Resistance is futile - there is an easier way.

"You are the only problem you will ever have and you are the only solution." - Bob Proctor

Resistance is the thing that kills all enjoyment and effectiveness.

The cause of all your problems is resisting what is happening.

I get to talk to a lot of people so I get to have a good overall view on what causes people pain and suffering.

Every time any one ever has a problem - and I mean 100% of the time: not even most of the time but all of the time - the problem is caused by resisting what is happening.

I will talk to them and they will use words like “should” or “could”, some kind of idea that involves their ideal present moment.

I will nod, and politely agree, that actually this ideal would be nice, but what is happening right now is different.

Do you see the difference between what is happening and your idea of what should be happening?

The only time you have a problem is when you can’t give up the should.

When you come to terms with what is, when you fully accept it, all your pain goes away.

Then, and only then, you can work with what you have, rather than wishing for something else, or insisting that something else should be happening.

Non-resistance isn’t giving up your dreams or living a passive life, it simply is seeing the clearest way through. It’s full acceptance of the current situation yes, but it doesn't mean stop walking towards what you want. That's giving up.

You really are the source of all problems and all solutions. When you see how you create all peace or pain in your life you will learn true happiness.

It's all within you - which is cause for rejoicing. You are the one person in the whole world you can actually change.

Doing something for nothing

“When someone seeks, then it easily happens that his eyes see only the thing that he seeks, and he is able to find nothing, to take in nothing because he always thinks only about the thing he is seeking, because he has one goal, because he is obsessed with his goal. Seeking means: having a goal. But finding means: being free, being open, having no goal.” - Hermann Hesse

Meditation gives you what you need, not necessarily what you want, and definitely not what you expect. The same might be said about life.

The trouble comes when we’re not innocent, when we have a demand or an expectation of an outcome. If you become present and let go of your expectations, then the trouble goes.

You have a goal, you have an intention or whatever, but it’s almost like you allow it to fulfil itself. You dream, do, act, say, all of that, just let go of what happens next. Attachment to an outcome shrinks your perspective, creates resistance and then hurts.

So when you meditate, don't do it to get - anything. Don't do it to get rid of your thoughts, don't even meditate to have peace or to rest. Don't do it for any reason or for any result, just do it and see what happens.

In life, don't anticipate any result from anything that you do or say. Notice especially when you do or say something in order to get something for yourself. Instead, choose and let go. Act and let go.

Try it. If you do so, you will find it – ironically to the mind – very rewarding.

Be the change...

“Be the change you wish to see in the world” - Gandhi It is a fascinating and inviolable certainty of this world:

What you give tends to be what you get.

If you are smart, and you are smart otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this, you may come to the following conclusion:

If you get what you give it would be a good idea to give what you want to receive.

It works at the most basic level: If you want more hugs, give more hugs. If you want happier people around you, be more happy. If you want more love, give more love.

But it even works at a more subtle and abstract level.

If you want more understanding, give more understanding.

If you want more honesty, be more honest.

More clarity? Be clearer.

More patience and tolerance and mutual respect? Be all of that.

It’s the coolest thing once you see it. Loving, open, happy people have a whole world that is loving and open and happy. They attract very similar people. Scared and anxious people tend to create events and people that make them scared and anxious, giving them more reason to be scared and anxious.

Now: If you find yourself pointing the finger at people and insisting that they are more x, y or z, for whatever reason, it's an excellent sign you need to look at yourself.

Be the change you wish to see in the world. That single act, bringing the focus of change to within yourself changes more than you can possibly imagine. It all starts with you.

Ever tried to actually change someone? In fact, do you realise you try and change all your loved ones? Stop, its futile. People dig their heels in deep when they feel someone is trying to change them. But they do respond to a) openness and b) change in others. It all points back to you.

But don’t take my word for it, do it. Even if you disagree, try it. Prove me (and Gandhi) wrong by putting your money where your mouth is.

Save the world starting with yourself. You are the one person you can change. Might as well get going.

Common spiritual misconceptions #27 - Desires

Once upon a time, I tried living without desires. I’d been reading lots of Buddhist books and it seemed like they talked a lot about desirelessness and how that would make you happy. That’s the trouble with reading things without having someone to ask who actually knows. Having an experienced coach or a teacher makes the path super quick and smooth. There’s no guess work needed on your behalf. There’s no re-inventing the wheel.

But I digress…

So, I tried and I failed. And no wonder - without desire you don’t even get out of bed. You need desire to live, it is what gives your life sparkle. Without desire your life is grey, and a bit pointless.

The only trouble with desire comes when you hold tight to it, when you insist that your happiness depends on a certain desire being fulfilled in a certain way.

Desire is never the deal, its attachment that kicks you.

When you link your happiness with something you will always be disappointed. If you believe you can only be happy on sunny days you are setting yourself up for a lot of time unhappy.

But, if you are happy and content as you are and with what you have, and you enjoy the sun, then sunny days can only make you even happier.

Does that make sense?

