Not Doing It Right

There can be so much thinking “I’m doing life all wrong” And if you have kids it can lead to much guilt -

Because now not only are you messing up your life, but your kids as well …

This man recently talked about it beautifully:

Harry, Prince Harry - the UK royal that looks like he’s having a great time

The one who is blessed with a full head of hair

(Before you get on my case for getting on William’s case, I am fully aware of the irony of a bald man teasing another) But Harry has recently talked about mental health and specifically his own in the wake of his mum’s death.

Not an ordinary death in the family, no way …

Something he said really sparked this little chat we’re having.

He said when you look around,

It seems like everyone else’s life is perfect.

Especially in this age of selfies and instagram and tweaking images with photoshopping all the rest of that …

When your life seems a little tough, or doesn’t seem to be perfect, it can be easy to think,

“There’s something wrong with me”

And it’s so true.

There is so much pressure to get it right

It leads to anxiety and depression and worry and overwhelm and good old guilt.

All due to comparison.

And as Theodore Roosevelt once said,

“Comparison is the thief of joy.”

Comparison with other people,

Comparison with some standards you should be living up to,

Comparison with some former version of yourself perhaps.

True, huh?

Sumati reports that stepping into being a mother has just sent that through the roof.

She’s getting to know some mums and they’re all trying to get it right

So conversations all seem to be about how good their bubba is doing

And it’s all just masking a not knowing,

A scramble to be getting it right.

And no wonder.

I know the mental habit of thinking particularly well.

When I was a young fella I looked around and it seemed like everyone else had life sorted.

I had no idea, at least I THOUGHT I had no idea.

But what I was trying to do was find by observing other people a way of living that I could fit into

Something I could conform to -

A ready made life cut out …

If that makes any sense at all.

What I should have been looking for instead -

Was investigating how I myself wanted and needed to live.

Giving up trying to get it right, and comparison,

And just doing it.

My life, without apologies.

It comes down to a kind of quiet confidence, doesn’t it?

Not an “alpha dominate the room” type proving yourself confidence,

That’s crazy.

Just an ignoring of those thoughts that say “something is wrong with me”

I found that the way forward,

To go beyond that negative tendency of our minds ,

Comes from being more and more present and aware of this moment in time.

From there you become more familiar with your own presence, that state of being that needs nothing.

Which brings a quiet contentment and calm in yourself.

Which means your partner, your loved ones, your friends,

They all relax within themselves too.

Nothing to prove, nothing to hide.

I once again spoke about this on Facebook recently, head this way if you've got the interest and a few moments: https://business.facebook.com/MrArjunaIshaya/videos/1465091973533911/

Go well ok?

Arjuna

PS.

If you'd like to "master" comparison and doing it wrong thoughts,

Be super present and full of presence,

This is an excellent place to start, a free download with 108 ways of doing just that:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb/

Let me know if you have any questions about it, ok?

The other thing is a live workshop I’m doing specifically for busy working mums

It’s free - Thursday 4th May at 8pm on the internet

You don’t have to go anywhere, just find a quiet corner somewhere and show up to Facebook:

Register here so I can send you the link and reminders and special homework (just a little) for it: https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/cool-calm-collected/

A Sparkle In Your Eye?

Someone once said that people will forget what you say and do, But they’ll never forget how you make them FEEL.

It's very true.

You know when you meet someone just for a moment and they make such a lasting impression?

(In a good way)

When I first met my first Ishayas, I fell head over heels in love.

Total puppy dog follow them around.

Both were women, both were completely “ordinary” looking -

Yet completely extraordinary at the same time.

Don’t know if I can describe it, but I just wanted to be around them as much as possible.

They were calm but there was so much life in their skin, you could feel it -

It was as if by just being around them they reminded me of how to be like that too.

They were having what seemed like a LOT of fun,

With this sparkle in their eyes, they had a manner that said:

“Self-contained, completely content, nothing to hide, nothing to prove, nothing to fear, absolutely alive”

Which was like an unspoken invitation to me to be the same.

The weekend I spent with them wasn't so much about what they taught me,

(Which was amazing)

But how they were, how they lived and laughed, how they did each and every moment.

That’s what I still remember to this day:

How they made me feel.

Yup - your presence speaks louder than any deeds or words.

It’s not what you achieve but HOW you achieve it,

That’s what changes everything -

That’s what makes a lasting impact on your loved ones, on your community, on all the people around you.

And that’s what ultimately gives you satisfaction at a job well done,

A day well lived.

Remember that.

You can have that fulfilment and that impact (though you might not even know it)

It all comes back to your presence.

Your being.

You - not someone else’s way or manner or presence, but yours -

You - resting in yourself, alive to this moment.

Job done.

Go well, ok?

Arjuna

PS.

How do you DO that all the time?

How do you end reacting and being grouchy and stressed?

Two ways you can go about this:

If you're a busy mum who would like to handle her mum-dom

(like a kingdom but a mum-dom - get it?)

With nothing but style and panache:

A free webinar on Thursday 4 May at 8pm,

Click here for details and to register (it's so I can send you some homework and reminders)

https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/cool-calm-collected/ OR

If you want something straight away as well,

This will help you get started:

108 Ways to free yourself of stress, guilt and frazzle and get super calm and super happy and super awesome;

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb/

I Really Need To Tell You This ...

If you live in the UK, and many of you do - Important news.

Speeding fines -

I was making a joke about them recently,

How sometimes you get so frazzled and wound up that you drive like a loose cannon.

Not really aware of the speed,

Just wanting to get to where you’re going fast, like yesterday fast.

You can’t do that any more, because if you do?

You’ll get your arsito …

(that is slang Spanish for derriere. Which is French for bum - I believe)

… kicked by the Man.

Speeding fines are now between 50 - 175 PERCENT of weekly wage.

Woo hoo!

That’s a chunk.

I would not want that.

It’s kinda good actually.

I used to live in a small town with a small road running through the middle of it,

And folks speeding to work and back home through my cosy village I did not like.

They really weren’t my cup of tea.

But anyway -

Moral of the story?

I don’t really have one, except slow down a touch there.

It could make the difference between feeding your family and not.

Then there’ll be some grumps around the (non) dinner table won’t there?

Actually - here’s a better moral -

The haste in your head?

Affects the haste in your life.

The haste in your life?

Affects everything.

Even your bank account.

Less haste and more speed (my Nan was a great pontificator of this)

Get present and calm and have more money.

Dude … that's not really a zinger is it?

I’m a bit off today.

Suggestions?

Hope everything is good out there for you all!

Go well! Arjuna

PS.

Workshop? Online… Wanna come? Bring friends and snacks and questions…

Free too

It’s all about busy mums, struggles and how to enjoy your mum-dom (like kingdom but different) without guilt and frazzle and thinking far too much and all that

Thursday 4th May 8pm,

Register here so I can send you the link AND a little homework before it:

https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/cool-calm-collected/

How A Struggle Becomes A Springboard

Lightbulb moments!

Everyone loves them - do you?

When the light comes on, and it all makes sense.

Moments of clarity.

The fog clears, and you go “aha!”

Well, I love them.

One of my big lightbulb moments?

When my Ascension meditation teacher pointed something out to me.

He’s given me a few such moments, he’s pretty good at switching on lights.

I was going through a rough patch you see,

A bit confused, feeling a bit “broken” - you know, like I’m fundamentally “stuck” and not right some how.

But he said something that really helped, and I wanted to share with you:

That everything I EVER go through,

Every challenge, every struggle, every experience, every seeming deficiency and disability

Everything is:

a) Exactly what I need to become fully me, to fully accept who I am. No apologies, No hiding.

and

b) So I could help other people from direct, personal experience.

And those words made ALL the difference.

Because there were people supporting me at the time -

Who I knew had been through much worse experiences in their lives compared to mine,

They were saying, “don’t worry, just do this, you’ll be fine, you are fine”

And I could trust them because they had been there and done that.

The thought that I was going through it to become more me and help someone else from experience?

Wonderful.

It made sense of everything.

It meant I just needed to put my head down and not wonder “why me?”

Just keep going until I got out the other side.

Which always happens when you have a tool to let go of thoughts and a way forward, complete with support.

So if you’re ever feeling a bit down in the dumps,

Don’t wonder why …

Know that it’s all in hand, it’ll all turn out for the best - a bigger, brighter, better you.

You just keep returning to presence and awareness and be as glass half full as you can.

OK?

Great stuff.

Have fun out there!

And let me know how I can help.

What might help is in the PS, just below

Arjuna

PS.

A advanced warning heads up for you

Thursday 4th May 8pm (GMT)

I’ll be doing a little online seminar, workshop, talk that you might like to come along to

It’s specifically for mums, busy working mums, cos quite a few have been asking

But if you’re a parent (ie a dad, thats the only option left right?) you’ll still get it

It’s about mindfulness, meditation, awareness … yes -

But specifically how to be that in a busy life.

How to keep your centre and not be stressed and listen to those doubt thoughts -

Instead be able to choose how you want to respond and react and do

And live a life you’re satisfied with.

If you want to be there, start here with my "108 ways" (free) guide to being more calm and alive:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb/

I'll tell you when and how to get to the webinar too.

Good Triumphs Over Evil (Yay!)

Here’s a cool story for you - (And an even better photo that goes with it)

I was overjoyed when I first saw it as a kid.

For it's one of those stories when good triumphs over evil -

And all kids (and adult kids too) love that kind of story.

OK, so ... story time -

KV Switzer just last week ran the Boston Marathon at the age of 70

Which is cool in itself - I would LOVE to be that active at that age.

The best thing is: history was made when KV first ran the same race back in 1967 -

All because KV is Kathrine and women weren’t allowed to run back then.

You know, ladiez being “naturally” weak and prone to swooning and having to carry babies and all that.

She ran anyway -

An enraged official tried to grab her and pull her off the course (this guy was furious)

Except her huge boyfriend is right there ...

(Bigger than Hugh “Huge” Jackman, so that's saying something)

And this beefy guy shoulder charges the forces of evil into the gutter.

Hurrah!

(You HAVE to check out the photos - the faces are perfect), here they are:

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/apr/18/first-woman-officially-run-boston-marathon-kathrine-switzer-50?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other

Kathrine finished the race,

Everything changes in that small part of the world,

Women can now run, if they want. Good!

Why do I love it?

As a kid I knew the world was unfair.

I’m a white boy with a tiny experience of life and already it’s obvious things are not equal.

So it was awesome to see someone getting their own little victory over the bullies.

