How about a four day work week for you?

I see a business recently introduced a four day work week (for five day's pay) across the board for all their employees. Before the six-month trial, just over 50% said they were balancing work and life demands. During the 4 day work week it jumped up to 78%. Stress dropped, commitment and productivity increased.

It’s kinda obvious though, isn’t it?

Less time at work means you can do the things you want to do at home. Being paid to work five days when you work four means the financials are the same, you just have more space.

The question that came for me is, “Would you work less for less stress and way better work-life balance but also less money??”

Would you?

Would you quit that job in the city with the hour commute each way for a lesser paid job that meant when you got home you could actually see your kids rather than them be in bed, asleep?

Would you refuse to answer emails and work calls outside of business hours so you could fully and completely be with your family and loved ones in the evenings, as opposed to constantly being at work even when you’re at home?

What's your "Would you?" ... ?

The next question then is, when is it going to stop?

So many people I know talk about when, as in I’ll do something different “when and then” … when I pay off my debts then …, when I get that promotion then …, when I then I … humans in general live a life of when.

Tomorrow never comes does it? Your goal posts always shift. Which means “then” never happens. Sometimes you have to make when and then now … if you truly want it to happen.

I have no easy answers on this one, no simple follow your heart advice. I know what it’s like to have to work to get cash to pay the bills and then get back to work again because the bills aren’t stopping.

But I also know what it’s like to feel I have to work a job and/or conform to a particular working culture because there are no other options – when in reality, there are plenty of options, I’m just too scared to take them.

I also know contentment and space and peace and enjoyment and balance is worth more than any money.

Changing your life situations is sometimes necessary, but also changing your attitude is just the ticket.

Being present, not focusing on all the things you have to do and getting overwhelmed, is key. Stopping to smell the roses and appreciating all the things you do have instead of constantly chasing the next thing is also a huge part of it.

Working out what is truly important to you – to you – what you’re prepared to do and not do, is another chunk of it. Then you know when it’s time to say NO to one thing so you can say YES to everything else.

So often it appears as if there is no alternative. ut there always is. There always is. It’s just that it’s sometimes unknown – and that can be a little scary. Jumping in a taking a small step into the unknown is worth everything though. And you can always go back!

Go well! Arjuna

PS. I guess what I’m saying is examining your life, your attitudes, your ways of doing things is such a great idea. Taking time, regularly, to see if your life is happening the way you want it to is super valuable.

No one wants to be caught on a hamster wheel, but if you live unconsciously that certainly seems to happen, and quickly.

So stop – take stock. Talk about these things with your loved ones. It might be the most important change you make, and let me know how it goes for you.

PPS.

My six month coaching transformation programme “200% of life” is starting up.

If you want to transform your relationship with your mind and all aspects of your life, to have focus, fun and freedom (and never again bewildered, miserable and stuck) then this is for you.

Get in touch and I’ll give you more details!

Perfectionism, scared of “wrong,” mistakes and failure … advice from the top

If you’re at all interested in the goings on of a tiny nation at the bottom of the world called New Zealand, like I am, you will know that the Prime Minister gave birth recently. How she runs a country and looks after a baby I know not. My hat is well and truly doffed to her. She must have some kind of superpower that I don’t possess. And a husband that is well and truly “in” and helping out.

I read an interview with said husband, a bloke (don't worry – all men in NZ are “blokes”) whose face in pictures is something to behold as he hobnobs with world leaders. He’s like a kid who expects to be discovered at any moment and kicked out, crossed with sheer awe how he managed to gain entrance in the first place. Then there’s the one where he’s with the rest of the leaders’ significant others, a man in a sea of women. Wonderful.

He was talking about favourite pieces of parenting advice... now, mine is don’t listen to any advice (which, ironically, is superb advice), but second best came from this interview.

Apparently while hobnobbing with the Obamas, Barack told him his secret to parenting (and presumably running a country?) is to not panic, and it’s ok to make mistakes.

Isn’t that cool?

The fact is, and this coincides nicely with an article in the paper the other morning …

(https://www.theguardian.com/society/2018/jul/17/my-brain-feels-like-its-been-punched-the-intolerable-rise-of-perfectionism)

… that talks about the rise of perfectionism and the crushing pressure it puts an increasing number of people under.

To me? Perhaps it's more to it than this, I am no psychologist (I can barely spell the word), but perfectionism is just another aspect of being afraid of making mistakes, afraid of failure.

A healthy concern for not messing up is a good thing me thinks … But if you, like me, have experienced being terrified of making any decision in case it’s the “wrong” one, or falling on my face in front of an audience of people, you will realise how de-habilitating being scared of mistakes is.

You’d rather hide and do nothing than put yourself in the way of “wrong” or “failure.”

