Help!
Worry is a huge problem for a lot of people.
Health, for example - someone asked me this morning how to stop worrying about it,
So I wanted to write a little about what I did to overcome worry.
It's a longer email, but hopefully useful to you, so grab a cuppa, have a read and see what sticks.
Obviously it's a huge subject and I can't do justice to your particular case, but I think in general something here will hold true for you.
I'll do a video soon, but my throat is all scratchy from snotty bubba.
Here we go:
The answer is the same for ANY worry or anxiety.
The mechanism of worry is the same, it just has a different focus, a different object.
Money, your family, your relationship, the state of the world … doesn't matter, it'll all apply.
First point:
Worry, the feeling, is caused by a thought.
By thinking you create a feeling that you don't like.
It’s not so much about the OBJECT of your worry, but HOW you’re thinking about it.
Simple I know, but it's important to realise, because:
You don’t have a lot of control over the object, you can learn to have control over the thinking.
Freedom from worry lies within you - NOT by fixing the object.
You have to realise that its your obsession (strong word I know) with the object that causes the feeling.
It’s often super creative people who get anxious, and they get anxious when they have nothing to do.
Like sitting on a plane, last thing at night …
Then their minds want to do something, so they pick at something, anything - and the result is worry.
You’re never worried when you’re busy. Because - you don’t have time to think.
Distraction from your thoughts therefore is a great tactic.
(If you practice meditation you will get comfortable with waiting, with doing nothing, with not letting your mind wander anywhere it wants, with distraction from any obsession).
When you notice the first signs of worry and thinking - get out of your head.
Sooner the better, because your thoughts have momentum.
Get up, do something different, take some deep slow breaths counting along the way, think your Ascension Attitudes if you have them,
Change your focus.
In order to do this you have to realise that worrying about the object IN NO WAY is going to help you.
You have to realise that you create the worry because you think it helps.
You, in a way, are addicted to worrying.
You think a little thinking about your favourite issue won’t do any harm …
(The "just a little bit won't hurt" at the core of any addiction)
But it does, and before you know it you’re deep in worry.
You have to be prepared not to think about your favourite concern - cold turkey, if you like.
The second point is:
You have been thinking certain ways for a long long time.
Sometimes you will just unconsciously start, and “fall” into worry, so -
This will be a journey.
You can learn to ease your worry pretty much straight away,
But it may return time and time again.
No worries, be gently stubborn, keep coming back to what you want to grow and nurture in your mind, and life.
Practice will make perfect.
Third:
You aren’t worried, you have worry.
It helps to see it as something outside of you, like a virus or something to be defeated.
If you ARE it, then there’s not a lot of room to move with it.
If it’s something you HAVE, then you can get a half-step back from it, you can be mindful of it -
Which is essential, because:
Fourth:
By way the worst thing about worry and anxiety (or depression, anger etc),
Is getting anxious about your anxiety.
Heaping anxiety upon anxiety is the real cause of most people’s troubles.
The anxiety is one thing, the thinking around it creates more and more anxiety.
The fact is that although worry and panic is unpleasant,
It will go away.
Try not to feed it by adding to it.
Let it float, let it be there, experience it - but stay detached (half-step backed) from it.
You’re not going to die, and it won’t last forever.
You will learn to deal with it, and ultimately end it.
So -
I’m sure there’s more, however this is more than enough to get going on.
Let me know how you go -
And practice! Nothing happens without doing something, regularly.
Go well,
Arjuna
PS.
If you want to the greatest way to learn to meditate and be mindful, here's the best start I know,
Because I wrote this free guide!
All the different ways I can think of to give you freedom from your mind, and freedom from worry: