It’s an intoxicating vision: We have life sorted. We’re capable and knowledgeable, we’re independent, we have our sh1t together, man!
But how much of it is based on an unrealistic expectation that we should be perfect?
Because so often there’s a judgement that if we don’t know, we’re a failure – as a parent, in our relationships, in our careers, as a human.
So often attempting to be capable and independent means that we try and do everything ourselves, all by ourselves.
We try and show no weakness, no vulnerability – we never ask for help.
And at what cost?
What’s the burnout, the stress and struggle, the frustration and resentment, the feeling stupid and less than when inevitably you need a break, or you don’t know, or you have to get help?
It’s a wonderful thing to organise yourself so that you become more and more capable and resilient and solid.
However – this is NOT the opposite of vulnerable, open, and being prepared to admit when you don’t know.
It’s the same package, as the great Brene Brown explains beautifully.
The most capable and inspiring people I know are constantly asking for help and guidance. They use everything around them to make life easier and more joyful.
They are so happy to be the stupidest person in the room. They are humble and admit they make mistakes and they need assistance – and from that they are constantly becoming more.
And what powerful role models!
They’re not stupid because they don’t know or they messed up, they’re inspiring because they’re not putting themselves under pressure to be something they’re not. They’re honest, open, real – and courageous, with a fantastic vision for their lives. And that allows all of us to do the same.
Perfection is such a tricky thing. You are who you are, right now. There is growth, there is more, yes.
But becoming better is so so much easier when you base it all in complete acceptance of who you are, right now.
Real is better than perfect.
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