A guide to living the best life possible, part 2

How do you live your life? Here's part two of Arjuna's guide to a rich and fulfilled life:

Find ways to be of service

Give more, in all ways. This life isn’t about getting. Your peace and happiness stems from the ability to openly give.

Stop complaining

Don’t complain, whine, whinge, bitch or moan. Don’t blame anyone either. It is the fastest path to misery ever.

Appreciate and be grateful

Go out of your way to speak about your appreciation and gratitude for everything. Through this your experience of life will be that the glass is not only half-full, but continuously over-flowing.

Seek for contentment, always

Your path in this life will be different from every body else’s. Rest assured, all will turn out fine. Don’t compare, live your life as it comes to you. Set lofty goals, but live now content in what you have.

Your purpose is intertwined with your passions

Do as much of what you love as possible. It is closely related to your purpose for being here.

Be full-on

Don’t be half arsed. Don’t wait for life to be given to you. Take 100% responsibility and make this how you want it. Someone once said: “When you were born you cried and the world rejoiced. Live a life so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice.” Sounds like good advice to me.

Your natural state is freedom

You are a limitless being. Your awareness is unbounded by time or space. You are more than just your body or your beliefs. You are perfect, exactly as you are. Rest in the heart of your infinite being, be well, live, be free.

Eat your greens

Sleep well, exercise and drink lots of water too…

Excellent. Don't take these seriously now. Enjoy!

A guide to living the best life possible

Life doesn’t come with an instruction book. You have to work out for yourself what works. For what its worth, and for your entertainment and edification, here’s how I think life’s guide book should go:

The past is completely gone and the future is beyond your control

Base your life in the here and now. Become alive to this. You cannot live in any other moment. Stop regretting the past and trying to predict the future. Its futile. Be right here. The only moment that matters is now. It matters not a jot what just happened or where your attention was. Where are you now?

It’s not so much what you do, it’s how you do it

Your impact on the world is less about what you say and do and more about where you are when you say or do. Your presence speaks louder than words. Being in the same place as your body, absorbed in this moment, means you can meet the need of this moment. Everything will be so much more than if you are in your head.

Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?

Prioritise your peace and happiness. Humanity is crazy. There are so many people who would rather be right than happy. The end of all conflict lies in valuing happiness over everything else. You like happiness? Stop caring if you’re right or not. As my meditation teacher instructs, also take things a little less seriously every day.

You reap what you sow

You want a different fruit? You need to plant a different tree. Doing the same thing and expecting different results will never work. What you give, you get. What you focus on, grows.

Love people just as they are

Don’t insist that people change. You may be clear and honest in what you want, but after that step back and whole heartedly accept and allow every single person you meet.

Change what you can change, accept what you must accept

See the difference. Give yourself the wisdom to see what you can change or leave and what you must accept. Don’t push or force anything. Its a complete waste of time.

Call your mother

It's important.

Part two coming soon...

Common spiritual misconceptions #27 - Desires

Once upon a time, I tried living without desires. I’d been reading lots of Buddhist books and it seemed like they talked a lot about desirelessness and how that would make you happy. That’s the trouble with reading things without having someone to ask who actually knows. Having an experienced coach or a teacher makes the path super quick and smooth. There’s no guess work needed on your behalf. There’s no re-inventing the wheel.

But I digress…

So, I tried and I failed. And no wonder - without desire you don’t even get out of bed. You need desire to live, it is what gives your life sparkle. Without desire your life is grey, and a bit pointless.

The only trouble with desire comes when you hold tight to it, when you insist that your happiness depends on a certain desire being fulfilled in a certain way.

Desire is never the deal, its attachment that kicks you.

When you link your happiness with something you will always be disappointed. If you believe you can only be happy on sunny days you are setting yourself up for a lot of time unhappy.

But, if you are happy and content as you are and with what you have, and you enjoy the sun, then sunny days can only make you even happier.

Does that make sense?

Find contentment and gratitude with what you have and who you are. Make that the foundation of every moment. Be in love with your life, exactly as it is. And then go chase what you want to do. Live the life you wish to live. Be and do and have the things you want.

Just discern the difference between living from a foundation of happiness and achieving your desires. Unshackle happiness from desire, and then you can have both. Each and every moment will be a blast, and full, and alive.

Sounds like a good way to live to me.

Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans

“Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.” - John Lennon It’s a funny old thing, life. It’s happening here and now and more often than not, most people aren’t aware of it. They miss out on life itself, thinking and planning about some other moment, some moment in which they believe life will happen.

Do you do that? Is your life going on right under your nose while you are elsewhere?

Unless you are present and alive to life, to this moment, you will miss out. And no one has an infinite amount of time to get to the task of really, truly living. It’s something you need to get onto very very soon.

If I may be so bold, I would ask:

What do you think it’s going to take for you to wake up to this?

What is it going to take for you to realise that your life is ending one moment at a time, and you are somewhere else, lost in your head?

When are you going to stop wasting a single moment adrift in the past or future or some other location, wishing, dreaming that you were anywhere but here?

When are you going to make the most of each and every moment?

Please do. Please wake up to your own life, take it and go. Live it fully. It requires so little, just your attention applied now. Such a small, simple sacrifice, and you get so much.

If you don’t, who will? If not now, when?

ps. if you don't know how - just ask. It really is a simple thing.

Being bolder than your comfort zone

If you never did anything different, where would you be?If you never took a step into the unknown, what experience would you have? The same as ever, the same as everyone else.

Everything that you have done that is worth doing has required you to go beyond your comfort zone. Moving forward is rarely comfortable.

The mind hates progress for this reason.  And it’s why you can use that feeling as a gauge to indicate what is truly important to you.

If the idea of doing something makes you nervous or brings up doubt about whether you are up to the task then that is an excellent indicator of importance. Follow that idea, do that thing.

You see, the opposite of love is not hate but indifference.

If it doesn’t require you to overcome some resistance to get it, it has little value to you. The more resistance, the more value it has to you.

I don’t think you will ever get to a place where courage isn’t required. You just get better at ignoring the “I can’t’s”, the even more subtle “I’m not ready yet’s”, and of course the “it might all go wrong’s and then what’s?”

Being bolder is a skill that you can practice. It starts with awareness of your mind’s limitations and setting your attention beyond these complaints.

What do you want to do? Expect resistance and jump anyway.

The first step before flying is to leap.

Things to do to make sure your day is a happy one

Happiness is a choice. When you realise you aren’t so much in control of the situation as you are in control of your reaction to the situation, then happiness becomes a viable option. It becomes in your control.

So how can you set your day up to be a happy one?

I have drawn up a little list for you. Feel free to add your own:

1.) Prioritise said happiness Wake up every morning with the intention of making the foundation of your day the choice to be happy (or whatever the most important thing is to you: peace, contentment, love etc). Put it first on your list.

2.) Meditate regularly Meditation - properly done - is the practice of being non-judgementally aware. Through practice a state of calm, connectedness grows within you. You also get to clearly see what choices serve you, and are able to make new ones.

3.) Accept Learn to accept the things you can’t change or leave. Don’t settle for complaining or blaming. Just accept and then you can work with what you have. Complaining is not the road to happiness.

4.) Live with your glass half-full Not an invitation to live in the pub, but rather an invitation to choose to appreciate: to see the good and the positive. You can do this in any situation or with any person, you just need to decide to.

5.) Be Grateful Happiness isn’t provided by the people and the things in your life. Happiness comes from the gratitude that these people and things are there. Gratitude is the fastest path for more.

6.) Give Find a way to give to other people. Even if it is a smile or the intention to make someone’s life a little easier, do it. You cannot be self-absorbed when you are giving. And if you find yourself ‘stuck’, get going and give.

7.) Hang out with happy people Spend as much time as you can with people that make you happy. It is contagious!

8.) Live a life of purpose Every day, do those things that fulfil your purpose. If you aren’t sure what your purpose is, it is closely related to your passions.

Give them a try and see what happens…

How to be really happy

I love to ask people what the most important thing is to them. Its a question we don't get asked often, or at all.

I’ve asked people from all around the world and they all say the same thing: It’s about being happy and content and fulfilled and loved and adventurous and having a purpose and etc etc…

What is the most important thing to you?

I bet you it has nothing to do with your goals or your possessions or your bank account or your job. It’s not about the external circumstances in your life.

These things are important - and fun - but the most important thing is an internal way of feeling about and being in life.

It’s not what you do, but how you do the things that you do. It’s not what you have, but how you relate to the things that you have.

It’s an important distinction because if you really get this you will connect the dots…

…and see that this most important thing in your life isn’t caused by anything.

It then can be a choice, a way of relating to the world where you get to decide.

It cannot be given to you and it cannot be taken away from you.

How wonderful is that?

You get to choose to be happy.

So: Choose to be happy. Choose to become that thing which is most important to you.

More on this tomorrow. Stay tuned.

Do you know that person?

Why would you want to spend precious time in your day with your eyes closed? What does it do for the real world?

Well... you know that person, that one inside you?

I do. I learnt to meditate because I wanted him to be around more.

You know... that guy or girl within you who is patient, open and friendly, happy, helpful, able to deal with life easily.

The one that doesn’t worry about their bills or get uptight about doing the things that they have to do.

The one who is able to stand up for themselves and be direct but who is able help everyone win. Who no matter what just lets it go, thinks of something funny to say and gets on.

That one that doesn't throw their dummy when everyone else around them is throwing theirs.

The one that doesn't take anything seriously, yet who is really clear and creative and gets stuff done with the minimum of fuss.

The one that really appreciates the people in their life and takes the time to let them know, who sees the beauty in their world, who is grateful for what they have.

The one that rests content at night in the knowledge that they have played a small part in making the world a better place.

You know that person, right? Inside you?

I know you live a busy life, but stop for a moment. Ask yourself, what is the purpose of your life? Not as in what do you want to do in your life, but how do you want to do it? Are the things in your life as important as the quality of it? What is it that is important to you?

I ask this because, in the pursuit of making the money to make life happen, that person inside all of us gets lost. We get tired, stressed, we make other priorities. We forget what is really important to us in the busy-ness of our day to day, we don't take time to get unstressed.

This is just one of the reasons why I continue to meditate. The more regularly I practice, the more that guy comes out – and the more I become him. I see this for everyone who practices regularly. It is just a matter of stopping and going within, and the knots of busy-ness are allowed to untie around that person inside you.

What would your life be like if he or she came out more regularly? What if you were her or him all the time? Isn't it worth finding out?

Life is so precious. You have no idea how much time you have. Please, whatever you do with your life, you don't want to waste it. Make the most of it, now.

What makes you come alive?

I don't believe people are looking for the meaning of life as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive - Joseph Campbell

Many people spend their life looking for their purpose. They want to find out why they are here. They want to wake up in the morning with a sense of contributing to something, of knowing that they are of use.

Do you know what I mean?

The answer to your life’s purpose lies in the question: What makes you come alive? What is it that you love to do?

The things that make you come alive are the very things that shape your purpose. Get clear on your passions and your gifts and you’ll find your purpose.

Quite often people don’t think that what they love to do is enough, as in “useful” enough. They think it’s too simple, not important or grand enough to make a difference. Or they want to do it more, but they doubt their abilities, or they doubt they can make a living doing it, or whatever.

But when you do what you love to do, what state do you enter?

Aware, absorbed, excited, peaceful, complete, content, joyful, satisfied... alive.

You need to do the things you love to do because it makes your life worth living. Do what you love to do more, simply for you and you may find in the doing so you change the world.

“Don't ask yourself what the world needs - ask yourself what makes you come alive, and then go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” - Harold Thurman

That point of alive presence and stillness that comes when you're immersed in what you love will show you the real key to purpose.

All doubt about what we want to do is dissolved when we fully give ourselves to it. When you’re absorbed in your own presence and awareness, when you stop worrying and start being, there is no doubt.

That is your real purpose: To come alive to such a degree that doubt no longer exists, no matter what you are involved in.

Your being alive speaks volumes, far more than words or noble deeds. People notice your alive presence, and want to really live too.

Your purpose is to be alive, truly alive.

Why do you delay what is most important to you?

Seek first the Kingdom of Heaven and all else shall be added onto you- Jesus Since death is inevitable, why not do as the sages say and see if what they say works - Nisargadatta Maharaj

In every moment there is a choice: We are either turning towards or turning away from peace.

Why do you constantly delay your peace? Do you realise that you do?

So many people postpone. First of all, there is a basic equation that we believe works: “When I have x I shall be y.” When I have my new job I can be peaceful. When I find my soul mate I shall be content. When I lose a few more pounds I will be happy.

Humanity believes there is a middle man to peace. We believe happiness lies in things. Find the right person, possession, pet etc. etc. and all will be well.

The second thing is that we say peace is the most important thing in our life, but it is the first thing out the window. It’s a priority, but how much time do you spend in your day making sure you have peace? Not relative, “I’m okay, I got through that day” kind of peace, but nothing but absolute seamless perfect peace?

Even when you have a simple, effortless meditation technique such as the Ishayas' Ascension that makes peace a direct, continuous and unconditional lived experience, you still delay.

Many don’t use it. Many don't practice like the teachers tell them to. They treat it like an aspirin, taking it off the shelf when times are tough. Or when times are tough it’s the first thing to get dropped.

I don’t want this to be an excuse to beat yourself up, but a chance to see what your priorities are. You don't have to give anything up, just realise what is the most important thing to you. When you do, keep it constantly as the first thing and the last thing in your life.

My teacher once said that for anyone to experience all the wonders of the world that the sages have talked about for millennia is “never a case of can you, but will you”.

What if everything the sages say is true? And if not now, when?