It was also really inspiring to see someone saying:

“The rules are stupid, screw doing what you think I’m supposed to do - I’m doing what I want”

It made me think -

Despite all the rules and shoulds and “what will people think”s that we internalise so much it becomes “truth” -

eg … “Women can’t run a marathon” …

How ridiculous now - but how many ideas have we held to be “true” that now seem silly?

How many people are thinking right now “I’m getting old, I can’t be running marathons …”

How many unexamined road blocks do we still have in our own heads?

I realised:

There was stuff that is externally unfair and the rules and stupid “truths” that just didn’t make any sense -

But the chains of “truth” in our own heads create a prison more than anything.

The “I can’t”, “I’m no good”, “What will they think of me?” or “I’m too old or slow or stupid” …

These things held you back more than an external “The Man” or “Mr Smith” or other bully or force of evil.

Because it sounds like your voice in your head, it seems like THE Truth.

You know?

But it is the one place you can free yourself from -

When you see it clearly.

It’s true:

When you clear up the mental debris,

It clears the way for you to live a life you’re proud of,

That satisfies you.

In doing so, it helps others do the same (if they wish)

There’s much to be done in the world for sure,

But the one excellent place to start is your own head.

When you’re free up top, you’re really free to make change in the world.

Alright?

On that - go well! Arjuna

PS.

I have 108 different ways that you can get calm, present and mindful

Clearing any limiting beliefs out of the way so sweetly and smoothly.

If you'd like a huge friend that gets rid of obstacles for you,

Here's how to get a free copy: https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb/

Whoa There Nelly! Slow Down A Touch

The sun is pouring in my window this morning - I LOVE that! Little bubba is attached to me - we’re giving Sumati a sleep in (She’s been feeding all night long - yikes!)

I’m sipping a coffee.

(Bubba seems pretty happy just chewing on my shirt. Maybe I spilt coffee there?)

Do I sound calm? I feel calm.

This all means I’ve done my Ascension meditation

It’s my morning ritual you see -

Close my eyes, recharge, connect with clarity and calm and presence,

Then make and drink coffee as I get to grips with the day.

This ritual means I can get to work and not be thrown by whatever events come along.

It means I can focus and be clear.

It means I don’t head off and run around like a headless chicken.

I know you know what I mean …

When you get a little stressed, a little busy, a little harassed you try and do things faster

Or more things at the same time.

And the quality of what you do goes down the drain.

Not to mention the levels of peace that you experience.

You start to get frazzled and grouchy and snap at people and get speeding tickets.

And no one likes a speeding ticket. I hate speeding tickets actually.

Now - I KNOW you’re busy.

You have a bunch of things you HAVE to do, and then there’s all the stuff you’d LIKE to do.

But the answer?

You have to realise that time is an experience.

It’s relative.

The faster you go, the less time you have in your head.

You get MORE time when you slow down and take it moment by moment.

Alright?

So - take it easy, slow it up.

Why not even wake a touch earlier so you can start the day with some space?

I don’t mean be insanely early, but 15-20 minutes isn’t going to kill you.

Just set your alarm and get out of bed. Lying there thinking about getting up is just the pits

Some people like to make a hot drink and do nothing, maybe make a few quiet notes to organise their heads

I like to close me eyes and do my practice

(I sent you a link to a simple practice when you signed up, let me know if you need it again?)

Because it’s more effective in giving me unshakeable calm (true!)

If you do this, don't be in a hurry to get up and going again -

Be present. Be alive to this moment.

Step by step, don’t be getting ahead of yourself, alright?

It makes such a difference: you’ll do more and have more time left over.

But the critical thing is your inner state will remain spacious and clear and unruffled.

You’ll smile and joke your way through the day …

Totally worth it.

I recorded a facebook video on the topic of “not enough time” and overwhelm and what to do about it all,

Here it is if you have enough time (see what I did there?):

https://business.facebook.com/MrArjunaIshaya/videos/1459843687392073/

If you want to know more, head this way and I'll give you 108 Ways to be free of overwhelm:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb/

Need anything? Just ask, I’d love to chat Arjuna

PS.

If you like the idea of more time and less frazzle you might to join us for this practice, right here, I think it is THE answer but I am biased:

PPS.

I’m just sorting out a webinar workshop thing that you are cordially invited to

It’ll be a great chance to go into losing stress and getting balanced in much greater detail

And ask all the questions you need.

Just getting my head around the technology

But will let you know ASAP!

Freedom From Fear

Recently had a conversation about fear - It’s the biggest struggle everyone has, isn’t it?

In life, freedom from fear is one thing that is definitely worth searching for.

It is the one thing worth having because then you truly have life.

And the most amazing thing is you don’t need to be an adrenaline junkie to get it.

Freedom from fear is not about facing extreme situations.

In ordinary life your mind can throw up so many things to be fearful about.

That noise late at night.

The bank account, the bills, the future of your career.

Your and your families health …

“What does everyone think of me?”

“Should I do this or should I do that?”

Not to mention the “big” topics: terrorism, war, environmental disaster …

You know?

The first time I drove Sumati and little bubba home from hospital?

You bet I had a flash of realisation of how infinitely more precious my cargo now was.

And how extremely careful the drive home was.

But that’s the thing isn't it?

A concern to ensure freedom and life and the good things -

Can become an obsession about what might go wrong and the loss of them.

Your mind gets so wrapped up in protection and possibilities you completely lose all freedom.

You freeze.

You get anxious, worried, panicky, stressed -

And all about a potential. An idea. A possibility. Something that is not true right now.

