How do you stay calm and present in stressful situations? Part two.

When you've gone through a stressful situation the most important thing is to let it go as soon as you can. The sooner the better. Let go of all the mental reviewing of what just happened. Just don't even get started on that track.

Tough times mean you have to stay present otherwise the critic in your head is going to give you a good kicking. What happens is we stumble through an argument, for example, and then we look back and replay the whole thing with what we "should" have done or said.

Hindsight is a valuable thing, but you did what you did and that is that.

If you need to go apologise you go and say sorry, but again, the most important thing is to let it go. Know that you did your best, give it another shot next time. You can't do anything about it, so give yourself a break and start fresh.

There is no value in endless recycling of the past - but that is what will happen unless you are super present, alive to this moment.

Also...

Don’t be afraid of emotion. The inner critic can judge us harshly for being emotional. But anger, for example, can tell us a lot about ourselves, about what is important.

Don’t assume calmness and happiness means never getting excited or passionate.

The only problem with something like anger is when we don’t say what we need to say. Then it builds and builds and really explodes. When you feel it coming be very aware and see what it is all about. Be as clear as possible with your communications, don’t hold back what you need to say, and then… let it go.

You’re not going to master this straight away, but keep doing it and you will. Treat everything in life as one big journey of self-discovery, of what works best for you. Throw the critic and perfection out the window and embrace the idea of constant improvement.

You’re always going to discover more about yourself, and sometimes the tough times show you the most. The best attitude when you see one coming? Say to yourself: “Excellent! Bring it on.”

Have fun with this, ok?

How do you stay calm and present in stressful situations? Part one.

The crucial thing is that the more present you can be ordinarily, the easier it’s going to be when things gets tough. You'll notice yourself losing your cool and be able to step back and gain some objectivity sooner and sooner.

The more you prioritise your peace, the more you can see it slipping - the more you can tell when you aren’t prioritising it.

Gather to yourself an eyes closed practice - some time and tools to really get familiar with presence and inner stillness. Let that be the foundation upon which you structure your day, so you remember to be present and aware when you are out and about with your eyes open.

The regular practice develops a baseline of happiness and calm within you so it becomes super obvious when you stray from it. It just gets easier and easier to return. It actually gets to a point where peace comes and gets you when you leave it. Which, needless to say, is pretty cool.

From here life becomes more and more enjoyable. The saying “do you want to right or do you want to be happy?” becomes crystal clear to you in terms of your choices, and so you lose it less and less, just because it's not worth it any more.

"Hmmmm... do I want to be right or be happy?"... Happy please!

So don't let up on your practice when the going is good. Don't assume you don't need it. Just do it and get so familiar with inner stillness so that you never leave, even when the house is burning down around you.

Being calm and clear starts with a choice, now. If you're consistent with that choice, being consistently calm and clear comes quickly, and easily, and simply.

More on this though, so stay tuned for part two...

The key to staying cool, calm and collected

The key to staying cool, calm and collected is to have little islands in your day, regular little points of detachment from the world where you completely come away from what you are involved in. Spreading these times throughout your day when you stop and reconnect is the key to not losing your peace and fully enjoying what you are doing - whatever that may be.

How you do this is up to you. When I first started The Bright Path Ascension meditation, what was recommended was time in the morning before work, some time in the afternoon - perhaps at lunch and/or on coming home, and last thing at night.

(This is eyes closed time - "power nap" or meditation/breathing time. Anything else is fine, but time closing your eyes is much more beneficial, just so you know.)

This way I had a little "oases" (plural for oasis) so I could start the day right, plug back in so the afternoon was easier, and/or in the evening so I could let go of the day and sleep well.

It quickly made such a difference to my attitude and energy levels.

Doing this means peace is a priority to you. If you commit to these times - not let them be flexible on a if and when basis, but a definite appointment, then you are saying to yourself that remaining clear, calm and content is the most important thing.

It sets a bench mark of calm so its easier to know when you're getting wound up and you need to back down.

Without this benchmark stress just creeps up on you. Sometimes you're not aware of how uptight you're getting simply because most stress comes in little by little, a death by a thousand cuts.

When a weight gets cranked up little by little it goes un-noticed until the straw comes that breaks your back, and you yell at the person who (usually) least deserves it.

With this benchmark you are more prone to take action to stay there. You are more conscious of your physical wellbeing, your internal attitude and mood, everything.

If you're regular with a practice of stopping it means this benchmark of calm is easier to come back to. If you fly off the handle, you can let go and reset quickly. You fly off less, need to apologise less, everyone is happy.

The bottom line is the ability to act - to have clarity of choice - as opposed to reacting, habitually.

There is nothing better than the ability to consciously steer your life in the direction you wish it to go. There is no need to be captive to the ups and downs of life. You want to be captain of your own ship, and you can be, it simply requires a little practice.