Iggy Pop and Anthony Bourdain on contentment vs drive

Wouldn't it be great to be able to choose yourself an honorary uncle or auntie? You'd be able to pop over and hang out and soak in their wisdom and life experience. Get advice, hear stories, ask questions. Learn and laugh, all at the same time.

Two uncles I would have chosen would be Iggy Pop and the recently deceased Anthony Bourdain.

I love these two gentlemen for the lives they have lived, because they seem to have taken life choices less made – and I recently read a great interview with the both of them.

Here it is, if you’re interested: http://www.gq-magazine.co.uk/article/iggy-pop-anthony-bourdain-interview

They’re asking each other about contentment versus drive.

Both are in a place where they no longer need to work for money, and they’re talking about why they keep doing what they’re doing, as opposed to retiring to a sunny locale and “waiting to die.”

Have a read, but contentment vs drive used to be a big personal question for me, and one I now get asked a lot (funny that!)

Contentment and drive are seen to be an either/or thing in our society.

"If I’m content then that means I won’t be able to do the things I want to do, I’ll lose my ‘edge’” …

or …

“If I chase the things I want to do then stress and a lack of contentment will be a necessary by-product …”

But what if … ?

(Again, always the what if!)

But what if both fed each other?

Because they do. Just because everyone lives like they don’t, it doesn’t make it true.

Contentment alone doesn’t make for an enjoyable life. Sure, sitting around on your bottom is great, especially when you’ve been working hard. In fact it makes it all the more enjoyable.

But as a 24/7-365 strategy? Not that exciting.

Drive makes a life exciting. Goals - done the right way - mean you feel alive. People are never happier when they feel like they’re improving and getting somewhere.

However, you need to be totally present and appreciative too with all this – otherwise you get stressed and overwhelmed and pressured and negative and live so far in the future you can’t see anything else. You get discontent when your focus stays on what you don’t have.

In getting anything, you also need to know when to rest, how to switch off the mind.

Furthermore, knowing how to attend to all the aspects of your life, not just one or two, is important – at least to me.

So many people solely focus on work and forget their health and relationships. Or focus on family alone, and not on what makes them alive.

You’ll see it taken to extremes in the (very cool) Netflix doc the Defiant Ones, about Jimmy Iovine and Dr Dre. It’s about these amazing, talented music guys who are genius. It’s not a big part of the documentary, but it’s clear in several bits that they are so focussed on their work they spend a big chunk of their lives tuning everything and everyone else completely out.

Reading Lance Armstrong’s books even before the details of his drugs scandal broke was the same.  It was obvious he would be a nightmare to try and have a relationship with, even just to be around, unless you bought solely into his super-focused and narrow vision of life.

I wonder if that sole dedication, focus and sacrifice is worth it?

Would you pay that price? To be a genius in one sphere of life but have everything else be neglected?

I’m not sure I would. But I’m happy with “good enough,” that idea that balance and good enough everywhere is way better than perfectionism in a small somewhere.

Anyhoo – I’m rambling now. What I’m trying to say is that you can have your cake and eat it too. Drive and contentment, focus and calm, peace and performance can all be yours.

You don’t need to make peace and performance and either/or situation, even if you choose to narrow your focus and be a world champion.

Okay?

Go well! Arjuna

PS. Do you know what Iggy Pop answered when Anthony Bourdain asked him what thrills him, after a life of adventure?

“Being loved and actually appreciating the people that are giving that to me”, replied Iggy. Awesome.

PPS.

I called my six-month programme of helping you transform your relationship with your mind and all aspects of your life “200%” because that’s what it gives you.

100% inner contentment, calm, happiness and focus leads to 100% of the rewards of life.

If you’re interested, drop me a line and I’ll let you know all the details.

Like this? Or like that?

How do you want to live your life? Dragging yourself out of bed, exhausted, knackered, crusty, dreading the day ahead of you? Anxious with concerns, frustrated and angered by work, by the commute, grouchy with your loved ones when you make it home?

Feeling like your head is so busy, there’s so many things to think about and you can’t get any sense of any of them?

Or …

Relaxed, quick to smile, quick to let it all go. Full of energy and creativity with a sense of play? Appreciative and able to take time to smell the roses and get both feet on the ground. Where you’re not swimming to stay afloat, nothing is too much, it’s all manageable, and it feels like you’re making progress … ?

Look - it just takes practice to live this way. Just practice.

Living like this is not a fluke. You can be this all the time, you don’t need to wait for a funk to clear, you can make it so that you don’t get in a funk in the first place.

Resilience, fluidity, flexibility … whatever you want to call it, it can be yours … all day long.

What it requires is you meditating. This is the practice that results in you being on top form. Spend some time every single day to close your eyes and learn to gain a different kind of awareness, the ability to let go and focus on this exact moment in time.

I know you’re busy, I get that, I really do. But finding the time to practice really depends on you, what you want from life, and how much you value living well.

Do you value living well?

And are you prepared to give yourself a little time to get that, to be the very best version of you?

Very important questions me thinks. Let me know if I can help with them.