Your concern spins out of control and turns into a prison of your own making.

You want happiness and ease and security but your mind leads you on a dance into the exact opposite.

You grip so tightly to life you lose it.

What to do?

Recognise what’s happening.

Recognise the loss of freedom and life from the excessive process of your own mind.

Notice how your mind races off into the future creating all kinds of dramatic stories.

Do you want to live like this?

Get present.

Get out of your head.

It is end of all fear and the source of all life.

Here’s some (in fact 108) super simple ideas to make that a reality:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb/ Go well! Arjuna

PS.

I used to be so afraid.

Afraid of what people thought, of money running out, of doing something wrong

When I realised the biggest source of fear was my own head and it’s shenanigans it made going beyond it so much easier

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb/

“I WILL Do This One Thing!”

How’s the chocolate hangover going? I must say I did wake with a little dry mouth and head.

I didn’t know you could get that from excessive sugar.

Or maybe I just forgot …

Maybe it contributed to me learning a very important lesson this morning,

And I thought I’d tell you all about it. Just in case you can gleam some wisdom from it, and not make the same mistake as I did.

Bubba - little monkey - showed me something.

She’s proving to be a great little teacher.

So - she’s crying, and I know she settles super quick when I put her in the sling and head out for a walk in the fresh air. I’ll do that.

No worries so far.

But. I then think:

“I’ll just put a wash on before we go”

Bubba starts crying harder and harder, kicking and squirming,

All making getting this short little task almost impossible.

I start throwing things at the general direction of the washing machine, soap is going everywhere,

Both of us are getting more and more unhappy.

She just keeps crying louder and louder. And louder.

I’m going:

“I WILL do this one thing”

Until I realise the absurdity of sticking with my plan in the face of mounting struggle -

I give in, we go outside, she falls asleep in 30 seconds flat and so I return and get my washing on.

In peace.

Without getting more soap on the floor.

Funny how we push and we push and we push, huh?

Giving up is sometimes the most easiest AND effective option.

And yet fighting and struggling through seems to be the only way.

We get blinded by our plans and cause ourselves so much stress and struggle …

Just for an idea, something we have chosen to try and do

That often doesn’t even NEED to be done, not right now.

Funny huh?

At least when you stop it’s funny.

And you know what?

Little monkey is STILL asleep.

Take the easy path,

Learn to make the way simple,

Make all of life straightforward and frazzle free:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb/ Go well!

Arjuna

PS.

To me life is all about finding efficiency in action.

What can be done in this moment for the most reward for the least effort.

Fluidity - such a useful skill in that.

Be fluid!

Cos it makes all of life easier.

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb/

Jekyll and Hyde - Your 2 Faced Existence

Seeing a brother and sister in a kitchen over the Easter weekend: Snapping, controlling, struggling for dominance …

Both cool people separately, but put them together:

Ooh! Old family patterns coming back with a force.

Is funny to see, isn't it?

At least it’s funny when you see it in someone else.

But how about you?

How do you react around family?

Don't worry - I know.

It's pretty clear you have a “Best You” and a “Bad You”, right?

A Jekyll and a Hyde …

Taking life (and family) with a smile, clear, focussed, calm, fulfilled, fluid, happy …

Or grumpy, confused, stressed, reactive, controlling, regretful …

How do you know which one will come out today?

It’s random isn’t it?

At least I know it seemed random to me.

I’d just get jumped by Bad Me.

Woke up on the wrong side of the bed,

With a huge button in the middle of my chest saying:

“Bait me” -

And so people did - without even knowing it.

There seems to be no control -

Although there is a pattern.

All going well in life?

Smoothly going to plan?

Nothing too unexpected or random firing at you?

No personages who create a little friction with you close by?

Plenty of rest and sleep?

Great - easy to be happy and calm.

But throw in a problem?

Something happens that you don’t want or didn’t expect?

Getting close to people who wind you up?

How does that shape your mood?

Which version of you comes out then?

Uhuh.

It sucks to have your internal mood and corresponding reactions determined by external events or people.

Because you’re like a monkey on a chain, tugged this way and that, with no control, no choice.

Good news -

You can get free of this chain.

You can get control of which part of you comes out.

You can.

It takes a little practice, but the great thing is:

The good you? The best version of you?

It’s right there, just there.

You just need to choose for it, to create the space to be that.

Getting out of your head and learning to be present is an excellent start.

Mastering your mind and your habitual chain reactions changes all of life.

All of life. And all of your reactions and actions.

If you’re interested in that, here’s how to get going on that, so simply:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb/ Keep the peace!

Arjuna

PS.

It changed my entire way of interacting with people and indeed my life.

It meant I could be the boss of my mind and my emotions and not let them be the boss of me.

A huge relief to have freedom of choice and be independent of the ups and downs of the world, you know?

And no longer be embarrassed and regretful when Bad Me fronted up, quicker than quick and did something or said something stupid.

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb/

What If You Didn’t Have Much Time Left?

I really don’t want to be too serious with this one,

But there’s a chance you might read it that way.

I want this to be an invitation to get more from life, not to be fearful in anyway.

With that proviso, let’s jump in shall we?

It came from a recent conversation with Jo about death and dying and how when she thought about her problems in relation to it ...

She got more free.

And she is bang on.

Carking it, checking out, knocking on heaven’s door, death and dying:

It can be a great giver of perspective of what’s truly important.

