens.
Go well,
Arjuna
PS.
Hey – I have an Ascension meditation course coming soon.
I think it’s the best thing ever for positivity, being present and learning to be free from suffering.
Dates are 28-30 June (starts 7pm), get in touch to book or for details.
Remember –
If you’ve already learnt, it’s always free to repeat. It’d be great to see you again.