I was just in Birmingham.
For some insane reason the wife and I decided to go to the centre of town where the German Christmas market was in full swing.
There was only about a million people on the streets.
Basically it consisted of a long shuffle dodge shifty as we made our way up one edge of the street and back the other.
Then escape to a Vietnamese noodle shop for some space. Whew - Awesome noodles too.
Madness huh?
I don’t know about you, but I like people. I really do.
But crowds and hordes and mayhems of people?
Well, that’s something I’m not so keen on.
Lesson truly learnt (to be forgotten for next Christmas market or Edinburgh festival time).
I did get plenty of opportunity to witness relationships under pressure.
Hoo boy.
I know it, because I done it - all of it.
You want to know how to make a mess of a relationship?
Just ask me. I’m an expert
But I learnt.
And am doing the best I can to learn how to make my relationships even better.
So gather closely:
Here’s the most amazing thing we do:
When we got together with our partners we were all over them.
The reason why?
We clearly liked what we saw.
What you saw you liked, it was good.
That attraction meant you wanted to spend more time with them.
Good, good, good.
The reason relationships get shaky or even end is this:
As we spend time with the other we start to notice what we don’t like.
If you don’t catch it, you focus more and more on what you wish you could change.
(And sometimes you try to change them - with varying degrees of karmic whiplash.)
Bad, bad, bad.
If you feel like your relationship is a little stale, all that happened is this:
You stopped noticing what you liked and therefore you stopped saying.
You stopped the gratitude, the appreciation, the small things to say “I love you”.
Alright?
So add some pressure and the relationship blows up.
Or even just over time you stop the loving and either you or they jump ship.
Moral of the story?
Get a solid foundation.
Focus on what you like about the person.
Overwhelmingly.
And then you can, if need be, be honest.
7:1 ratio apparently.
7 positive comments to every 1 “please do this” comment.
So you want lots of loving, and an easy, peaceful, happy time of it this Christmas?
Imagine you’re trying to win them, every single day.
It’ll make things so good for you, in every way, you won’t want to stop.
And you can thank me later.
Take care Arjuna
PS.
So you are busy, far too busy for an Ishayas’ Ascension class where you’ll learn (amongst other things) the basis of how to have a better relationship.
That can wait until the New Year.
But crucially, time is of the essence - you don’t want to wait.
If you’re up for it, I can help on a one to one basis.
Go here to get in touch:
https://arjunaishaya.wufoo.com/forms/arjuna-ishaya-oneone-meditation-coaching-enquiry/ -