The end of bad days, right here

Did you know that bad days don't just happen? The only time you have a bad day is when things don't go the way you planned them.  A bad day simply is that reality hasn't met your expectations of what "should" have occurred.

The degree to which it is a bad day, ranging from merely difficult to complete disaster, depends on how much you were fixed on sticking with your plan - ie. how much you resist what is.

Life isn't good or bad, it isn't out to get you sometimes, it just is what it is. Life is constant change. Can you be fluid enough and adapt?

How flexible and fluid you are with what is happening will determine how much freedom you will experience. If you can cultivate an attitude of "how fascinating!" to everything that happens to you, life will become an absolute adventure and never ever "bad".

The end of bad days is all in your attitude. You can step out the door with a plan, but surrender it to an attitude of adventure: "OK! what is going to happen today? Bring it on! I'm ready. And if I'm not ready, I'll just be surprised".

Do this and you'll never have a bad day ever again. I promise you.

Only you can choose peace or pain

You are constantly choosing your response to life. This choice defines how you live, regardless of the circumstances you find yourself in. This choice is total: You decide whether you live in peace or in suffering. No one and nothing can cause you to suffer; you decide to suffer.

I know it doesn’t feel like this. No one wants to suffer, everyone is looking for a way to avoid it. The trouble is we don’t know how.

We believe our happiness is dependent on the conditions of our life: people, things, events. We choose to feel hurt, stressed, or angry when things don’t go according to expectation, and all because we believe our happiness lies not within us, but is given to us.

If happiness can be given, it can be taken, so we struggle to secure everything: our emotions, bodies, relationships, careers, possessions. All conflict comes from this mistaken belief, all war, all fear.

We have the reality of life back to front. Our inner state is never conditional on what happens or what we have. The external conditions of your life do not create peace, you - and you alone - make the choice to be at peace.

Your birth-right is to know that it isn’t life that brings you happiness, it is you that brings happiness to life. Consistently making this choice brings you beyond suffering, forever.

Imagine - How would life be if you lived like that?

How your mind will try and talk you out of just about anything - and what to do about it

Not feeling so motivated? A little tired? Didn’t sleep so well last night? Whatever you got, just start it. Only do it for 5 minutes, and see what happens.

It gives me a great indicator of either no, it really isn’t going to happen today, or actually yes, and those 5 minutes become much more than that.

Sometimes in life the hardest thing is getting down to business (whatever that may be). The business at hand isn’t an issue, it’s the thought about it causes the most drag.

I remember a yoga teacher I used to go to who always used to say that the hardest part of yoga was rolling out the mat and stepping on it.

He was right, I used to be able to do anything but actually get on the mat. I could spend hours procrastinating before actually sitting down at my computer.

But when I did - and didn’t allow myself to be distracted by facebook or selecting the right playlist for my exercise session or vacuuming the floor because it’s way too dirty - then things moved along nicely.

Now I know that tendency of the mind - to delay, to distract, to declare that the conditions aren’t quite right - it’s simple. I just get on my mat or sit down and get started before I can think about it.

If I still feel not quite right then I give it at least 5 minutes before quitting.

When you know what obstacles your mind will throw up it’s a simple step to ignore them.

Knowing your own mind, its ways and reactions is crucial to living the life you want to live - and all it requires is for you to be aware.

Awareness is simple, and the only time you can be aware is now.

Why acceptance is the best foundation for everything in life

Acceptance doesn’t mean giving up your dreams. It means knowing that right now the path to your goal looks a little different than you expected. It is working with what you have, not trying to push your preferred way through.

Nothing happens for pushy people. Really, it doesn’t. They just make life difficult for everyone around them, including themselves.

Some might say that “the squeaky wheel gets the oil” - the ones that complain get the attention, but in my experience, the most help goes to those who politely, easily and consistently ask for it, working with what they have and not insisting on having something they don’t.

The whole universe responds to someone who, in the words of that well known prayer, has the strength to change the things they can change, the serenity to accept the things they can’t, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Acceptance isn't giving up your dreams or desires. It is knowing that life can only be experienced now. All journeys are made of single steps consisting of the same intention.