Go well! Arjuna

PS. I have a free guide for you to help you get started with meditation. A very simple, very effective way. Head here to get a copy, as well as some other goodies:

https://mailchi.mp/60dbe4ffeccf/freedom-from-thinking-so-much

Now don’t just download it and sit on it … “I’ll get to that later” … do it!

And let me know how I can help.

What I learnt from being like Simon Cowell

Simon Cowell - he, the “nasty” judge of the X-Factor TV talent show - is doing the complete opposite of my idea of what an entertainment busy bigwig does: He’s given up his mobile phone for the last 10 months, and all to try and do something to benefit his mental health.

Cool huh? Also cool that he’s so public with the fact that he suffers from stress and negativity and overwhelm, just like everyone else.

I did the same thing and gave up my phone - for 10 days.

It was while I was away on retreat in Patmos. I locked my phone in the hotel safe, and only brought it out for 15 minutes a day.

So basically I cheated, a little. 

But I tell you, I learnt a lot. I could have better interactions with people, was more mindful and best of all - felt like a weight was lifted from my shoulders, one that I didn't know was there.

It was spectacular to have huge chunks of my day where I just didn’t concern myself with anything to do with the world of the internet.

I found that large amounts of my “essential” must check this, “must find out that” flicking was a complete waste of time, and a weight on my shoulders.

The other thing - 

I think I'm already pretty good at not using my phone when there are other people in the room. I think conversation and connection is an art and if you don’t practice it, you end up unable to.

Jumping on the phone when there are other people around - people that I want to have a great relationship with - just means they get ignored and the relationship suffers. It does. And the crazy thing is you don’t really realise it.

Without my phone being around I saw that even more so, and I was given the ability to truly be with someone and to connect with them. That's really important to me.

But most importantly I found on my phone I wasn’t so mindful. It’s hard to be present. And that is the most crucial thing to me - staying alive to the presence of Now.

This is the one moment I’m alive and losing it to trivia is not how I want to live. Wasting time on click bait and rubbish and gossip is not how I want to fill my days.

Don’t get me wrong - entertaining trivia is wonderful in small doses. I love that. But I realised I was getting to a point where trivia was taking over.

“Just 5 minutes” was turning into half an hour … you know? Staying on my phone for too long and I started drifting, drifting into unconscious dream land.

So … for your consideration.

Mobile phones are amazing. It’s just I would say, from personal experience, be careful you don’t fall into being a slave to them. You don’t want that.

Go well! Arjuna

PS. Meditation and mindfulness should be a very simple set of tools and techniques that align you with the Presence of Now - no matter where you are and what you are doing - making you come Alive to life and be able to drop negativity and overwhelm, any time you wish.

If you want to know how, I have a whole list of things that will help:

https://mailchi.mp/60dbe4ffeccf/freedom-from-thinking-so-much

Winston didn’t say this about courage, but it’s still cool

I found a cool quote yesterday, I wanted to share it with you:______

“Success is not final, Failure is not fatal: It’s the courage to continue that counts.”

- Anon ______

Supposedly Winston Churchill said that, but experts are saying he had nothing to do with it.

Just as an aside - it’s interesting isn’t it? All these quotes that Buddha said, or Michaelangelo said, or Gandhi said, and none of them are true.

As Aristotle once wrote: "Not everything you read on the internet is true"... Heh heh.

These experts occasionally complain about this lack of scholarly attention, but the cool thing is this:

The WORDS have truth in them, that’s why they travel so far and wide. And to me? That’s all that really matters.

I remember ages back there was this channelled being called Ramtha. He spoke some very wise words and helped a ton of people out with what he was saying, through his channeller JZ Knight.

One day JZ pipes up and admits that she made it all up, Ramtha didn’t exist and it was just her speaking her truth.

People left in their droves. 

They wanted the glamour, I guess, of some mystical being and not the words of “just” some housewife.

But here is my point, in this rather large detour … it doesn’t matter where truth comes from, as long as it speaks from you.

Young Bubba is FULL of truth and she doesn’t even speak yet. So if I were you, I'd stay open to finding truth anywhere.

BACK to the quote though - 

No matter where it comes from, it’s an excellent set of advice, isn’t it?

No matter what, just get up and go again. Think you're a success? Doesn't matter - this moment is it. Think you're a failure? Doesn't matter - you get another chance to go again.

In Ascension there will be times where your head just tells you to give up. It will. If it’s anything like my head, then it will.

However the funny thing is that no matter how difficult life might SEEM, no matter how much my head would whine and complain and tell me to get out of there …

I knew - really - deep down, that I had no choice. I would keep going until I mastered my mind, until the job was done.

The more I did that, the more it led to the same attitude in life and in doing all those things I said I wanted to do.

No matter what, I've found the ability to ignore my mind and just keep going until I got where I wanted to go.

So for what it’s worth … I hope that is worth something!

Just get up and go again, no matter what.

It’s really the only thing that works in any sphere of life.

Love yas A

PS. Meditation is so great - because it gives you the means to ignore the past, ignore your thoughts about the past and all the regrets and guilt that may contain …

And instead be completely present and alive to this moment, and all the possibilities it may contain for you.

