“Suffering is part of our training program for becoming wise.”
— Ram Dass
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Ram Dass was a glorious dude. He came onto the scene as a psychologist and LSD researcher alongside Timothy Leary in the 1960s and turned out as a full blown wise man.
Wise as in free, full of integrity and truth. Wise as in a lover of life, someone unrestricted and fully alive – without limits or fear.
If there’s anything that these words to you are about, it’s not settling for less in life.
If you’ve been following, you’ll know it’s discovering ALL of life. It’s about living your full potential.
Part of that is learning to end suffering.
To end suffering!
Not just the management of stress and struggle and confusion and fear; but the complete extinction of it. Finding the root cause and pulling it out, time and time again, so suffering never grows in your life again.
How’s THAT sound?
I just get a little excited writing those words. It’s a great adventure indeed.
So when Ram Dass says something like suffering is part of our training for becoming wise, I take note.
This doesn’t make suffering noble. Oh no. There’s nothing great or glorious about suffering. There’s nothing about human life that means we need to suffer either.
But suffering is a very useful tool –
You see:
It’s a wake up call.
When we suffer it means we’re doing something wrong.
It’s the rumble strip at the edge of the motorway. It means we’re heading off track.
It’s an invitation to change – we have a chance to live better, more skillfully.
How?
It’s not about them. It’s not about the external circumstances – it’s all about us.
There’s much to be said for being brave and bold and making different decisions, for doing things differently.
How often do we sit on the fence, how often do we compromise our lives and slowly suffocate because making the decision or having the conversation will be difficult?
I remember a big period of my life where I didn’t say what I knew to be true because I didn’t want to upset the apple cart I was involved in. I valued being in other people’s ‘good books’ more than I valued the authenticity and truth of my own heart.
The result?
I was docile and slowly suffocating on my own unspoken and unlived truth. Horrible.
Suffering here means we need to do something different.
You need to get up and go. I needed to get up and go. And it wasn’t easy – I had a good gig; but there was a better gig just around the corner out of sight.
The decision to get up and go meant I took that corner and could head directly to better.
Does that make sense?
Often though, suffering just means we’re trying to find certainty and control in places where there is none.
There is so much anxiety and depression and frustration about at the moment.
We’re looking for certainty in politicians and heroes, in our jobs and relationships, in the future, in the weather. And it just can’t be found there.
The whole world is change. Time is change. Everything comes and goes.
The only way to navigate all of that change and uncertainty is to find certainty and control in the only place you’re guaranteed to find it.
Within.
Here, now, within you is the only certain thing. You can’t always control the stuff of life, but you can certainly control how you react to it.
This is the only safe port in the storm of life.
This is the purpose of suffering – to point you to an inner path to the presence of Now.
True.
This is wisdom.
This is why we suffer – so we can stop suffering.
You’ll make mistakes!
You’ll fall on your arse and be filled with regret and guilt and remorse and frustration and all of that.
Use it as a springboard. You’re in training to be wiser. You’re in training to live a truly exceptional life.
Get up, head within, head back into Now, and go again with a light heart knowing you’re getting better and better, that you’re becoming wiser and freer.
Go well,
Arjuna