Acceptance is the seed that means you choose to be thankful for what you do have, and not be blinded by what you believe to be missing.

Acceptance is the end of the past and the future. Comparison cannot exist in the light of acceptance.

Accept everything, resist nothing.

What to do when you don't like a situation

In any situation you don’t like you have three options: You can change it. If you can’t change it, you can leave it. If you can’t leave, or - very importantly - if you choose not to leave, then you must accept the situation, as it is, completely and utterly.

Most of humanity goes for option #4: Complain about it.

Complaining doesn’t do much. Perhaps as a very short term ‘get rid of steam’ strategy it is okay, but continued complaining just leads to blaming and resentment, more stress and no peace.

See when you choose to complain. Make another choice - it’s all you rationally can do.

But when you accept you also get to see the situation clearly. You get to work with what you have, rather than wasting your time wishing you had something else.

Making the best of what you have - and all the creativity that goes with it - only can begin in complete acceptance.

Acceptance also means you get to see clearly if you can change something about the situation. So often we don't think we can do anything because "that's the way its always been done" or simply because change sometimes takes courage to say "no".

It really is the path of heroes. Accept everything, resist nothing.

Enjoying the process and doing it "better"

Don’t base how committed you are to doing something on momentary success or failure. An attitude of “well, I’ll keep doing it as long as I am good at it” will never result in anything. Everything that you do will have good and bad days - days when everything seems to be swimming along magically and other days when nothing seems to go right.

If you quit because you don’t appear to be “any good” at something in this moment, you will never get better. All learning has phases of seeming “good” and “bad”.

Don’t quit when you hear that voice.

As a baby you weren’t any “good” at walking. Did you quit?

Consider any top athlete - say the tennis player. How many times do you think they practice a particular shot? Millions of times? Probably, right? No matter what, they are out there practicing - in all conditions and in all circumstances.

They’re in it for the long game, they want to master a skill and they know it involves committing to a process.

They’re in it for constant improvement. They’re not in it to be “good”, they’re in it to be “better”.

So - Remove any idea of “doing it good” and “doing it bad” from the equation.

Instead, become interested in “how can I do it better next time?”

Enjoy the process.

A wise man once said that a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

Enjoy each and every one of those steps for what they are.

That way, no matter what, you’ll make the next step and the next, and you’ll reach the top before you know it.

When you frame each and every action in this way, as part of a continually evolving process (= an attitude of constant improvement based in complete contentment of this moment) long term commitment is easy, the path is enjoyable, and greatness is guaranteed.

Makes life, and getting what you want while enjoying it, so much easier.

Have a great day!

Being a hero

It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell.- Buddha

Buddha once said that the most heroic thing that anyone could ever do is face themselves.

If you want more from life, at some stage you will have to take stock and review. If you ever look at yourself honestly, go easy. Be clear and direct but don't judge yourself harshly if you feel you have failed in some way. What is judgement but the very thing that you are leaving?

You have done the best you could, at the time. Now you're in a different position. You see clearer and know better, so you will do better.

Looking within and fully and freely exercising your choice in your life is the most rewarding journey that any human being could ever embark on. The rewards for turning away from stress and limitation are instantaneous, and allow you to see yourself and the result of your choices with even greater clarity. Awareness is a gift.

It may be that sometimes you become aware of poor choices. Wonderful. Keep walking towards what you want. Keep moving, keep making the choices that bring real fulfilment and contentment - not just for some future moment, but now.

Your dream, your vision of your perfect life can be true. It can be true! So many people have this dream. So few are willing to make sure they experience it.

I've got it good in that I'm surrounded by people that remind me of this every time I see them. You may live with people like this or you may not, but you are surrounded by them. All it requires is for you reach out and ask for help.

Reaching out and getting what you need is so simple, but how often do you not? Do it. Do whatever it takes to keep every moment filled with your dream.

