“Nothing troubles me. I offer no resistance to trouble—therefore it does not stay with me. On your side there is so much trouble. On mine there is no trouble at all. Come to my side.”

— Nisargadatta Maharaj

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Ah, the not-at-all fluffy words of Nisargadatta. He doesn’t mince words. I love it.

The key to mastering your mind, emotions, and ego—being totally free of suffering, experiencing the truth of who you are, limitation-free (however you want to put it!)—is this:

You don’t change a single thing, except for one tiny thing that turns out to be huge. But before we get to that:

The lack of change is a hard pill to swallow.

In this world full of messages about improving, changing, making better, becoming, and self-developing, deep awareness, meditation, and mindfulness are the direct opposite.

You don’t change a single thing.

Your practice of mindfulness and meditation… (How’s that going, by the way? Do get going on that. Even something small helps in numerous ways.)

This practice isn’t about changing your mind, emotions, past, or future.

That’s too much hard work.

But!

In not denying, controlling, or forcing anything, your mind and emotions change. Your relationship with the past ‘heals’; it changes. How you approach the future also changes.

Isn’t that cool?

But (excuse my second "but")—

At this point, you don’t really care because you’ve transformed your reactive relationship to anger, worry, shame, guilt, sorrow, and all the rest. You come to a place where you’re no longer so invested in them.

Imagine that!

The way to this, as Alan Watts pointed out using a muddy glass of water, is that the mind and your emotions clarify all by themselves when you leave them alone. The dross drops away…

When you leave them alone.

This practice isn’t about change, it’s not about denial; it’s about embracing the entire human experience.

Not getting lost in it either. No, that’s different—people fall into ‘feeling’ their emotions to such an extent that they’re completely lost in them yet feed them so they never end… Nope, that’s not the way.

The middle path, as Buddha once wrote. Like the strings of a guitar: not too tight, not too loose.

Don’t deny; accept.

Through acceptance, you’ll see that you have a mind and emotions, but you are not them.

So. Change your attitude to what comes in. Don’t fight everything that comes your way.

That’s why a practice is key, because we’ve been doing the opposite for so long. In a practice, you learn it’s okay not to fight, not to struggle. That’s the tiny attitude shift that is actually huge.

By stepping back from your mind and emotions (if you have an effective technique like Ascension, which helps so much to detach you gracefully), you find a place to stand.

Here you can get curious. Here you can be with whatever thought or emotion is there, freely observing.

Now—

“What if I’m in the middle of an emotional storm? What then? Stepping back and detaching aren’t so easy, Mr. Arjuna,” I hear you say.

Good point!

Yet it’s the same. Not denying becomes even more important. If a river is threatening to break its banks, get to high ground. Don’t try to hold it back. Stand and let it flow.

Not so easy because we feel like it’ll be bottomless. We feel like we’ll be swept away. We feel like we have to hold on and keep control. And that is the problem: not the emotion, but the control, the judgment of the emotion.

You see?

Nope, it won’t last forever. If you let it, it will move through, and then you’re free and clean again. And it won’t move as violently as last time.

If something is banging on your door, here you can open the door! Allow it to stay as long as it needs to, and then move on. This is your house; it cannot wreck it. But your control and judgment? That is the problem.

Hunt down “The Guesthouse” by Rumi. It’s exactly this subject and very, very good.

Also, look at the story of Buddha inviting the demon Mara for tea. Here, if it’s a good telling, you’ll find that Buddha never denies Mara, the demon of fear, lust, anger, and worry. Instead, Buddha says, “I see you!” and invites all of Mara for a cuppa.

And that really works beautifully.

Identify the thing you don’t want—“I see you.” If something big wants to come through, simply identify it with the words, “I see you, sorrow,” “I see you, worry,” “I see you, anger”… whatever…

And in this way of identifying, you become curious, you’re not defensive and controlling; you allow. Then it can stay for a while, then move on, and you are clear again.

But it all begins with being okay with whatever wants to move.

Not changing it or getting lost in it, no. Just having a half-step back so whatever moves, moves, and you are out of the way.

Practice. We’ve done control and judgment for so long; not controlling, straining, and trying will take practice. But even a little practice will bring so much freedom.

So—more than enough for one week. But a much-needed and neglected skill, I think.

Give it a shot. Let me know what you find.

Go well, Arjuna

PS. Apologies—this was of monstrous length. But hopefully, you found it useful?

PPS. And! Come and learn Ascension, truly.

If I had my time again, I would have dived into it sooner. It makes such a difference to detaching from negativity and limitation, as well as giving you such a solid place to stand.

A sanctuary and a platform to take on the world, whatever you need at the time you need it.

The next dates are April 25–27 (Friday 7 pm start).

After learning, it’s always free to repeat, with so much online support and guidance.

Let me know if you’re interested!