Here's a little free guide on how to master your mind, simply:

www.arjunaishaya.com/freestuff

How you can master the negative, whiney, stressed part of your mind

There is a very wise man called Dan John. His specialty is training people to get strong (I guess - my specialty is not, so I’m not 100% sure). What I love is that as well as being into muscles, he’s a philosopher as well - he lectures in Religious Studies at a university level. I love soaking in the wisdom of wise people. The kind of people like Dan who you wished were your uncle or your neighbour, so you could hang out and get wise through just being close to them.

He said that there 3 things you need to do to get good at anything, anything at all - and this goes very well with mastering your mind. Why? Because it is the exact same process as learning any skill.

Are you ready? They are:

1. Show up - i.e. be consistent, no one is an overnight success at anything 2. Don’t quit - i.e. be stubborn enough to keep going until you get there 3. Ask questions - i.e. be courageous enough to risk looking silly and ask everything you have

And at the risk of ruining a wise man’s words by adding my own, I would throw in:

4. Enjoy the process -

i.e. it’s your choice whether you’re miserable or content, whether you’re so far ahead of yourself and lost in your future goal or whether you are present to each and every step along the way, whether you enjoy this moment or not where ever you find yourself.

What do you reckon about that? Keep everything that simple and you'll fly.

Go well! Arjuna

PS. And of course, if you’d like to learn what I use to master my mind, to keep the overwhelm, the nastiness, the worry away? This is what I recommend:

https://www.thebrightpath.com/course/first-sphere-mini-retreat-option-united-kingdom-richmond-north-yorkshire-0

PPS. I'm still travelling about in New Zealand, and having a lovely time thanks. Turns out these will be less frequent in coming, but rest assured I do still love, appreciate and respect you. If you need anything? If I can help? Please just drop me a line. Talk more soon.

The lesson in stress, in pain, in life

Someone just asked me if meditation and mindfulness could help a bad back. She was saying that she thinks it’s caused by stress. And it could well do. I won't make any promises but the thing is that your mind is at the core of everything you do. Stress and overwhelm and negativity sometimes means your body hurts. It's your body's way of telling you to slow down, to stay calm, to rest, to stop fighting.

Sometimes when you change your mind you can change your body. A lot of aches and pains and illness can leave. It’s really amazing to see, miraculous even.

Sometimes however the body has it's own wisdom and the aches and pains and illness still remain. That can be so frustrating when you're chasing healing. There is always a lesson in there though - and when you stop and listen it becomes becomes obvious. And it’s not until you truly stop and listen can you hear.

Sometimes that lesson is that you're ultimately not in control of so much, so focus on the things you are in control of - like your attitude, like being grateful for what you do have, being content.

You can focus on what you think is wrong - or you can focus on what is right at the moment. Sometimes that is the extent of the lesson - what you focus on grows. Stop resisting what is wrong and start appreciating what is good.

Anyways - stopping and tuning in always gives more clarity. Pushing and resenting and resisting always makes things worse.

Stopping - and regularly so - is very valuable. It makes all of your life super simple and straight forward. Need help with that, or don’t get what I’m saying? Please just ask - I’d love to help.

Go well! Arjuna

PS. Learning and practicing these "108 things" is a really sweet way of stopping and ending stress, gaining clarity and perspective, getting rested and recharged, and helping all of your life in so many ways: https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb

And they're free!

Indeed, NO is sometimes best

Last email was all about how any relationship transforms when you give to it. When you give first, you create the very real possibility of enjoying a rich, alive, fun relationship. I said to give and give and give.

And yet! Sometimes the most giving thing you can do is say “NO” … is not give.

“Wha?!"

I don’t say this to annoy you, but done from a foundation of giving and appreciation, saying no to someone is sometimes the greatest thing you can do.

I used to say YES to everyone and everything. I wondered why there was zero time for me and what I wanted to do. I started to resent people asking for things or advice. Starting to say no was a revelation to me, it really was.

Saying no, also for example, means you can make the time to sit down and meditate. This in turn means you can recharge and refresh, gain a million and one physical, emotional, mental and spiritual benefits and therefore run closer to 100% than 0% (like so many people do).

When you’re running on 100% everyone wins. You can give so much more, and in ways that mean you don’t start to resent anyone.

So sometimes saying NO means you can say YES so much more.

Interesting huh?

Now, there’s no rule book for this. Get present and you’ll find out when and where you might like to say NO more.

Go well! Arjuna

PS. More awareness, more presence in your life? You gain a kind of wisdom, a kind of intuition which means you know the best thing to do in each and every moment.

It’s really pretty cool once you start to experience it.

Here's a simple, and free way of getting all of this and more:

https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/houradaymindful/

There she was, just lying on the floor

Yesterday I came in from my pedicure to find Sumati lying on the floor. “What are you doing down there?” I enquired. “Just hanging out”, she groaned, as Bubba crawled all over her, like a huge fly - undeniable, trying to poke wooden blocks in Sumati’s ears, as young ones are fond of doing. Sumati looked lifeless, a fraction of her usual self, so I packed her off to bed and sent Bubba to the work house.

(Part of that last sentence was untrue, and simply for dramatic effect).