You see - when you get stressed what happens?

You lose perspective.

You lose life itself because you’re so busy thinking in small little loops, usually about small little things.

Around and around you think and life passes you by.

Strangely enough an awareness of death can be a giver of life.

It gives you clarity.

It makes you realise that you don’t have the luxury of messing around and entertaining stuff that isn’t helpful to you.

It makes you realise that you have to squeeze everything you want from life -

And not wait for conditions to be perfect.

And not wait for your happiness to be given to you.

That in the face of death, the simple things of life are so fulfilling.

That you can’t make your plans for the future or regret for the past more important than this moment,

Simply because your moments aren’t going to go on forever.

That fighting and struggling is one way of getting through life,

But getting present means you can flow and weave and dance even past the barriers and the sharp spiky bits.

It means your mind loses it's veritable death grip on you.

And why not?

It is Easter - rebirth, living again.

Giving yourself a chance to go once again, no matter what just happened.

The secret to mastery of life and death, over the negativity of your mind, lies in being present.

In this presence and awareness you can go for more, and not entertain a fear of less.

Alright?

Become truly Sane.

Seize the day and all that, have a wonderful weekend with all the adventures you may have planned.

Keep the peace! Arjuna

PS. This might just be one of the best paths I have ever embarked upon:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb/ I'm not just saying that, it's given me way more freedom in life than I ever thought possible.

Willing To Go Through Hell? (you’re doing it all wrong)

“You willing to go through hell to get what you want?” “You ready to bleed for this?!”

Really?

I’m not interested.

How about you?

I see it all the time around and about,

(In fact I used to be a little like that myself - to be honest)

A kind of level of extreme, head first, no prisoners approach to …

Well, many different things …

Weight loss, fitness, business, and even good old mastery of one’s mind.

You know, because I've tried it I can say with 100% authority and experience:

It just doesn’t work.

It’s fine if you’re that kind of gung ho “smash it” hulk personality … or you have the steely discipline of a super ninja robot,

But even then it wears out.

Because it’s harsh.

And harshness isn’t fun, nor rewarding.

(unless you’re hardwired for some masochism, I guess …?)

And if it isn’t fun or rewarding you just aren’t going to do it on a long term.

You’re not going to make it part of your life.

Therefore there's no transformation.

But the fact is you don't need to anyway.

Here’s the thing when it comes to mastering your mind.

Conquering physical challenges is one thing, i.e. making friends with discomfort.

Being able to direct your focus, ignoring certain thought patterns and choosing others is completely different.

There’s not a lot of cross over there.

There isn’t.

So many people think mastering their minds lays in mastering physical discomfort.

When I tried this approach I found I was so focussed on the physical I couldn’t move beyond it.

I couldn't get to deeper levels of calm and centredness and joy and inner presence.

There was just relief and gratitude that I’d finished being "disciplined".

OK?

So the question isn’t “are you prepared to bleed” to overcome the whiney, negative, anxious, reactive part of yourself …

NOT: "are you prepared to go through hell to get to heaven?",

But are you prepared to go through heaven to get to even greater levels of heaven?

Are you prepared to make it supremely easy, and in fact joyful?

If so?

You’ll like our approach a lot:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb/ Keep the peace! Arjuna

PS If you’re not yet sure if you can make it simple and easy and joyful?

Why not let the reins loose just a little?

Just to say you’ve tried it …

Put a smile on your dial, be a touch gentle with yourself?

You can always go back if it doesn’t work.

What If You Just Quit The Internet?

Just got internet supplied to our new house. Look who's back! Wifi’s back!

It’s taken since January - at least 3 whole months of being without the wide world web in the house.

I’m ecstatic.

Overjoyed.

Thrilled even.

There is so much that the internet can give me - 

Kayaking videos

Music

Fail Army

Facebook

Googling “is my baby's poo supposed to look like that?”

You know - cool stuff!

Sumati’s mood has improved considerably too. Heh heh.

Technology is a joy -

But it can be a curse, right?

Witness the walking dead -

The zombie apocalypse of former humans now brain dead,

Endlessly scrolling through their mobile phones,

Ignoring all peoples, all traffic, everything around them,

Relationships dying as they forget how to converse with a live person.

That fine art of asking interesting questions, telling interesting stories, listening - really listening.

So often people will say:

“Detox! Get rid of it all”

And talk about the simplicity of a life without technology, a life without constant updates, of such contact-ability.

Getting away from it all -

It’s a nice idea.

But throwing it ALL away is never the answer.

It’s realising that it’s not about the phone or the computer or the TV or being constantly in demand,

It’s about how YOU use all of that.

Your mobile phone can be a power of good, if you’re aware.

My personal rule for mobile phones?

If there’s someone else in the room - and it’s not a waiting room or a bus stop room,

Get off my phone.

Talk, practice the art of conversation.

And it is an art.

You don’t do it, it dies.

Never a mobile phone in bed.

Great time for some “connecting” of at least one variety …

That is a wonderful way of making sure my relationship stays alive and vibrant and close.

You see, all of this is a choice.

Your whole life is a choice.

You may not realise where your choice lies, exactly - but just seeing that you play a role in all of it is a huge step forward.

When you do want more choice, you might be interested in this:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb/ Keep the peace!

Arjuna

Go Easy On Yourself

I just spent a wonderful day with a group down in Worcester. Beautiful location with awesome, inspiring ladies -

A group of Super Mums,

(and they were - they had capes and all, I swear!)