But that’s not a life is it? I’ve learnt you have to get comfortable with the fact that you will make mistakes. In doing anything, you will mess up.

Here’s where YOUR choice comes in:

You can have the attitude that a mistake is further evidence of the end of the world, of your failure and your uselessness … or you can use it as a platform to get better, to improve, to learn from.

One is a downward spiralling mess of an attitude, the other gives you peace now, and firm ground for the future.

How do you change your attitude? Just through practice and presence. Through being aware of your mind and how it will always throw up these perfectionisms and expectations and ideas and insistences and shoulds.

When you are aware of them you have choice, you can ignore them and do something different. But being aware of them is a most excellent thing. You may not like that, I understand that, but without awareness it’s like trying to play tennis against an invisible opponent … almost impossible.

Through awareness you get to see your opponent and learn their wiley ways. A great thing – I get this might not be a comfortable thing, especially if your habit is to try and hide in some aspects of your life.

Knowing your own mind and being able to direct it where you wish is the key to a peaceful and effective life. Closing your eyes and being able to develop freedom of choice is essential.

Meditation then is one of the most important things you can regularly do. You’re not dropping out, you’re actually tuning in to the fullest degree.

Go well! Arjuna

PS. My new baby, a six month mind transformation programme (which I don’t have a name for yet) is due to be launched in the near future.

To be honest, I’m still sorting out details.

But it involves working closely with me over a long period of time and discovering how to transcend the limitations and judgements of your mind.

I went with six months because alongside guidance from me, time spent at the “coal face” practicing awareness and choice is essential. I wish I could give you a magic pill, but I can’t (and even those have un-wanted side effects). I can guide you, but you have to do the simple, and enjoyable, “work.”

If you’re interested?

Just hit reply and I’ll let you know all the details as soon as possible.

The shackles of perfectionism

Oh my goodness - There is so much stuff out there in the interweb that seems to sell perfectionism, isn’t there? I was sitting down over the weekend with a bunch of ladies that came to a meditation and mindfulness workshop I was doing and was reminded of that.

One of the conversations was about instagram and facebook and how there are sooooo many seemingly perfect people on there, selling perfect bodies, perfect families, perfect jobs, perfect food, perfect everything.

Seeing that, even as a casual observer, it can be so easy to feel “less than” - that you’re somehow failing because your life isn’t like those you see around you.

But the fact is it's mostly a front, a great illusion presented for likes and popularity and business.

It can also be so easy to be really hard on yourself when you focus on all those things you think you did wrong - and your mind is excellent at that, by the way. It will focus on the 30 minutes of your day that was a nightmare and completely forget how great you were and how straightforward the day was for the other 23 hours and 30 minutes.

Our minds focus on what is wrong with us so easily, and it causes regret and guilt and a whole world of blah and self-violence.

So I say give up perfectionism, and comparison too. Throw it away. Give it a big kick.

That you’re still reading this means you want to be better —and that is all that counts.

You want to learn skills to be more calm and less reactive. To get that half-step back from what you’ve done, from what you’ve think you’ve done.

You want to be reminded that you are MORE than enough. You are down-right amazing, actually - it’s just you are always the last to see it.

So give yourself a break. Give yourself a pat on that back.

You are already better just wanting to be better.

You are already better just knowing that you are a little harsh, that you react sometimes.

True. Without seeing that habit, you have no choice, you can't do anything about it. So do give yourself that pat on the back, you're already well on the way to beating that voice.

So, when you notice that critical voice coming up, know that you’re leaving it behind. No matter how many times it comes, bring your attention to something else. The breath, deep into your belly, slowly exhaling out. The Ascension Attitudes are genius too at breaking that habit of perfectionism and self-violence.

Don’t let that voice win, with consistency you will be better.

You ARE more than enough, and there’s even more to come.

How wonderful!

If I can help? Please just ask.

Go well today, have a great day! Arjuna

PS. Giving up my own voice of perfectionism and over the top criticism has been quite a journey, it really has.

“I will get better” was/is an amazing attitude to take about all of life. Then you never give up.

Here’s some free tools that I put together for you:

www.arjunaishaya.com/freestuff

Needing attention?

Once upon a time I met a very very wise yoga teacher. He seemed different from all the others I had met simply because he seemed like he had nothing to prove. In an age of celebrity everyones, all the self-promotion on Instagram and Facebook and the rest, it seemed like he could care less about any of that.

He wasn’t a show off, he was just content to teach and be of service and be himself. He just loved teaching and helping, and yoga itself.

He didn’t need anyone’s adoration, he needn’t need much actually.

It’s kind of magnetic when someone doesn’t need anything from you, isn’t it? You just want to hang around them more, ironically.

But if you have young ones around you, teaching them to navigate this is so important, isn’t it?