Sickness - when you just want to crawl into a little ball and hide from the world. Yup, this morning I was infected as well. Never been so ill as with this little germ carrier in the house.

Someone had to look after Bubs so I stepped up. Sat her down with some toys and then grabbed a cup of tea and the newspaper to curl up in.

This wasn’t enough - Bubba wanted attention. ALL of my attention, not just a cursory “whats up?” and a brick thrown at her. So I gave up my plan. Instead of getting irritated, I sat down with her and played. And she was delighted. And all was well.

A nice reminder - all any one wants is your attention, your presence. It’s the single greatest thing you can give to your loved ones. For you to BE with them.

Sure, you need your “me” time, but your life becomes instantly easier (and fun too) when you’re there for those who you said you want to be with.

Chances are you’re not.

You’re on your phone, texting your buddy or on facebook, flicking through … or, you’re in your head, thinking about today, thinking about tomorrow, thinking about where you’d like to be instead …

Get present - give fully of your attention and watch all your relationships transform. Notice when you get irritated, when you don’t want to give your attention. That’s an excellent invitation to look at your priorities.

Just do it - give it a whirl and see what happens. I think you’ll like it.

Go well! Arjuna

PS. Every part of your life gets smoother, easier, and more fun when you show up for it - not just your relationships.

If you’re ready for the greatest method of becoming effortlessly present, here is a 7 day challenge to become awesome at beating irritation and stress and getting to the one place you can live a life, now: https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/houradaymindful/

You always get to go again

The thing about a new year is making new commitments to do different stuff or indeed, do the same stuff differently. Right? Resolutions to get fit, learn that language, be a better mum or dad, wife or husband, try not to lose your temper or worry so much … The fact is you always are beginning again. No matter how great or how terrible you think you’re doing, you’re only as good as what you’re up to now.

Which is nice - you always get another chance. And this moment is the one place you can do anything about. You can have all the good intentions for the future, but this is it. This is where the rubber meets the road.

Forgiveness for past failings is a huge thing then. So many people cling to what they have done wrong, way past the event. The biggest thing you can do is learn and move on. So it went tits up? OK - so what next? Learn and move on.

The purpose of mindfulness and meditation then isn’t only to gain perfect peace and calm, one that is unruffled by challenge or stress.

It is to see where you can live bigger and be more free. It gives you the awareness to step into an even more expanded and chain free and content and effective life.

So you’re going to see places where you react or habits and negativity that you weren’t aware of before. You can be ashamed of these things, or you can use it as fuel to become bigger.

Thats a nice choice, isn’t it? Shame or a launch pad … what do you choose? Go again, always go again. Not only will you get there, you’ll keep going beyond what you thought life could be about. And that is very nice indeed.

I’m here to help too - let me know, I’d love to chat. Go well! Arjuna

PS. If you’re interested in getting really good at this stuff? Here's a free guide which will help you so much: https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb

The Rock for President?

Long time readers will know with how much affection I hold the Rock. I know he’s going by his more grown up name, now he’s a proper actor and all - but he’ll always be the Rock to me. The thing I love is that he looks like he’s having the time of his life. A real rags to riches story, now it seems like he takes nothing seriously, obviously working hard but enjoying all of it. He knows he’s not doing any fine acting, he’s just an entertainer, wanting to make people happy, helping them forget their troubles for a time or two.

Now - imagine my pleasure when I see that he is considering running for President of the US of A? If Reagan and Trump can do it, why not the Rock? Now wouldn’t that be fun? Perhaps.

Anyhow, the only point in this email is to remind you to have fun. Regardless of your goals and ambitions, whether life makes sense to you or not, whether you are struggling with something right now or not, see if you can’t enjoy what you have a little more. And why not?

No one else is going to do it for you. But all the worry and the struggle and the pushing and the drama … none of it is useful to get what you want. Survive the tough times you may have to, but at least stay reminded about what is most important to you. To you.

Ultimately happiness is not about what happens to you, but how you decide to respond to it. That, I believe, is the secret to a good life. Go well! Arjuna

PS. The more present and aware you are of this moment in time, the more able you are to create your own responses. This is very different from blindly reacting to life.

To get more present and aware, here’s a excellent little “training programme” for you. Super simple, super supportive, just super: https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/houradaymindful/ 

A life lesson that may have nothing to do with Thor

I am a very happy chappy right now. I’m a very happy chappy anyways, very content with my lot, but very shortly my ladies are leaving me in search of this thing called “London”.

This means two things: I can freely go to the cinema to see something mindlessly full - or is it mindfully less? Anyway, lookout Thor! Here I come.

Have you heard that joke? Thor’s riding his horse and is feeling rather pleased with himself; “I am Thor!” he yells.

At which is horse replies “well uthe a thaddle, thilly!”

And that is the clean version. Ahem.

The other thing is that I can head out kayaking all weekend if I wanna. The weather forecast is brilliant too, in that’s it’s all wet. Good stuff.

Which reminds me - a lesson for you, that kayaking taught me: Look where you want to go.

If you look at the rocks, you end up on them. If you look for the easy water, you’ll go there.

Profound huh? I thought so too.

OK - let me explain: You go where you put your attention. What you focus on, grows.

