Like this? Or like that?

How do you want to live your life? Dragging yourself out of bed, exhausted, knackered, crusty, dreading the day ahead of you? Anxious with concerns, frustrated and angered by work, by the commute, grouchy with your loved ones when you make it home?

Feeling like your head is so busy, there’s so many things to think about and you can’t get any sense of any of them?

Or …

Relaxed, quick to smile, quick to let it all go. Full of energy and creativity with a sense of play? Appreciative and able to take time to smell the roses and get both feet on the ground. Where you’re not swimming to stay afloat, nothing is too much, it’s all manageable, and it feels like you’re making progress … ?

Look - it just takes practice to live this way. Just practice.

Living like this is not a fluke. You can be this all the time, you don’t need to wait for a funk to clear, you can make it so that you don’t get in a funk in the first place.

Resilience, fluidity, flexibility … whatever you want to call it, it can be yours … all day long.

What it requires is you meditating. This is the practice that results in you being on top form. Spend some time every single day to close your eyes and learn to gain a different kind of awareness, the ability to let go and focus on this exact moment in time.

I know you’re busy, I get that, I really do. But finding the time to practice really depends on you, what you want from life, and how much you value living well.

Do you value living well?

And are you prepared to give yourself a little time to get that, to be the very best version of you?

Very important questions me thinks. Let me know if I can help with them.

Go well! Arjuna

PS. I have a free guide for you to help you get started with meditation. A very simple, very effective way. Head here to get a copy, as well as some other goodies:

https://mailchi.mp/60dbe4ffeccf/freedom-from-thinking-so-much

Now don’t just download it and sit on it … “I’ll get to that later” … do it!

And let me know how I can help.

What I learnt from being like Simon Cowell

Simon Cowell - he, the “nasty” judge of the X-Factor TV talent show - is doing the complete opposite of my idea of what an entertainment busy bigwig does: He’s given up his mobile phone for the last 10 months, and all to try and do something to benefit his mental health.

Cool huh? Also cool that he’s so public with the fact that he suffers from stress and negativity and overwhelm, just like everyone else.

I did the same thing and gave up my phone - for 10 days.

It was while I was away on retreat in Patmos. I locked my phone in the hotel safe, and only brought it out for 15 minutes a day.

So basically I cheated, a little. 

But I tell you, I learnt a lot. I could have better interactions with people, was more mindful and best of all - felt like a weight was lifted from my shoulders, one that I didn't know was there.

It was spectacular to have huge chunks of my day where I just didn’t concern myself with anything to do with the world of the internet.

I found that large amounts of my “essential” must check this, “must find out that” flicking was a complete waste of time, and a weight on my shoulders.

The other thing - 

I think I'm already pretty good at not using my phone when there are other people in the room. I think conversation and connection is an art and if you don’t practice it, you end up unable to.

Jumping on the phone when there are other people around - people that I want to have a great relationship with - just means they get ignored and the relationship suffers. It does. And the crazy thing is you don’t really realise it.

Without my phone being around I saw that even more so, and I was given the ability to truly be with someone and to connect with them. That's really important to me.

But most importantly I found on my phone I wasn’t so mindful. It’s hard to be present. And that is the most crucial thing to me - staying alive to the presence of Now.

This is the one moment I’m alive and losing it to trivia is not how I want to live. Wasting time on click bait and rubbish and gossip is not how I want to fill my days.

Don’t get me wrong - entertaining trivia is wonderful in small doses. I love that. But I realised I was getting to a point where trivia was taking over.

“Just 5 minutes” was turning into half an hour … you know? Staying on my phone for too long and I started drifting, drifting into unconscious dream land.

So … for your consideration.

Mobile phones are amazing. It’s just I would say, from personal experience, be careful you don’t fall into being a slave to them. You don’t want that.

Go well! Arjuna

PS. Meditation and mindfulness should be a very simple set of tools and techniques that align you with the Presence of Now - no matter where you are and what you are doing - making you come Alive to life and be able to drop negativity and overwhelm, any time you wish.