All wanting to be better.

To be more fun, more flexible and fluid, more productive in their lives.

Don’t we all?

(Hope so if you’re reading this!)

It became apparent that in the pursuit of being better we can be pretty hard on ourselves.

You know?

And sometimes you know you could do better.

You know you let yourself down. Maybe someone else too.

And reacted, speaking angrily, or ditched your fitness regime or diet or whatever.

But - it’s no deal, honestly.

Just get up and go again when you’re ready.

Yelling at yourself, beating yourself up, calling yourself an idiot?

I know that inner voice ^^^

Mine was particularly nasty.

It does you no good at all.

Does it?

Give yourself a break.

High expectations and goals are wonderful -

But realise it’s going to take time and persistence to wear down some habits.

They're just old patterns. It's the old you, the one you're leaving behind.

No deal,

Just don’t stop.

Therefore getting better is not so much about talent or skill or even motivation.

It’s about gentle persistence that gets there because it’s unstoppable.

No rush, no pressure to achieve, just a certain will to do what you can do today to get there.

Today is a write off?

Not a problem.

Leave it.

Go again tomorrow.

No one, no one at all does anything full on, all the time.

Some people would like you to believe they do -

But they don’t, simply because they can’t.

Slow and steady gets there.

Getting up again does it.

Putting it down to learning - not failure, not wrong again - will make it so enjoyable and simple you cannot NOT get there.

OK?

Keep on.

You got this.

Keep the peace! Arjuna

PS.

Oh - almost forgot!

If you want a beautifully simple and fun way of retraining your brain away from harshness and self-violence,

This could be just the thing you’ve been looking for:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb/ 

Get More Time And More Done, With Time For A Cuppa Too

You have a busy life right? Juggling a family, a job, a career or business maybe, then there’s your fitness and fun times too …

It’s full on, I now know how much it is with this little 4 week bubba we got.

There’s not a lot of time to spare.

How do you get more time in your day?

This is what I know:

Time all depends on your mental and emotional state.

When you’re stressed and overwhelmed, time flies.

Frazzled and frantic? Everything speeds up.

You try to do more at the same time and time gets even faster.

Yet if you slow down and get really present,

If you protect your peace -

You get breathing space.

Time to consider and space to choose how you want to act,

Instead of reacting blindly.

You have the same amount of things to do -

But your internal clock is slower.

It’s the oddest thing -

If you want more time in your day, take time to close your eyes.

Weird huh?

Seems like the last thing you should do, because, well you have to hustle, you got things to do - right?

Yet taking time to get calm and clear and to recharge means you get more time.

You do more with less.

Awesome that is. Magic, even.

Prioritise your peace, defend it from stress and freneticism -

And you flow through life so smooth, so gracefully it’s a wonder.

Maintain that inner clock and the outer clock changes.

But you won’t know exactly how much until you do it, alright?

So get cracking.

If you'd like some sweet tools that make getting into a calm, clear, focussed and fun headspace simple?

Join us here:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb/ Keep the Peace! Arjuna

PS.

I know this will annoy some of you.

It will -

You'll be thinking, "he knows nothing about my life".

And you're right, I don't.

But ask yourself - do you enjoy being stressed and snappy and agitated?

I know all about that ^^^

I know all about the (false) belief that nothing can change until the situations and the circumstances and the people in my life change.

YET: What if it could?

Time to check out of the Matrix:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb/

Avoiding Petty Stuff That Creates Havoc

Baby names - what a nightmare. Baby is 4 weeks old and she has no moniker.

Well, she has plenty of nicknames:

Missy, Shrimpy, Monkey Bum …

But nothing official.

Trouble is I suggest something and Sumati recoils in horror (as is her manner when I come up with a really good idea)

It’s apparent I’ve suggested something on par with “Adolf” or “Trumpina” or “Wartface” or some such.

Sumati suggests something and I politely tell her what it rhymes with -

Because my brain works like that,

And she, again, recoils in horror telling me that no one in their right mind will think of that, and why did she marry me anyway?

Except I did, and I bet someone else will, and she said yes to my proposal so it’s all far too late (nyah a ha!!)

So I’ve kind of stopped suggesting names.

The lesson behind all of this?

Sometimes you just have to give up.

Especially in relationships, you know?

I see so many people fighting over nothing,

Over wanting to prove their point really.

And yet in wanting to be right,

Happiness and harmony gets chucked out the window,

You end up arguing so much you forget why you liked the person in the beginning anyway.

Sure, you pick your battles.

But when you start prioritising your peace you realise your “I must be right on this one particular point” really is a very small list indeed.

When you're at peace your significant others are at peace too -

So it’s not a selfish thing at all,

Though some people think so:

“I’m getting stressed because I want you to have the best life”

Kids and partner, dogs and goldfish,

They actually all want you to be happy and at peace.

It enables them a point of reference in this sometimes crazy, chaotic world.

An anchor of stability.

An oasis of calm, and love, and good humour.

So they can remember theirs.

Want that?

It’s a skill - a skill you can develop.

Here’s the way to get “peace fit”:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb/ Keep the peace! Arjuna

PS.

Imagine your partner and/or family, how would life be if they were all at peace.

Wouldn’t that be fun?

Wouldn’t that be smooth and drama free?

Yes indeedy.