You focus on what could grow wrong, and that tends to be what happens. Focus on how much you don’t have, what is missing, what is lacking and that is what you get. Overwhelm and negativity and stress.

Focus on what is good, on what is right, on what you do have? Peace, confidence, optimism and enjoyment.

Now - it’s important you recognise what could go wrong, the reality of where you are now, but don’t dwell on it. Only a fool would kayak down a rapid without having a good look first. Once you’ve decided to go? Focus on what you need to do to get to the bottom safely and with a smile on your face.

I really hope that makes sense.

If it doesn’t make sense I really hope it entertained you. Because happiness and fun has to be the bottom line. Even hard work need not be a drudgery - it can be fun if you have the right attitude and focus on the right things.

What you focus on grows, your attitude makes all the difference. Let me know if I can help with something- Go well! Arjuna

PS. Adjusting your attitude is a simple matter of making a mindful, aware choice. Here’s a little practice that will help you be just that:

https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/houradaymindful/ 

Other people are hell?

Other people are one of the biggest challenges in life, aren't they? Pesky fellows never do what you want them to. And you may practice being mindful and aware. Being aware of when you start to get triggered and start blindly reacting so you can take the half step back and choose how you want to respond.

But other people are still the challenge still, aren’t they? Because they AREN’T that aware, and as someone was saying to me the other day, when they get the grumps, so you inevitably follow - even though you practice being calm.

Rats!

How do they do it? How do they suck you in? How do they destroy your calm?

The fact is that so many many of us have become so used to feeling how other people are feeling that we’re hooked in. It’s almost a survival mechanism - to try and calm the waters, make everyone else feel okay, because then, the thought goes, well then you can be happy.

Or, they react and are grumpy and snappy, and you - previously relaxed - get all het up too. Zero to Grrrr! in 2 seconds flat.

But what kind of happiness is dependent on someone else’s?

No kind of happiness.

You can't do much about other people's reactions and moods. You just can’t. So get good at un-entangling yourself from theirs. You don’t need them to be happy in order to be happy yourself. If they’re in a funk? By all means see if you can assist, but if they’re not interested or slow to respond, then so be it. No reason for you to follow suit. No reason to throw yourself in the pit too.

Don’t be attached to them being any particular way. Just keep practicing choosing to be present, and therefore content and calm, no matter what is going on around you.

Get good at that, and the fascinating thing you’ll find is when you disconnect (not in an uncaring way) but just staying unattached - calm and centred and good - in many cases they lose the motivation to be grumpy, simply because you're not playing.

Which is interesting isn’t it? Sometimes it takes two to tango. You no dance? There is no dance.

Me thinks you’ll have plenty of opportunity to practice what with all the social occasions this December. Plenty of practice is good!

Go well, Arjuna

PS. Here’s a great way of getting better at all of that, and what a wonderful thing that is!

https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/houradaymindful/ 

Get rid of that harsh inner voice

OK - negativity sucks, and especially when it comes from within your own head.

I know this for sure, because I’ve suffered from it, and I’ve talked to a lot of people about it - it doesn’t matter who you are and what you’ve achieved in the past, your own head is your worst, nastiest critic. Nothing is good enough.

There is nothing more demoralising, nothing more hard work than living with a mind that is telling you what a loser you are.

Sometimes you would not talk to a dog the way you talk to yourself. If you could hear your internal dialogue coming out of someone else’s mouth? You’d be shocked. And all for what?

Because you made a mistake? Because you slipped up? Because you want to do something better?

What to do about it?

Alrighty - I have a little challenge for you. Something I’ve been getting the guys in the mindfulness Facebook group to play with (click here to join), and I thought I’d tell you too.

24 hours long is the challenge. For these 24 hours you will:

Assume there is no wrong.

It'll require that you actively watch your mind for what it tells you. Simply reframe - there is no wrong, there is simply something you needed to learn. If so, what did you learn?

Great - draw a line under it, begin again. Hit the reset button.

Got it? Get going there, let me know if you have any questions.

Go well!

Arjuna

PS.

The answer is always at the bottom isn’t it?

Give the above a shot first, I want you to see something. Then come back to this …

You’re going to see that you can reframe anything. You can choose your attitude on everything that you do or that happens to you.

You don’t like it? OK - is this proof that you’ve got it wrong, AGAIN? Or can you focus on what you have learnt? What you will do differently?

Completely different approach, completely different inner “sense” isn’t it? One is harming and draining, the other supporting and encouraging - and all through your choice.

Good work - keep choosing!

PPS.

Want the low down on the mindfulness awareness challenge, complete with Facebook page where I set homework like this?

https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/houradaymindful/

You choose hell or heaven for yourself

I get a lot of emails, which I love. I've just sat with my cup of tea and gone through them.

I love being of service, I mean, I took vows of service as an Ishaya AND I really love helping people who want to do things differently - which is handy, isn’t it?

I love sharing my experience of the choices that mean you have peace and calm in your life, and equally those choices that mean you have stress, overwhelm, negativity - pain.

For me it all comes down to ONE thing. And this one thing is this:

Heaven and hell is all your choice.