If you want to know how, I have a whole list of things that will help:

https://mailchi.mp/60dbe4ffeccf/freedom-from-thinking-so-much

How do I stop my bad dreams?

Have you ever had a run of sleepless nights? Your anxiety or bad dreams ruining any chance of getting some rest, some peace? Or perhaps your mind is just running a thousand miles per hour, trying to help you by outlying everything that went wrong today, and everything that’ll go wrong tomorrow? Dude! Do you live in my head? At least, the head I had before I learnt to manage all the craziness that would sometimes appear in between my ears.

Someone else asked me that same question just yesterday: “How do I stop my bad dreams?”

The easy answer is that you can’t.

You can’t stop your dreams, or your thoughts, or your emotions. And honestly, you don’t want to.

You’ll get into such a battle that you’ll get less rest, not more, and the dreams, the thoughts will keep coming.

As bad as they may feel, as fearful as they might be, your dreams are actually a useful way, a natural way,of your mind/body processing and coming to terms with past events and overwhelm.

Suppressing, sedating, getting into a fight just means they’ll - at best - go away temporarily and then bounce back much much stronger next time.

What is easier, indeed what is possible, is to change how much attention you put on them.

However, this requires a touch of courage, a touch of faith on your behalf.

First thing that helped me no end was to assume that what was happening wascompletely natural AND would have an end.The less resistance I could bring to it, the less I could get into the story and the drama around it, the faster it would go.

Courage is required not to hide from these fears but to sit with them. Not entertaining them, but sitting alongside them while they spin themselves out.

Faith is needed that if you do this it WILL have an end, it will come to a conclusion at some time, when you allow it.

In the beginning I found an anchor by focusing on my breath when I woke, sweating and with that awful feeling in my belly. Not fighting what was left of the dream but bringing more attention to the sound and feeling of the air coming in and out, slowly and methodically.

The more I practiced during the day the easier this was to pull off, half asleep and panicked in the middle of the night.Just to breathe, to find security and the present moment, to find one thing I could hold onto while not struggling against the fear.

Learning the Ascension Attitudes was such a bonus. They helped this natural “pressure release” happen so much more gracefully and easily.

You’ll come to place where you might have the same dream but it has no emotional content anymore. It’ll be almost like an old photo that brings up a memory but has no hooks.

But the weirdest thing, perhaps the hardest thing to come to terms with is that the best way to come out the other side is not avoidance but going through.

The bonus you get is to realise that you CAN face your fears and your anxieties, your regrets and your guilts and they won’t kill you. They may make you shake, but you can sit with those things and remain ultimately untouched by them.

And that is such a huge thing, because fear then can never stop you doing anything.

I hope that helps any of you that suffer with fear, anxiety, panic. NOW - This takes practice!Practice now while the going is good and then you will find it easier in the tough times, ok?

Let me know if you have any questions at all too.

Go well! Arjuna

PS. I've got a free guide that talks about, amongst other things, a breathing meditation. Here's where to get a copy:
www.arjunaishaya.com/freestuff

Harvard says here's how you can change how people think of you

I few days ago I wrote about how you can't control what other people think about you.Turns out I was wrong - ha! I love it when I'm wrong.

You CAN affect what other people think of you. You see:

A Harvard Psychologist says being present means other people think three things about you:

- you are believable - you are confident without being arrogant - you are seen to be honest - your verbal and non-verbal communication is in sync.

Isn’t that nice?

Here's the link if you want to have a quick shifty yourself:

https://uk.finance.yahoo.com/news/harvard-psychologist-says-success-situation-153500508.html

Now this study was done by the woman that invented the “power pose” - a way of standing adopted by politicians and corporate peeps en mass for a while there that increased positive hormone levels and confidence ... but actually there wasn’t a lot of science behind it.

However - never let a lack of science get in your way.