Now you can’t make your loved ones like that, but you protecting your peace is the biggest thing you can do to help them get that.

Actions speak louder than words.

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb/ 

Protect What Is Most Valuable To You

What is the most crucial and valuable thing you possess?

Is it your car? Your house? Your TV?

Perhaps if you’re thinking deeper you might go for your financial security? Your family? Your partner?

How about your health? Your reputation?

Have a ponder - because when you get to the end of your life you want to make sure you made it a priority.

And if you don’t know,

You won’t have kept it important,

And you won’t have filled your life with it.

Here’s what I say is THE most important thing to you,

The most precious and crucial and valuable thing that you possess:

Your peace.

Your levels of calm, of focus, of clarity, of perspective, of happiness and fulfilment.

Why?

Because that is your core, your foundation, your stability, your anchor.

When life gets busy, when you’re faced with challenges, when you’re chasing goals and dreams -

The one thing that will keep you on an even keel -

That will stop you losing your mind -

Blowing up with stress and overwhelm and “I can’t do this” negativity -

Maintaining a clear perspective and a positive attitude -

Being filled with calm and contentment, no matter how things appear to be unfolding,

Able to act freely and not react wildly and blindly -

Is your peace.

Thing is you don’t know how crucial it is. You don’t really appreciate how valuable it is.

You always delay it.

Putting it last.

Seeking it after the current situation has blown over.

And so you never get off the rollercoaster of life.

Swinging wildly, like, as they say down under - a dunny door in a storm

(outside toilet for those not understanding the parlance).

Get peace first, prioritise it.

Protect it -

It is the most valuable thing you possess.

Everything good and creative comes from it.

All of life gets easier and more effective and definitely more enjoyable when you do.

I actually got so excited about this, I made a little Facebook live video you might like:

https://business.facebook.com/MrArjunaIshaya/videos/1442261985816910/

Simple as, so simple it’s not funny.

Go well!

Arjuna

PS.

To prioritise your peace and protect it, even in those seriously challenging moments, head this way:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb/

PPS.

If you’ve sat the course before, remember it’s absolutely free to repeat it as many times as you like.

Hit reply and I’ll send you the details -

Be great to see you again!

Apple’s Chief Designer Is Stupid

He said so himself - Sir Jonathan Ive - The guy that was responsible for designing all that slick Apple stuff said he thought he was stupid.

Watching an interview with him - he said his stupidity was the turning point in his career, and Apple’s development.

You see - when he tried to use old computers and technology back in the day, they never worked how he thought they should.

They didn’t make sense - they didn’t have a simple flow to them, they weren’t intuitive or enjoyable to use …

BUT he just assumed he was too stupid to use them.

“Bing” went the lightbulb.

In his moment of illumination Sir Jon realised it was the same with everyone who tried to use one of these computers - “I’m too stupid to get it”

And yet:

He also realised it wasn’t the users but the design.

The designers did not “get” the humans that were to use this tech, therefore missing a critical piece of the puzzle.

Sir Jon cracks on to a basic design principle (“who is going to use it and how do they want to use it?”) and Apple becomes known for its easy to use, intuitive, real people friendly gadgets -

That today means tons of people use them, and whats more: love to use them.

Now - segue to meditation and mindfulness practices.

Some of the books I’ve read and people I’ve heard talking about meditation are so complicated I just used to assume they were spouting some arcane and detailed wisdom,

And I was just too stupid to understand such information.

Turns out - like with Sir Jon - making it complicated is just another word for not really understanding your subject.

The truth is that gaining mastery of your mind and your habitual patterns is really simple, it is.

It needs to be because the truth of who you are is not very far away.

Remember how you are in your great moments?

You just need a method to remind you how to be that, now.

That’s it.

You need gain nothing.

Seriously.

You need give up nothing, learn no complicated knowledge,

Because it’s all about the experience, nothing else matters.

It doesn’t need to take very much time either,

And layers of complication and mysticism just serves to obscure you actually remembering.

So if you come across something you don’t understand, that seems so complicated in this field of meditation and mindfulness?

You’re not stupid.

It’s likely the person spouting such stuff doesn’t really know what they’re talking about.

They’re the ones that don’t understand.

OK?

A method or a tool to remember that state of being when you are the best version of yourself needs to be simple,

Because that return to your Self is simple.

It’s so close, closer than your heart beat even.

And it can be so enjoyable to return and remember:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb/ Go well!

Arjuna

PS.

This is the ONLY time I’m going to say it’s them and not you, alright?

If you don’t understand, GRILL them until you get an answer you do understand.

Simple, simple, simple. Keep it simple.

Time Travelling - Your Super Power

I’ve got ten minutes free from baby duties. Who would have thought that a little being could take up so much time and attention?

Not me, not me at all.

I have no idea what I used to fill my time with - if you’re a parent you know exactly what I mean.

All good though -

Since I have 9 minutes left, I just have to be more efficient.

Flexible helps too, right?

Who knows what’s going to happen!

These are the super powers of a parent - being efficient, flexible, patient.

Oh - and having a good sense of humour.

All absolutely crucial "internal" super power skills - and skills they are.

You CAN develop more of them.

Sometimes I ask people if they could have a super power, what would it be?

A big chunk of people say time travel.

Simply because you only get wise when you experience something.

Wisdom comes from hindsight -

On comes the lightbulb after you've crashed around the room in the dark, smashing a few things ...

You live it THEN you realise.

