You ever thrown a tantrum?
Spat the dummy?
Sulked a bit?
I don’t think you have - not really.
Not properly.
There’s this guy in Japan -
And he hasn’t talked to his wife for 20 years.
They’re still married and live together, they have kids …
A whole life, and yet he’s been giving her the silent treatment for all that time.
Why?
20 years ago he got jealous about the attention his wife gave his kids when they were born.
She, obviously, was busy and involved with babies and so what does he do?
Sulks. For 20 whole years.
Long past the time when the kids are grown up, he keeps on sulking.
Why she put up with him for that long I don’t know -
But it serves a point.
How childish are we?
Really - how often to we lose it because things don’t go our way?
Instead of opening up and communicating and/or seeing how we could do things differently?
Shut down, or lash out.
Or shut down and lash out.
Or lash out and sit down.
(Something like that)
There are certain programmes that you have in your head that stop you from having an easy, super rewarding life.
You may not hold a grudge for two decades,
(actually, maybe you do … ?)
But there are certain (often unconscious) ways and habits and patterns you fall back into that don’t help your life.
They don’t help your relationship be strong and super loving and exciting, for example.
They mean you do things and say things you regret.
They mean you don't put the attention into the relationship it deserves - so they wander off,
Or -
You start to look around and see who else is out there … and you wander.
Now -
There’s no reason why you can’t have an incredible relationship with the person you are with right now.
But you have to work on yourself.
^^^
It’s a bit of cliche, but maybe its a cliche because it’s true?
The only person you can change is you.
In relationships we’re constantly waiting for the other person to change.
Like our 20 year sulker, he was waiting for her to approach him. To apologise for “ignoring” him.
But when you learn to stop blinding reacting and make aware choices,
When you take responsibility for the results of your life,
When you start doing some small things to make yourself better -
In all your roles (husband / partner / father / friend / team mate / worker / boss / gimp (?) …)
Things really start to happen,
Because you’re not waiting for the world to change.
And you can do this - just because it’s all just a habit.
Whatever programme just has a bit of momentum that’s all.
It’ll take boldness to step into some new territory -
But you can do that.
You’re here reading this because you want to, and it’s important to you.
Expect needing to be a bit bold and do it.
Don’t wait 20 years.
As you may well know I love the Ishayas’ Ascension meditation because it has given me, and continues to give me -
The foundation of greater awareness, of choice, of calm, of clarity, of focus -
So I can create new habits and mental programmes that serve my life, not hinder it,
All simply and easily and fast.
If you’re interested, opt in here and I'll give you free things to get cracking straight away:
https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane/
Go well!
Arjuna
PS.
The man in our story?
His kids set up a meeting with his wife in the park where they first met.
He opened his mouth and apologised to her.
That must have taken something after 20 years huh?
Good on him.
Actually, good on her for being so patient.
I like a happy ending to a story.
What's your happy ending going to be like? -