If you are feeling low, sick, depressed - try standing up as tall as you can, roll your shoulders back and lift your chin. Makes a world of difference to your inner state.

Back to the main point though -

I know Harvard hasn’t worked out how to measure a bunch of different “effects” on other people of you being present, but it is true:

When you are present other people notice. It’s a rare thing, really it is. Because not many people are that present. They aren't.

Not many people truly listen without formulating a reply at the same time. Or maybe they’re thinking about that thing at work, or what Jo Bobbalina said to them this morning. Or maybe they’re just plain old on their phone. Still amazes me when I head out to the restaurant or pub of how many people are not communicating, just flicking.

People spend more time paying attention to their own thoughts than to their outside world. Harvard hasn't measured it yet, but that is true, believe me.

So when you get present, people notice. Actually - The greatest thing you can give anyone is your full attention. It changes everything.

Try it - with your kids, your partner, with the people you meet in your day. Give them your full attention and see what happens. Let me know!

(The picture is of my favourite stock image girl showing you one way of fully listening to someone - why not try that!? Heh heh)

And the great thing is for you: You won’t miss a single moment of your life. Which is kind of a big deal, considering here it is, right in front of you. You’re fully present to your life, not lost in your head thinking about it.

You show up for your life! How about that then?

Awesome - go well, Arjuna

PS. Show up! Here’s how to get rid of those habits and patterns which mean you don’t show up. And it's free to you because you are awesome:

www.arjunaishaya.com/freestuff

What can you learn from exhaustion?

I’m back from my holidays! How wonderful is it to travel? It is one of my favourite things. I love seeing new places and eating new food. That’s the main reason - I think my life revolves around food. Food, food, and more food. Oh - I’m getting distracted. Here’s what I learnt in my travels:

Flying to New Zealand from the UK takes a) a very, very long time, b) awesome amounts of luggage for a being that is so small (see picture for a representation of what Bubba packed), and c) a certain kind of insanity to believe you’ll get any rest with a 1 year old in tow.

Now I’m pretty level headed. I don’t get thrown by much, truly. It's not because I'm special, simply because I made it my mission to not be. Since practicing and teaching the Bright Path Ishayas’ meditation malarky for nearly 15 years it’s given me much in terms of not being automatically triggered by people and situations.

The thing that I saw in my travels was how wild my emotions and reactions started to get just due to good old exhaustion. Snappyness - that short fuse that shows itself to no one but your nearest and dearest … and depression - that aimless, soul-less, juice-less greyness of “there’s no point” all due to just being plain old knackered.

Rest is an easy solution, job done - although to many people that is the last thing they will let themselves do - but when you have another 7 hour flight to go? Being aware of what’s boiling away inside and not taking it seriously is the way forward. You can safely ignore it, it doesn’t need any attention, it doesn’t require you working out “why?”, it’s all simply because you are tired … you see?

In awareness you just become extra careful in not following those internals. Easy peasy - when you’ve done the work before hand. That’s the real thing about a meditation practice. It DOES slow and eventually end negative reactions like anger and depression and anxiety but it also means you become MORE aware of them arising within you sooner.

Being more aware is a great thing, but many people misunderstand it. You WANT to be more aware. All so you can not let anything take you over and do things that you regret later on. All so you can shift your attention to that still silent presence that is beyond all these things.

I hope that makes sense, I’m still jet lagged, but its an important point. You don’t need to stop thoughts or emotions - that is HARD work, and ultimately impossible - you just need to start having a different relationship with them.

They don't need to go. You just need to be aware of when you're getting lost in them. Freedom from negativity and limitation is, in part, having no care whether these thoughts and feelings are there or not. And it just takes practice. It’s a kind of internal strength and flexibility you see, a skill you can practice.

All it takes is you sitting down and closing your eyes regularly. A small sacrifice for freedom in your life, is it not? Let me know if you need help with what to do.