Realising how you do that to yourself is an incredible moment. A real "aha!" and a chance to move forward, a chance to do something differently - IF you're willing.

When you take that half step back you can see this clearer and sooner. When you’re rushing, when you’re so involved in the troubles of life, when you’re IN the drama you can’t see this so well.

One of the best pieces of advice I ever got?

Slow down a touch. Take regular moments to get your perspective and your baseline back. Nothing is lost through regular recalibration, everything is gained.

The ability to see where you create hell or heaven for yourself is such a wonderful gift. After all, life isn’t so much about the circumstances, but how you deal with these circumstances.

You can’t control everything. Sometimes, often times, you’re just thrown a wobbly one and left to get on and deal with it.

Your ability to choose your attitude, choose which thoughts you listen to and which you ignore, choose to be wrapped up in a past or a future you have no control over or be present …

All these things are priceless in not only getting what you want from life, but enjoying each and every step along the way.

Each and every step.

It all begins now. All of life is crystallised into right now. This is it. Such a joy because you - if you allow yourself - get to start again, fresh, over and over. A restart.

Go well, make it about what you can do, now.

Arjuna

PS.

If you're interested in this sort of thing, you might really like a free guide I wrote - 108 ways you can remember your choice for calm, your choice for peace, your choice for freedom.

Here it is if you'd like a copy:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb

Life is NOT a journey

On A Journey?

Someone once said that Life like climbing a mountain.

You’re on a journey from one state of being to another. Progressing, getting, heading forth, getting better - at stuff and things. Schooling yourself.

If they didn’t say that, well, they should have. If they didn’t say that then I’m saying it - and you can quote me.

That’s what it feels like doesn’t it?

Climbing up this mountain, and it’s hard going some days. You slip up, you feel like you fall back and lose that precious ground.

(I did a video on facebook, if you'd rather watch:

https://business.facebook.com/MrArjunaIshaya/videos/1645074938868946/

Demoralising

Sometimes you get so demoralised with the slipping, falling back into old habits you just give up.

“What’s the point?!”

“I’m never going to get there anyway!” as you throw away your intention, your vision for your life, for someday getting to the place you want to be, to finally being the person you want to become.

I want you to consider something though.

Not Up or Down, Balancing

Progressing in life is actually more like Buddha said - a razors edge.

Ooh! Sounds dramatic doesn’t it? But it’s this balancing act where your goal is to stay on balance. You fall off, of course you fall off, but what do you do? Just get back on.

You haven’t lost anything. You haven’t declined, this isn’t a game of snakes and ladders - you just fell off. You just forgot. You fell asleep.

Now you’re awake. Jump back on! Consistency you see. Get back on and do the things that you know you need to do.

You’ll stay there longer and longer and longer AND the things that make you fall off just get more and more obvious. You begin to master that fluid simple effortless focus of staying on until one day you find you’re staying on much much more than you’re falling off.

All because you simply jumped back on.

Melting Away

Being free of stress, negativity, limitation, and all your habits that you’re not proud of? The thing is it's not even a balancing act.

It’s a hot bath. And the small you, the ego, your limited beliefs and patterns are like an ice cube.

Being present and mindful - humour me and do it right now. Give yourself completely to now - if you do it fully, it's like slipping into a hot comfortable bath where it needs nothing else. All is well, right here. Right?

Here in the Now bath your limitations melt away, so simply, so effortlessly - just by you staying in the bath. That's where transformation comes about, just from soaking in the bath.

Not thinking about how you were going to do it, just by being in it.

Just Jump Back In

Through habit you jump out of the bath. In the beginning, a lot. No deal! You feel asleep.

Now you’re awake - jump back in to the one place that really satisfies, and the one place stress, drama, negativity can’t exist, and where everything you don’t need melts away - where you transform.

Keep it that simple.

The more you jump back in? The more you realise just how pleasant this bath is. It never gets cold. It always has your favourite rubber ducky.

Jump in and relax. The Now bath will take care of everything for you, in the right time. Nothing to get, nowhere to go.

Go well!

Arjuna

PS.

Too long, didn’t read?

Life is a bath of now. Stay in the bath. Realise you’re out of the bath? Get back in!

Here's a 108 ways so you make getting in the bath and stay in. It's FREE too:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb

Hearing voices in your head?

Are you aware that you have voices in your head, that you talk to, all the time??

If you, on reading that sentence, thought,

“What a load of rubbish, I don’t have any voices, I don’t talk to myself” -

That’s exactly what I’m talking about.

Talking to yourself is nothing to be ashamed of; it doesn’t mean you are crazy (well, not much).

The fact is everyone does it all the time.

The fact is you have a team of consultants and cheerleaders and doubters and naysayers and geniuses and village idiots in your head.

No deal.

However: In terms of peace of mind, freedom from stress, and living 200% of life, you need to be aware of what the voices in your head are telling you.

When you aren’t aware, you have no choice.

You follow and do and feel and react according to whatever voice is there.

You’ve lived so close to these voices in your head for so long it seems like there is no option -

you automatically follow what they say.

It’s one result when you go with the voice that says “I’m hungry”,

Completely another path when you believe the voice that states “I can’t” or “I’m stupid”.

