There can be so much thinking “I’m doing life all wrong”
And if you have kids it can lead to much guilt -
Because now not only are you messing up your life, but your kids as well …
This man recently talked about it beautifully:
Harry, Prince Harry - the UK royal that looks like he’s having a great time
The one who is blessed with a full head of hair
(Before you get on my case for getting on William’s case, I am fully aware of the irony of a bald man teasing another)
But Harry has recently talked about mental health and specifically his own in the wake of his mum’s death.
Not an ordinary death in the family, no way …
Something he said really sparked this little chat we’re having.
He said when you look around,
It seems like everyone else’s life is perfect.
Especially in this age of selfies and instagram and tweaking images with photoshopping all the rest of that …
When your life seems a little tough, or doesn’t seem to be perfect, it can be easy to think,
“There’s something wrong with me”
And it’s so true.
There is so much pressure to get it right
It leads to anxiety and depression and worry and overwhelm and good old guilt.
All due to comparison.
And as Theodore Roosevelt once said,
“Comparison is the thief of joy.”
Comparison with other people,
Comparison with some standards you should be living up to,
Comparison with some former version of yourself perhaps.
True, huh?
Sumati reports that stepping into being a mother has just sent that through the roof.
She’s getting to know some mums and they’re all trying to get it right
So conversations all seem to be about how good their bubba is doing
And it’s all just masking a not knowing,
A scramble to be getting it right.
And no wonder.
I know the mental habit of thinking particularly well.
When I was a young fella I looked around and it seemed like everyone else had life sorted.
I had no idea, at least I THOUGHT I had no idea.
But what I was trying to do was find by observing other people a way of living that I could fit into
Something I could conform to -
A ready made life cut out …
If that makes any sense at all.
What I should have been looking for instead -
Was investigating how I myself wanted and needed to live.
Giving up trying to get it right, and comparison,
And just doing it.
My life, without apologies.
It comes down to a kind of quiet confidence, doesn’t it?
Not an “alpha dominate the room” type proving yourself confidence,
That’s crazy.
Just an ignoring of those thoughts that say “something is wrong with me”
I found that the way forward,
To go beyond that negative tendency of our minds ,
Comes from being more and more present and aware of this moment in time.
From there you become more familiar with your own presence, that state of being that needs nothing.
Which brings a quiet contentment and calm in yourself.
Which means your partner, your loved ones, your friends,
They all relax within themselves too.
Nothing to prove, nothing to hide.
I once again spoke about this on Facebook recently, head this way if you've got the interest and a few moments:
https://business.facebook.com/MrArjunaIshaya/videos/1465091973533911/
Go well ok?
Arjuna
PS.
If you'd like to "master" comparison and doing it wrong thoughts,
Be super present and full of presence,
This is an excellent place to start, a free download with 108 ways of doing just that:
https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb/
Let me know if you have any questions about it, ok?
The other thing is a live workshop I’m doing specifically for busy working mums
It’s free - Thursday 4th May at 8pm on the internet
You don’t have to go anywhere, just find a quiet corner somewhere and show up to Facebook:
Register here so I can send you the link and reminders and special homework (just a little) for it:
https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/cool-calm-collected/
Seen the latest M&S advert?
It’s cool!