Clear, calm, content and fully alive

Where can you be completely at peace? Clear, calm, content and fully alive? Only right here, right now. Where ever you find yourself.

I always tried to control everything: my body, my desires, my emotions, my thoughts, seeking this experience, avoiding that one. Constantly judging. This is right, this is wrong, I am right, I am wrong.

I think everyone does. No wonder lasting peace and contentment eludes the world.

What I’ve found is that peace doesn’t come from control or from having anything sorted. Peace is not found in the future when I have everything the way I think it should be. Peace is here when I let go, when I allow what is, right now, in the unconditional acceptance of who I am and how the world is.

See what happens if you do it. Just for a moment let go. Allow your awareness to fill not with the details of what moves through it, but with what is beyond that. Resting, not seeking, not trying or chasing, leaving control and judgement and becoming acceptance itself.

If you truly embrace this space of absolute acceptance there is no such thing as a mistake, there is no such thing as a wrong experience. Everything that comes up becomes not a step off the path but a chance to be clearer in what is really important to you. You see since you can always let go again now; the past has no influence on your ability to fill yourself up in this moment.

It doesn’t matter what has been. Judge not. It brings you nothing you need. Concern yourself not with what has happened, or what will happen, but what is beyond happening. Peace is there.

Life In Perspective

Nothing surpasses the holiness of those who have learned perfect acceptance of everything that is. In the game of life one plays the hand one is dealt to the best of one’s ability. Those who insist on playing not the hand they were given, but the one they insist they should have been dealt – these are life’s failures. We are not asked if we will play. That is not an option. Play we must. The option is how. - Maharishi Sadashiva Isham

I have a friend who found out a couple of weeks ago he has a tumour in his brain. I just saw him, and he is doing amazing. He is, in his own words, spiritually filled up.

He’s using his Ishayas' Ascension meditation practice more than ever because this news has shown him what stability it brings. He’s not freaking out over what might happen. He’s taking every moment just as it comes. He is receiving so much love, all he wants to do is give as much out as he can. He is so saturated in the goodness of life, and all due to the events of life making things very black and white for him.

Sometimes life just puts things in perspective for you. It shows you what is important and what really isn’t. It shows you what you have control over and what you don’t.

I know life gets busy. I know sometimes life is challenging. But don’t lose sight of what is truly important to you. Don't delay goodness until life looks the way you want it to. You may be waiting a long time for it to look perfect.

We don’t have any control over what happens to us, but we do have control over how we live through what happens. When it is all said and done, the how is the only thing that matters.

Stop fighting for what you can’t control, and start choosing for what you can. Fill this moment up with your presence. Choose to see the good, choose for acceptance, for gratitude, for love, for peace.

Life takes on another dimension when you let go of the "what," and fill each moment with the "how."

Simple and joyful, all the way

The truth is simple, and the living of it will make you laugh. If it’s not simple, it’s simply not the truth.

What I love about the meditation practice I practice - The Bright Path Ishayas' Ascension - is that it is the most simple thing I know, and it isn’t serious at all. The living of truth is a serious business, yet anytime I get serious, there is no truth.

Every holy woman and man I have ever met have been remarkable in the amount of joy they exude. Even when talking about the most serious of topics, the lightness of their being infuses every moment.

No one who has a full and rich experience of inner peace takes themselves seriously for a second.

It’s funny how I thought in order to be free, it involved some complicated knowledge, the gaining of which was a serious pursuit. I remember when I met my first Ishayas. I was wondering about their integrity because they seemed so simple, so innocent. “What could they teach me?” I thought. It turned out to be a lot.

Seriousness and lack of simplicity has become a really good indicator of where I’m off, where I’m complicating things.

It is very very simple just to stop, be aware and sink into this moment. How wonderful is it to know that is all peace requires? It makes any hard work and struggling to seriously attain something just a little bit funny.

How wonderful is it that life can be this simple? How wonderful that experiencing peace in this moment is this simple?

Commitment - what is important to you?

Commitment is the single greatest thing that will bring you what you want.