They get so wrapped up with social media and what other people think of them, everything depends on that. Well, I’m guessing that’s the case, although I did read a study that said it was the case. I was like that for a long time into adulthood and I didn’t even have social media growing up. I just had a cardboard box. We knew how to make our own fun, by crikey!

But all this?

It begins with you. It doesn’t require you to do anything, beyond freeing yourself from the exact same thing:

Finding happiness and security within yourself first and foremost. Freeing yourself from needing anything from anyone - enjoying people but not being chained to them.

Then you are a living example of peace and acceptance for them. So they always have that kind of anchor to come home to, to connect with. So no matter how tough their heads get, they have you.

Makes sense? Working on yourself means you can make the biggest impact on the whole world.

Go well! Arjuna

PS. Here's a practice for freeing yourself of needing anything - and enjoying everything - can be found here (and it's free):

www.arjunaishaya.com/freestuff

They said I laughed too much

Have you ever been criticised for laughing too much? I know, there are some times that just aren’t appropriate for sniggering like a school kid at the back of the class.

But I really thought it WAS ok to let go a little and, well, chuckle.

( Just like this young lady above, laughing it up with a big simian. I guess you had to be there to get the joke, huh?) You see, and I forgot about it until someone reminded me, a while back I was messing around with recording some talks and a guided meditation for a meditation timer app called Insight Timer.

Insight Timer is super cool - you get stars for when you regularly do a session. Everyone loves stars!

So I’m talking about meditation and awareness and mindfulness and how we get stressed and overwhelmed and negative and what you can do about it. And the whole thing really is a little humorous because we do some daft things in our own heads, believing weird stuff and getting involved in imaginary conversations with imaginary voices, and all the rest of it.

At least I do — and to me that is a cause for a little giggle. A chuckle. Some mirth.

Some of the reviews said it wasn’t a laughing matter, however. And I see it’s ruined my average review rating which, given the nature of this email, I shouldn’t really be grumpy about. Ha!

Taking yourself seriously however seems to be rampant in the world. I can understand when you’re tuning into a guided meditation (as opposed to a talk) and you’re trying real hard to relax and zone out (maybe the trying was the problem?) … but still, a little humour goes a long way.

Can you laugh at yourself?

Imagine all the times when you get stressed, if instead — and you might well have done this before — you just chuckled? Instead of taking offence and wanting to prove yourself right, you giggled, and let it be? It's really good revenge when someone says something that's off to you, and you just giggle. Tee hee ...

I know - easier to say and harder to do, but it IS something you can practice.

Taking things seriously just means you’re attached to a certain result. You're fixed on your plan, and your plan only. You want something to happen in a certain way. You have expectations that are unmovable. You want to be right, you’re insisting on this or that. You have no flexibility. You, grasshopper, are like the rigid oak that snaps in the storm, and unlike the bamboo that bends and bounces back.

And then life gets tough.

So as my Bright Path Ishayas’ Ascension meditation teacher suggests, why don’t you try taking things a touch less seriously today than you did yesterday? Try and prioritise your levels of calm and happiness first.

Just a touch more that yesterday … and see what happens.

Alrighty? Let me know.

Go well! Arjuna

PS. If you want to have a listen then go right ahead. Download the Insight Timer app and search for me. Just know that there is only one guided meditation — where I am super serious and I have my soft and silky guided mediation voice on. It's called “Noticing Now” I believe. The others are talks for your education and entertainment. And may involve me sniggering to myself.

I’m not sure of the quality so excuse that. I was messing around and now I’m reminded I’ll do more.

PPS. While you’re there, if you want, join the Bright Path Ishayas’ Ascension group. You DO NOT have needed to learn, but I post a weekly homework topic there which sometimes I write and sometimes other people write. It may well inspire you and/or give you something to play with during the week.

PPS. Guided meditations are wonderful. However, if you want to cut the cord and get really independent with this — and it can be soooooo simple — it’s worth while learning some techniques.

Here’s a free guide to what you need to know:

www.arjunaishaya.com/freestuff

How to be truly stylish

How many stylish individuals do you know? The style I’m talking about is found in the free agents. The ones who have that sense of “nothing to prove, nothing to hide”. They’re not busting their buns trying to be noticed, or trying to be something for someone … they’re just content in who they are. _______

"Style is knowing who you are, what you want to say, and not giving a damn” - Gore Vidal _______

Style is not letting anyone define your life for you.

What a powerful thing, style, isn’t it? I bet you’ve had those times when you just feel settled. Content. Comfortable in your own skin. Self-contained. There’s an inner sense of “ahhhhhh”. There isn’t even a sense of not giving a damn, you’re just free to live.

This kind of style is a skill you can obtain.