Perhaps even more insidious is the voice that commands “I should”.

In awareness you have choice.

When you are aware of these voices in your head, you have options.

Previously, you heard the voice and automatically went with it.

In awareness, life stops being a series of reactive “what you have always done” habits and starts being based on creative choices –

You start consciously living your life.

You become aware of restrictive or limiting patterns and habits and can make other decisions.

Choice is the key word, always.

Choice does not require effort.

Nor does it require your mind to shut up or go away.

Good news!

Because shutting your head up is very hard work.

Much easier to be aware and take a half step back from your voices,

Then you can see what else there is beyond your thoughts.

That’s when life starts to get really cool.

So give that a shot.

Meditate. Be mindful. And what a fascinating journey of discovery life becomes.

Go well!

Arjuna

PS.

Want a FREE guide to getting more mindful and aware of your voices?

Here you go:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb

Be Responsible or Be Free?

You may be aware that I love kayaking.

It is one of my favourite things to do in the whole wide world.

When I was a young fella I could pretty much go kayaking as much as I liked.

Being single or flexibly attached there was no one telling me I had to stay at home,

How wonderful.

Fast forward a few years and I find myself attached.

Sumati, the mega-awesome wife -

And Bubba, the little helpless creature that must be entertained and looked after.

Attached and with Responsibilities with a capital R.

Last night I was casually looking at the river flows on the internet,

My local river was at the perfect level.

Perfect - and it hasn’t been perfect for months now.

Given that I've been working all day long,

A nice reward would be to head out for a couple or three hours and kayak the evening away.

But -

There’s always a but isn’t there?

Bubba is teething and cranky and Sumati, by the end of the day, has had enough.

I can’t run off. I can’t just do what I want to do. I need to be Responsible.

Now - here is the point:

I can choose to resent my Responsibilities.

“Life was so much better when I was young and carefree …”

(I hear some of you say that too, so I know I’m not the only one with that thought)

“That time when I could do exactly what I wanted …”

(Which is a lie, you’ve rarely been able to exactly what you’ve wanted to.

The golden wave of nostalgia gives you selective memory as there’s ALWAYS been a tradeoff,

there’s always been some responsibilities - even if  they have a small “r”).

Or …

I can realise that my Responsibilities are there because I CHOSE them.

My choices in the past have led me right here to this moment in time.

I can get all pouty and grumpy and try and blame my lovely wife and daughter for ruining my freedom …

Or I can simply accept that life is different now.

And I chose it. No one else.

Instead of trying to maintain a nostalgic vision of a past version of me,

I can crack on and enjoy what I do actually have,

Who I am now.

Of course you can always backtrack,

Make different choices so you’re living that life without Responsibilities.

If you wish …

But freedom never exists externally.

Never.

You will always find a trade off.

I had a job as an outdoor instructor because that was my love, and I thought getting paid to do what I loved was an excellent idea.

Because of my poor attitude at the time all that happened was that my hobby and my passion became work.

I resented going kayaking because I wasn’t free to do what I wanted.

You see how it works?

Freedom is an internal state of being.

It stems from fluidity, from acceptance and allowance.

It’s not in resistance or resentment.

It gives you the conscious making of choices.

The best thing to gain internal freedom despite the circumstances of your life?

Meditation, specifically the form I teach and practice -

The Bright Path Ishayas’ Ascension.

Meditation at it’s simplest, most powerful, relaxing and enjoyable.

If you think stepping up into true freedom sounds like a good idea?

Head this way to get your FREE guide to doing and being just that:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb

Go well!

Arjuna

PS.

I know some of you are advanced meditators.

You do this a lot, every day even.

But you have to start bringing that conscious awareness you get from meditation into each and every moment.

Then your meditation practice starts to really fast track your life.

And that’s exactly what I teach you to do:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb

Overwhelming tasty tasty crisp desire

I like crisps.

More than any other snack -

Even sweet and salty popcorn,

Which is pretty darn tooting tasty.

And which I do get possessed over,

Grabbing handfuls and throwing into my face like some deranged Cookie Monster,

Elbowing everyone else out the way like a horde of senior citizens swarming a tea shop as tasty, tasty goodness fires up my taste buds.

(I was once run over in a tea shop by a bus load of seniors. A story for another day)

I could eat bags and bags of crisps and never stop.

Habits -

We all have things that we love to overindulge

Things we wished we didn’t do so much of, or at all

Things we wish we could change about ourselves.

Am I right?

Yes, I am right.

I am aware of my crisp addiction.

If there is an open bowl, I know I have to maintain the “half a step back” …

That sense of perspective and long term clarity to know I need to tread carefully and choose carefully.

So I don’t stick my face into the bowl and inhale every last one.

And then feel a little sick.

And remorseful.

And Sumati is angry with me cos I’ve snarfed all the crispy loveliness, again.

Resulting in: “I wish I hadn’t done that, again.”

Half a step back means I get perspective and clarity, and a foot on the brake.

You know it - for example,

When that anger comes?

And you’re able to take a half step back and not fly off the handle,

But deal with the thing in a reasonable manner?

Feels good, doesn’t it?

As opposed to losing it and then regretting it later.