Occasionally you have to experience something time and time again before the light comes on or your eyes are opened -

(Pick whatever metaphor you like best)

And that’s my hope for my life, that I only have to live through something once to get it …

Rather than having wisdom smack my head against reality a few times before I finally wake up, you know?

But:

Because of this wisdom coming best through experience and hindsight there is the door for sneaky old regret to come in ...

And take over.

Which it does.

A flash of insight, and then -

“I’ve been a fool. I wish I could travel back in time and do that again”.

Trouble is:

You can’t.

The past is done - you can celebrate it, learn from it, apologise for it …

Yet as hard as you try in your own mind, you can never, ever relive and redo it.

That’s where the super power quality of your headspace and mindset comes in.

There's a type of calm, present happiness that means you set yourself free from the things that aren't possible.

You get an appreciation that, actually, time travel only happens in your head - and therefore is a huge waste of time and emotion, right up there with regret.

So you put an end to regret and endless wishing you could do it again -

Instead getting wise and doing something constructive with the time you DO have.

But also it's a two-for-one type deal.

This skill means you get the ability to react unwisely less and less.

You get the space and time to consider what you’d like to say or do BEFORE you snap and say or do something a little less than what would you like.

Wouldn’t that be nice?

Wouldn't that come in handy and make your life so much smoother - and enjoyable?

Why, yes - yes indeed, it would.

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb/ Go well,

Arjuna

PS.

Any questions? Fire away if you do.

PPS.

Stay here!

As in this precise moment in time.

Don’t go anywhere.

This is the one moment you have to do anything with.

And -

You’ll soon realise that the experience of this moment is so much greater than the thought of another.

Not So Humble Now, Huh?

You want to live a good life, perhaps even a great one? A life, as it is said, that is worth living.

So that when you get to the end of it -

(and who really knows when that might be?)

You have zero regrets.

You wasted not a single moment.

You were courageous and good and compassionate and adventurous and did your best to live as fully as possible.

Seeking even more enjoyment of each and every moment.

In this, you’ve realised a thing or two -

One of those is that you choose your response to life.

You can’t always change the events, but you can choose your responses.

Those responses mean you can freely choose your actions and your words - and therefore get the results you want.

It’s not anyone else who holds you back, but rather your own fears, worries, doubts, beliefs and limitations.

Learning to engage life fully thus involves engaging a different relationship with your thoughts and feelings.

Now-

In all of this the greatest thing you can do for yourself is develop a modicum of humility.

Because you don’t know all the answers, and you will mess stuff up.

If you’re like me, you’ll start off believing that you do know, and you won’t mess up.

But you will.

Ha - in fact this path involves getting comfortable with making mistakes.

If anything this universe will show you where you can be more humble -

And yet not retreat into inaction, not hide from doing things …

But taking the attitude of “how can I do better next time?”

Humility is an awesome trait to possess.

Because it means you are open to constantly learn.

You’re not seeking perfection.

Perfection is a waste of time compared with being better - it’s a glass ceiling.

It’s right and it’s wrong, there’s no growth.

What could be better than constant expansion of your internal and external universe?

Nothing that I can think of.

Just being willing to look at yourself and see where you can do better takes humility.

That’s why not many people do it.

It’s easier on the ego to look and blame everyone else.

So if you’re willing to look and do something about what you see?

Good on you. Good on you.

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb/ Go well!

Arjuna

PS.

Go gentle on yourself when you’re looking at yourself.

It’s so easy to be pretty harsh and self-critical.

Don’t be harsh:

Just be willing to do your best to do things better next time.

The Absurdity Of Beating A Mind To Train It

I was taking a stroll down by the river with my ladiez … Sun was shining, the river was glistening, birds a chirping.

A perfectly lovely scene.

I turn the corner where upon we witness a man yelling and thrashing his dog to get it to behave.

Curious behaviour I thought.

But behaviour that is common nonetheless - is it not?

When someone (or some dog) doesn’t do what you want them to do, simply yell louder and effect violence.

Not working? Simply shout louder.

You may chuckle, but chances are you do that with yourself.

You get violent and yell and shout at yourself when you do something wrong, when you don't "behave"…

You try and beat your own mind to get it to stop being so reactive or anxious or negative or worried.

And then you wonder why your head never behaves in the way you want it to.

If you think you don’t do this?

Take an honest look at your self-dialogue.

For real - no one would even talk to an animal the way they talk to themselves.

I know this because I’ve tried that route of self-training.

I know that pattern of internal talk,

Of trying to gain mastery of my mind by thrashing and yelling and viciousness.

Didn’t work, at all.

If you’ve ever seen a dog that has been beaten, it doesn’t want to come close to you.

Because it’s worried it’ll get another beating.

Witness a dog that is rewarded for good behaviour though …

It WANTS to do what you want it to.

It wants to return and sit and await orders.

It doesn’t run off at the slightest hint of interest some where else.

You can teach it to do just about anything you want it to.

The answer for you in all of this?

In learning to master your mind and therefore gain mastery over your words and deeds, stop the internal violence.

Mind (and dog) training needs reward not beatings.

It's time to put down the whip.

How do you reward your mind for good behaviour?

Head this way and we'll get you started:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb/ Go well, alright!

Arjuna

PS.

Another great thing you need in mind training?

Patience.

Just like training your dog - consistency is everything.

With time and with practice, and reward, you’ll get there.

Promise.