Go well! Arjuna

PS. The thing I will recommend to get started with is right here, after this link. It's a free report on all the hows you need to get going, complete with FAQs:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb

Don’t half-arse it

The thing about humans is that we are incredible time-travellers. We need no machines - we’re all over the place in our heads. We are SO good at time travelling, we rarely spend any time here. True! It’s the world’s greatest problem. Being able to be fully here for any significant length of time without being distracted by the next shiny thing ... Ooh shiney! So instead of just making a cup of tea you’re thinking about what you should have said to that woman this morning. You’re sitting with your partner and yet you’re back at work. You’re on the phone talking with someone yet trying to find that date when you’ll be free whilst making toast for your kids. You’re listening to someone yet you’re not listening - you’re already replying in your head.

We’re constantly half-arsing life. Trying to do at least two things at once, and all of them suffer for it.

Stress ends and life gets amazing when you show up for it. Showing up for it is completely related to your ability to:

1. do one thing at a time 2. give 100% attention to that one thing you are doing

It is that simple folks, I promise you!

Think about it - how good is that film when you’re also on Facebook, flicking through? Flick through Facebook or watch the film. Either / or - not everything at once. You can’t do it.

One thing at a time, give it your full attention.

Great stuff! Nice chatting with you, put that into practice, ok?

Go well! Arjuna

PS. A decent meditation technique, of course, gives you the ability to develop this one thing at a time approach to life. 100% attention means you can focus on what you want, and ignore what you don’t.

So very good. Here’s a free guide that I put together so you can master your mind and have more fun than ever before:

www.arjunaishaya.com/freestuff

What you’re looking for is what you are

I used to have a sweet little fridge magnet, attached not as you’d expect to my fridge, but no - it was on my toaster, just because that’s the way I do things. How bohemian, you might say? Exactly. But it reminded me - when I took the trouble to pause and connect and put myself in the place to truly be reminded - to stop the struggle, stop the fight to become, to secure.

What did it say?

“You already are what you seek” If you’re like me there’s a bunch of things you would like to do. There’s also a particular way you want to live your life. Open, free, unchained, adventures, growth, discovery, kind, helpful, big smile on your face.

To be more focussed and effective and efficient and unswayed by the ups and downs of outrageous fortune? You already have it - you just need to stop and slow down and be that.

To be more free and fun, living a big fat happy bloated life? You already have the means right here, right now, right within you.

Stop looking and frantically searching to become that, and JUST BE IT. If you have an effective meditation tool like the Bright Path Ishayas Ascension it will simply remind you of that state of being so much so you’ll never forget.

Closing your eyes therefore isn’t about escaping the world but equipping you with the means to tackle all your challenges head on. Calm, clear, content. Alright?

Good work - go well, go to it, live well! Arjuna

PS. I am so excited about my new book - just putting finishing touches on it, finding a cover, working out how to make it into a real paper book, and so, if you desire, will have it very soon.

Until then there are a million ways of making sure you put yourself in the space of remembering. If you haven’t seen the Facebook group perhaps stop by and check it out:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/anhouradaymindful/ 

You always get to go again

The thing about a new year is making new commitments to do different stuff or indeed, do the same stuff differently. Right? Resolutions to get fit, learn that language, be a better mum or dad, wife or husband, try not to lose your temper or worry so much … The fact is you always are beginning again. No matter how great or how terrible you think you’re doing, you’re only as good as what you’re up to now.

Which is nice - you always get another chance. And this moment is the one place you can do anything about. You can have all the good intentions for the future, but this is it. This is where the rubber meets the road.

Forgiveness for past failings is a huge thing then. So many people cling to what they have done wrong, way past the event. The biggest thing you can do is learn and move on. So it went tits up? OK - so what next? Learn and move on.

The purpose of mindfulness and meditation then isn’t only to gain perfect peace and calm, one that is unruffled by challenge or stress.

It is to see where you can live bigger and be more free. It gives you the awareness to step into an even more expanded and chain free and content and effective life.