Doesn’t feel good.

So: Common question I get:

How do I take a half step back and make the right choice when my habits come along?

Well, a question for you:

How to get good at, say, playing the guitar in the future?

Answer:

You have to practice now to get good then.

The practice?

Half step backs now.

Learn to detach from your head now while the going is good,

So when you’re challenged, it’s easier and simpler.

Exercise choice now so you can choose to form the habits you want.

So your habits don’t run you.

You run your habits.

OK?

That's what a free life is all about.

Giving you the tools and the guidelines so you have very real, very free CHOICE.

To do the things that you want to do, rather than being ruled by your habits.

Get my FREE guide and I'll tell you how:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb/

Go well!

Arjuna

PS.

Addictions and habits and beliefs?

They can be changed, simply.

Honest!

If you want to know how, hit me up, I’ll tell ye.

Or this will do the trick:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb/

The END of boredom?

You ever had a most amazing experience?

Or even “just” a really cool one?

Of course you have -

(If you can't remember one, but would LIKE to have one or more - hang on in there and I'll explain ...)

Those moments when you were alive, so full of presence, so immersed in what was happening,

You forgot all your worries and dramas just for a moment (or two)

Super content, super satisfied - you were so far from dissatisfaction there didn’t exist any such thing as dissatisfied …

Yes.

Me too.

I would find those times a lot in nature -

Snowboarding down a steep, wild, powder slope.

Walking back up and doing it all over again, and again.

Kayaking some mad river that took a helicopter to get into -

And it seemed like I knew what the water would do half a second before it happened.

Wowsers!

Such aliveness and ease and fun …

You know?

You’ll have these moments, these fond memories -

Maybe they’re something wild and intense,

BUT sometimes they’re not.

What used to blow me away about these experiences,

What used to CONFUSE me about them -

Is that sometimes I would feel SO happy and complete JUST doing the dishes …

(And I really used to dislike doing the dishes)

How could these moments be wild and intense,

But ALSO pop up when doing something as mundane as housework??

Learning to Ascend, I now know why.

The core thing is not WHAT you are doing, but HOW you do it.

^^^^^

The more present, the more absorbed in the task in front of you?

The less you use it as a chance to think about something else?

The less you wish you could be doing something, anything else?

The more likely it is to be completely satisfying …

Totally Alive,

With total contentment.

The end of boredom is right there.

^^^^

And it all stems from a choice.

Your choice to show up to what you are doing.

Fill your life with memorable moments -

Notice when your head wants to take you away from what is right in front of you,

And instead be presence itself.

The end of boredom, the end of drudgery -

It all lies in your hands.

Want that?

Sure you do!

Who wouldn’t!

This is the way to getting it, and it's FREE for you to download:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb/

Go well

Arjuna

PS.

Just tell that to your teenagers next time they tell you they’re bored

heh heh. 

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb/

Meditation isn't about staying angry

Had a lovely talk the other night - in a railway carriage of all places.

Super cool people, and a very good question from someone - 

All about mindfulness and feelings.

Now you might be aware that mindfulness is going off at the moment.

It’s the new yoga - 

Promising to help in every part of your life.

The NHS is getting on board,

Gym trainers doing it after their circuit classes,

Celebs like Katy Perry are giving it props,

Headspace and Insight Timer are some of the most popular apps out there, and are an excellent introduction,

But.

(There’s always a but isn’t there…?)

I’m not sure if it’s the way it’s been taught

Or just people getting confused

But I certainly hear some weird things.

This lady used to think - and she’s not the first -

That being mindful is all about being aware and feeling your feelings.

So if you’re annoyed, you feel your annoyance, and that’s the way it is.

If you’re sad, you feel your sadness, and that’s the way it is.

If you’re anxious, you feel your anxiety, and that’s the way it is.

Noticing you’re feeling a certain thing is a great first step -

However, after that you can CHOOSE to not be annoyed or sad or anxious - 

To take a half step back and be free of it.

You don’t have to be stuck with something you don’t like.

You can CHOOSE to change your attention on the thoughts that are with the emotion.

Then it can flow through and be gone super quick,

As opposed to telling yourself the same story and keeping the emotion in place - for days sometimes.

The sooner you notice, the easier it is, for sure …

The more you practice, the better you get, for sure …

But it is quite simple to go beyond being consumed and taken over by anything.

Mindfulness and awareness isn’t just the acceptance of feeling any old way.

It’s not about rolling over and giving up - 

The next essential step is to choose to put your attention on something else.

Emotions, feelings, and the thought labels that define them are just a small part of the big picture.

Learning to identify and rest in your own presence,

The source of your own awareness,

The field of infinite stillness beyond everything else,

Means you aren’t just left feeling angry or frustrated or sad.

OK?

That there changed my life, truly.

Give it a go, and let me know if you have any questions.

I have a free download if you want ideas on how to be really present and free of stress and struggle and intense emotion.

Head this way to get a copy:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb

Have a great day!

Arjuna

PS.

You are in charge of what you feel.

No one makes you feel anything.

You - through habit - choose to get involved and feel that way.

Since it’s a habit, you can make a new habit.

You CAN do it - but you have to begin!