Find contentment and gratitude with what you have and who you are. Make that the foundation of every moment. Be in love with your life, exactly as it is. And then go chase what you want to do. Live the life you wish to live. Be and do and have the things you want.

Just discern the difference between living from a foundation of happiness and achieving your desires. Unshackle happiness from desire, and then you can have both. Each and every moment will be a blast, and full, and alive.

Sounds like a good way to live to me.

The end of bad days, right here

Did you know that bad days don't just happen? The only time you have a bad day is when things don't go the way you planned them.  A bad day simply is that reality hasn't met your expectations of what "should" have occurred.

The degree to which it is a bad day, ranging from merely difficult to complete disaster, depends on how much you were fixed on sticking with your plan - ie. how much you resist what is.

Life isn't good or bad, it isn't out to get you sometimes, it just is what it is. Life is constant change. Can you be fluid enough and adapt?

How flexible and fluid you are with what is happening will determine how much freedom you will experience. If you can cultivate an attitude of "how fascinating!" to everything that happens to you, life will become an absolute adventure and never ever "bad".

The end of bad days is all in your attitude. You can step out the door with a plan, but surrender it to an attitude of adventure: "OK! what is going to happen today? Bring it on! I'm ready. And if I'm not ready, I'll just be surprised".

Do this and you'll never have a bad day ever again. I promise you.

Innocence - part 2

When someone seeks, then it easily happens that his eyes see only the thing that he seeks, and he is able to find nothing, to take in nothing because he always thinks only about the thing he is seeking, because he has one goal, because he is obsessed with his goal. Seeking means: having a goal. But finding means: being free, being open, having no goal. - Hermann Hesse

Innocence is having no fixed expectations. It is being fresh, being free, being open. Innocence is the cornerstone of a full life.

Meditation shows you how to regain innocence. Meditation, just like life, gives you what you need, not necessarily what you want, and definitely not what you expect or demand.

In this regard, the path and the goal are the same thing. Innocence and meditation go hand in hand.

So when you sit to meditate, or you simply stop and rest your attention in the essence of this moment, don’t do it for a reason. Don’t do it to get anything. Don’t do it to get rid of your thoughts, to rest. Don’t even do it for peace. Just see what stillness has for you, right in this moment of time.

You’ll find meditation, and life, becomes simple. You’ll become open, receptive to whatever needs to happen. You’ll find contentment because you have let go of expectation.

Innocence means you meet life as it is, pure, without expectation, judgement, or filters.

Some confuse innocence with naivety. I say an innocent life is an authentic life. You are you, without masks or roles or old reactive patterns of behaviour. You are able to meet the need of the moment. You are untouched by change. Each interaction is fresh, new, alive.

Innocence has no agenda. There is no effort in innocence. There is no grasping there either.

Put down your expectations and demands. Rest innocently in the heart of stillness and in all moments all is well.

Innocence - How a fresh attitude changes everything

We do not see things as they are; we see them as we are. We do not hear things as they are; we hear them as we are - The Talmud

You see what you expect to see. The world is created by your expectations. If you wish to engage with the world fully, as it is, you need to drop these filters to reality.

Life is so much easier without expectations.

The Bright Path Ishayas refer to this as being innocent. I like that.

Innocence = having no expectations = no preconceived ideas = no prejudice

There is no better way of instantly experiencing more peace and joy. Having no preconceived ideas about any person or situation means that you can experience things exactly as they are. Instant freedom.

We only experience suffering in life when our experience of it does not meet our expectations. The stronger our expectation the greater the trouble for us. Recognise this?

Innocence has a sense of play about it too. If you're really being innocent and fresh, you cannot possibly be taking anything seriously. Taking things seriously is always the end of enjoyment. Also - If there is such a thing as an omnipresent cosmic intelligence taking an interest in my life, I've found it goes out of its way to poke me when I am being serious. How about you?

Innocence does not mean naivety. It means being open to life changing in unexpected ways. It means having the flexibility to accept this change, thus being in a position to cope, to react creatively, to enjoy the ride. It is an easy, fun, peaceful way to live.

Innocence and Meditation:

We all want something from the practice of meditation. However, what I've found is that meditation will give you what you need and not necessarily what you want. It definitely doesn't give you what you expect.

You are not in control of the experience when you close your eyes. A great deal of healing is taking place. Your meditations will be so much easier and fulfilling if you let go of control and allow whatever happens happen.

Take an attitude of innocence with what is happening. It just doesn't help to fight or insist on a certain experience, so you might as well sit back and relax. If you are using an effective meditation technique it will guide you to the best possible experience. It will give you what you need.

You be innocent and let go of any idea of what should be happening and all your meditations will be easy and restful and enjoyable. Anything else and they get harder and less fun. If you're just beginning, judge progress not just by what happens during your practice time but also in your wider life.

You may find that even though you might have a lot of thoughts when you close your eyes, when you open them you are at rest, you don't react so much, you are more calm and centred.

Give it a try.