So you’re going to see places where you react or habits and negativity that you weren’t aware of before. You can be ashamed of these things, or you can use it as fuel to become bigger.

Thats a nice choice, isn’t it? Shame or a launch pad … what do you choose? Go again, always go again. Not only will you get there, you’ll keep going beyond what you thought life could be about. And that is very nice indeed.

I’m here to help too - let me know, I’d love to chat. Go well! Arjuna

PS. If you’re interested in getting really good at this stuff? Here's a free guide which will help you so much: https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb

What have I done wrong?

I got a Facebook message the other day, regarding the little mindfulness challenge that I got going on.

_______

Arjuna I haven’t done the mindfulness meditation for two days! I have slept and slept and I’m starting afresh today … I hope no one else has slipped up like me!! Thing is I don’t know why ... I was feeling so good and getting excellent results straight away, whats happened ??!

_______

Now whether you are part of the challenge or not, here’s the thing:

You will forget, you will get distracted, you will fall asleep. This is normal, this is habits.

The critical thing you can choose to have - the attitude you can choose to take - is one of gentleness, and a willingness to simply get back on the horse WHEREVER you find yourself.

Forgiveness and patience, and innocence too - you can only be mindful and aware right now. You can’t do a single thing about the past; it has totally gone, it has removed itself from you.

And that is the whole point of being mindful and aware, of meditating: is making the habit that now is it. Now is the one place you can attend to, the one place you can live, the one place you can do anything about.

So when you forget - and you will, unless you are an Olympic athlete of awareness - simply smile and begin again. No recriminations, no wondering what you have done wrong, do nothing but resetting to here and now. Re-begin again - give yourself that gift.

OK? Keep it that simple and life will become a constant joy.

Go well!

Arjuna

PS.

If you’d like to be a part of this challenge - the goal of which is to become more aware, more focussed, more happy, more half-stepped back from those pesky thoughts and feelings, here’s all the gubbins:

https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/houradaymindful/ 

Is there life BEFORE death? - That is the question!

I woke up this morning and looked out the window to see a wonder.

The fields at the back of the house completely white with frost, and the low autumn sun sneaking up, making everything shine with colour. Spectacular.

There are moments in life that take your breath away.

When you stop, and go “wow!”. This morning was one of them.

Someone once said that the quality of a life perhaps could be measured not in how many moments you have, but how many moments that took your breath away. That the question of whether there is life after death is irrelevant, people should concern themselves only with whether there is life BEFORE death.

The trouble is with “wow” moments is that people don’t put themselves in the way of them enough.

Life is lived at such a fast pace that showing up to now is rare -

“I’ll just get this done, and that done, and then I’ll stop” … you know it, you know you never seem to get to the end of your to do list. So busy thinking and doing and rushing around - so how will you ever fill a life with “wow!”?

In fact, a life of “why?” can become “normal” - as in “why is this happening to me?!”

It’s a tragedy because a whole life can be lost, just through not paying attention - and yet it’s the simplest thing to do. Mindfully giving your attention to the one thing in front of you.

Remembering to look up and away from your phone at the far view, at what’s around you. Remembering to stop and check out of the frantic nature of your own mind, even just for a breath or three.

The amount of wow moments you have is directly related to how often you come out of your busy head and appreciate what there is, here, now.

I know you're busy, I know people are depending on you. But no one is going to do it for you - you’re going to have to build that habit of being more Awake and Alive yourself. So rewarding it is. So great to really live, no matter how busy your life feels. So great to live a life of wow.

And how happy will your loved ones be, when they get the best version of you back? Super dooper happy.

You can do it.

Go well!

Arjuna

PS.

If you'd like to be more mindful - here's a free 7 day challenge that will be right up your street.

Everything you need to build the mindfulness "muscle":

https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/houradaymindful/

There's even a very supportive challenge Facebook group for you to check out (details in above link).

Hearing voices in your head?

Are you aware that you have voices in your head, that you talk to, all the time??

