"Control is fear of life while peace is trust in life."
— Anon
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I recently saw this quote and I loved it.
Whether it's from Gandhi, Socrates, or Taylor Swift – who knows with the internet – it captures how we cause our own suffering.
To experience less stress and more effectiveness and joy, you gotta acknowledge your role in your experiences.
Stress stems from trying to control outcomes due to fear they won't go as desired.
It’s so natural to want a positive future, but life's unpredictability so often leaves us frustrated and anxious.
I know that, I’ve been through that, and here's the key lessons:
You gotta realise what is a useful strategy and what is not.
You have to realise what you are in control of, and what you ain’t.
You have to realise how you make something hard much, much harder …
And in this understanding:
Do what you can and trust everything else.
Simple but not easy, I get, but in reality, it’s the ONLY option. Isn’t it?
Control manifests in two ways:
1. Trying to control what you can't leads to micromanaging, stress, exhaustion, and sleeplessness.
Just as you can't control the weather, you simply cannot control every aspect of life.
Getting super clear on this lets you focus on what you can manage and let go of the rest, resulting in more energy, clarity, effectiveness in what you can do, with enjoyment of the present.
2. Avoiding the only available course of action because it's unappealing is another form of control.
Denying reality causes suffering.
The only option you have, you don’t like, you don’t embrace, and so you try and force your preferred choice through –
All because you don’t trust that life will work out.
Often, I’ve seen this involves trying to live someone else's life for them.
It’s destroying you – you think you know best and you’re trying to protect them but they won’t listen; you worry all day and can’t sleep –
So you must step back and let them make their decisions and live their life.
You must trust life will work out for them too, no matter how scary that is for you, as not letting go is killing you.
Trust isn't passive.
It is acting, doing the best you can, but then allowing life to unfold.
In essence: Do what you can and surrender the outcome.
And that’s actually all you can do.
Do you get an insight into how limiting control can be?
You gotta trust. Let go. Surrender.
Then you can find peace and enjoyment and freedom – and effectiveness.
Good luck with that – let me know how you get on. I get it’s simple but not easy, but it is worthwhile.
Go well,
Arjuna
PS.
If you’re in and about Richmond, North Yorkshire, I have two meditation and mindfulness workshops next week –
Monday 8 July 7-8.30pm and Saturday 13 July 10-11.30am.
All proceeds are going to charity – so if you feel to, help me spread the word.
Comment “Interested” or message me and I’ll get all the details out to you!