It requires perseverance but no strain. It requires awareness and returning to the present moment. It requires seeing all those self-critical and harsh judgements and condemnations that go through your skull and being indifferent to them. It requires being willing to actively praise and be grateful for your life and for others; it requires an end to gossip.

But you can possess that self-possessed style of being free to exist however you wish. You can. Anything else is just a habit and you can create a new habit.

Start now!

Let me know if you have a question? Or I can help with anything at all.

Go well! Arjuna

PS. A good practice to gather style can be found right here for you: https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/houradaymindful/ 

Two (ex) friends shouting at each other in the street

I was waiting for Sumati just this morning, as I am prone to do.

Sitting on the street corner, nonchalantly - with nonchalance.

Do you ever do that?

When you read a word over and over so it becomes ridiculous? A non-word?

But, there I was … waiting.

Exciting, I know, but there is a good point to all this.

I happened to overhear a rather loud and animated discussion between two (perhaps quickly becoming ex-) friends.

“But you SHOULD know …!”

Ahh … expectations.

The curse of any relationship.

The curse that you place upon yourself.

When you expect you set yourself up for a disaster.

Expectations are rarely discussed, are they?

You never make them clear -

So how can the other party know what you want of them?

Clarity is so important, indeed.

First place to start. Second thing is this:

Expectations and your peace are poles apart.

You see - all expectations mean you’re looking for something precisely.

When does life give you precisely what you want?

Rarely, indeed.

Therefore insisting on an exact experience is always going to cause you misery, at some stage.

Expectations mean you are looking through a filter of “what should be”,

Rather than simply and innocently taking in what actually is happening.

Take meditation and mindfulness -

You expect something to happen, and everything EXCEPT what you expect happens.

Right?

So you throw it all away, because meditation and mindfulness “doesn’t work”.

It does work, it’s just that no one took the time to sit you down and tell you what to expect.

You’re so focussed on what should be happening,

You miss what is actually happening.

And that there is the beauty of meditation -

It allows you to engage with life AS IT IS …

In all its weird perfection,

Not as you insist it should be.

Which is about as much fun as banging your head against a wall.

Moral of the story?

If you want an end to struggle and stress and self-inflicted pain -

And have easy, clear relationships while living freshly, without preconceptions:

Throw away your expectations.

The faster you do it, the faster you will become more effective in, and enjoy all of, your life.

Job done!

Go well,

Arjuna

PS.

If you want to overcome expectations,

To live “innocently” - which has nothing to do with naivety, and everything to do with Aliveness.

To learn how you can practically be more mindful ...

Here's a free guide so you can do just that:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb

You're probably making the same mistake I did

When I first really started meditation, I was in my twenties.

I’d climbed mountains, kayaked some wild rivers, I'd fallen fully in love (several times), I’d taken various recreational drugs.

I’d experienced some real highs in life -

(And equally, like many people, I’d experienced some real lows).

I turned up to meditation with a head full of ideas about what life would be like -

Once I found the magic key.

I was wrong -

I was wrong about so many things, and while I hated being wrong then - it now causes me great humour.

But this time, what I thought I wanted from life - wasn't that at all.

What’s more my expectations meant I caused myself a lot of unnecessary struggle.

So if you can avoid this trap - that would make me happy.

Take a moment - and for you, honestly:

What do you want from life?

Is it to live in blissed out peace, chatting with butterflies? Floating from the ceiling and sending out love to the cosmos?

Or is it more like …

Ending stress, ending suffering, being happier with more balance and more energy?

Being really authentic and real, “here I am with nothing to prove and nothing to hide to no body”?

Maybe it’s to be able to be fully content in the world and not be too shaken when “stuff” happens?

Or to get a few things done without turning into a stressed out grumpster, your mind whirring away, unable to sleep?

Is it to love your family completely but not worry so much about them?

It’s not about the mega highs that you can get -

The feelings, the bliss, the visuals,

It's not even about stopping your thoughts.

Rather, it's about simple contentment.

Quiet joy.

The end - I say again, the END - of fear and self-doubt.

Being present and connected to the things and the people in front of you.

Freedom from being triggered and flying off the handle.

Complete love and compassion and acceptance and allowance for everyone - and yourself.

The real treasure that meditation brings to you is the simple things.

Because not only are they ACTUALLY achievable by ANYONE who wants them -

They’re lasting.

Every single moment of every single day lived freely.

Once found, they are permanent - because they are the simple things.

And that’s what I guide people to when they come and learn Ascension.

Sound good?

It’s truly simple when you know how.

How do you get started?

Getting this free guide is an excellent place:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb

Go well, and make yours a wonderful weekend.

Arjuna

PS.

Keep it so simple, OK?

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb

And - 

Should you have any questions?

I’d love to help.

Just hit me up - you can try it. I really am here to serve.