If you, on reading that sentence, thought,

“What a load of rubbish, I don’t have any voices, I don’t talk to myself” -

That’s exactly what I’m talking about.

Talking to yourself is nothing to be ashamed of; it doesn’t mean you are crazy (well, not much).

The fact is everyone does it all the time.

The fact is you have a team of consultants and cheerleaders and doubters and naysayers and geniuses and village idiots in your head.

No deal.

However: In terms of peace of mind, freedom from stress, and living 200% of life, you need to be aware of what the voices in your head are telling you.

When you aren’t aware, you have no choice.

You follow and do and feel and react according to whatever voice is there.

You’ve lived so close to these voices in your head for so long it seems like there is no option -

you automatically follow what they say.

It’s one result when you go with the voice that says “I’m hungry”,

Completely another path when you believe the voice that states “I can’t” or “I’m stupid”.

Perhaps even more insidious is the voice that commands “I should”.

In awareness you have choice.

When you are aware of these voices in your head, you have options.

Previously, you heard the voice and automatically went with it.

In awareness, life stops being a series of reactive “what you have always done” habits and starts being based on creative choices –

You start consciously living your life.

You become aware of restrictive or limiting patterns and habits and can make other decisions.

Choice is the key word, always.

Choice does not require effort.

Nor does it require your mind to shut up or go away.

Good news!

Because shutting your head up is very hard work.

Much easier to be aware and take a half step back from your voices,

Then you can see what else there is beyond your thoughts.

That’s when life starts to get really cool.

So give that a shot.

Meditate. Be mindful. And what a fascinating journey of discovery life becomes.

Go well!

Arjuna

PS.

Want a FREE guide to getting more mindful and aware of your voices?

Here you go:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb

Derren Brown, master illusionist, and the harmful stories you tell yourself

A quote for you from the great mentalist / illusionist Derren Brown (from his latest book) …

You see, he’s a master at getting you to see what HE wants you to see,

Therefore missing out on what is ACTUALLY happening in plain sight.

It’s fun - it’s entertaining - it’s a show …

But your mind does that to you every single day.

Derren speaks:

_______

"Paying attention to the present moment is our most effective means of undoing the harmful and perpetuating narratives by which we live, by challenging them with the counter-evidence we notice around us."

________

To translate, what Derren is talking about is this:

We tell ourselves lies, porkies, untruths, fake news -

and those stories hurt and limit you.

It affects everything you do - and don’t do too.

Sometimes, actually in my experience, OFTEN times -

You don’t even notice this relatively steady diet of limitation.

It’s become so normal that you think that voice is the true voice of “You”.

You don’t see what is true in life, you don’t see the beauty of you, the potential -

You believe the stories filled with the negative, why you did wrong, why you can't ...

Simply because your own mind mis-directs you.

Your mind is a master at creating illusions.

Powerful illusions for sure -

But only because you give them power by believing them, only because you don't stop to examine them.

The way out of living a life of illusion? Of believing the fake news?

Get super present - then you start to see what is real and what isn’t.

Examine your thoughts -

Don’t take them as real,

Take them with a large pinch of salt until proven to be your ACTUAL experience.

(and then let them go too, because your experience will change quickly on this basis)

That is just one of the benefits of regularly closing your eyes to meditate.

The gap between what you experience to be true and real -

And what a voice in your head tells you is true and real -

Gets more and more contrasting.

You gain CHOICE - and that is a powerful thing in freeing yourself from the Matrix,

From the illusion you’ve believed in your whole life.

The end of stress and negativity, the beginning of real Life.

It’s something I recently talked in depth about with Lila, another Ishaya monk from New Zealand.

Here's the conversation if you’d like to listen to it.

I’m sure it’s worth it -

www.lilab.life/09-arjuna-finding-the-true-sense-of-me/

Go well!

Arjuna

PS. of course, if you’d like to get the tools that make choice so real and so simple,

Here is the best place to start, and it's free:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb

Nothing simpler for finding peace and freedom.