Anything that you have now is because you made a commitment to it – a commitment of heart and soul to dream it: “Yes, this is important to me” and body and mind to follow through in reality: “I won’t let anything distract me”.

The time we give every day to something is a great indicator of its importance to us. We say so many things are important, and so often we shrug our shoulders and say “I just don’t have enough time”.

Yet if it was truly important to you, you would find the time. My fellow Ishaya Priya put it beautifully:

“’Not having enough time’ is not a reason for something you can’t do, but only an excuse for something you don’t want to do.”

Many times it’s a matter of perspective.

When you first met an Ishaya, chances are they would have asked you a question: “If you could have one thing, anything at all, what would it be?” You would have said something like, peace, love, joy, freedom. All humanity is the same; our highest desire in life is to be free and happy.

That question is powerful because it brings what is truly important to you to light.

Now, how much time every day do you personally spend making sure your highest desire becomes a reality? You say it is the most important thing to you, but I am willing to bet money that actually it ends up way down on your priority list.

Gain some perspective on what is really important to you, and commit to that, truly. Don’t procrastinate. Ensure what is important is reflected in each and every day. You don’t want to live any other way.

Non-attachment: Take nothing seriously

Have strong opinions but keep them lightly held - Philip GoldmanLaugh at what you hold sacred, and still hold it sacred - Abraham Maslow Sacred cows make the best hamburgers – Mark Twain

You may have noticed that the times things get sticky for you are also the times you take things seriously. Seriousness is constriction, holding onto something tightly. It means you cannot be open or flexible or receptive to anything else.

Holding tight means you are guaranteed to hit up against something. Conflict and suffering becomes inevitable. You will set yourself up in opposition to others, but also nature itself.

Nature is change. There is the old story comparing the oak tree with the willow. When a strong wind blows the oak standing stiff and unmoving cracks and breaks; the willow is able to bend with the wind - its strength is in flexibility.

The answer is not to take anything seriously, even that which is most important to you. Have strong opinions but carry them lightly. Be open, receptive and flexible.

Make no demands. Have preferences, strong ones if you wish, but insist not. Hold onto nothing, set nothing in stone.

You may find when you do this the difference between you and your opinions become clear. When someone challenges an opinion tightly held, we believe they are challenging who we are. You see this happening so much in the world – taking things personally leads to so much misunderstanding and conflict.

Your opinions are not you. Your beliefs of how things should happen are not you. All beliefs are simply an idea of what is true from your point of view at this point in time.

The truth is much closer to you than any belief.

The way to constant peace is lined with laughter. Hold onto nothing - take nothing seriously.

Innocence - part 2

When someone seeks, then it easily happens that his eyes see only the thing that he seeks, and he is able to find nothing, to take in nothing because he always thinks only about the thing he is seeking, because he has one goal, because he is obsessed with his goal. Seeking means: having a goal. But finding means: being free, being open, having no goal. - Hermann Hesse

Innocence is having no fixed expectations. It is being fresh, being free, being open. Innocence is the cornerstone of a full life.

Meditation shows you how to regain innocence. Meditation, just like life, gives you what you need, not necessarily what you want, and definitely not what you expect or demand.

In this regard, the path and the goal are the same thing. Innocence and meditation go hand in hand.

So when you sit to meditate, or you simply stop and rest your attention in the essence of this moment, don’t do it for a reason. Don’t do it to get anything. Don’t do it to get rid of your thoughts, to rest. Don’t even do it for peace. Just see what stillness has for you, right in this moment of time.

You’ll find meditation, and life, becomes simple. You’ll become open, receptive to whatever needs to happen. You’ll find contentment because you have let go of expectation.

Innocence means you meet life as it is, pure, without expectation, judgement, or filters.

Some confuse innocence with naivety. I say an innocent life is an authentic life. You are you, without masks or roles or old reactive patterns of behaviour. You are able to meet the need of the moment. You are untouched by change. Each interaction is fresh, new, alive.

Innocence has no agenda. There is no effort in innocence. There is no grasping there either.

Put down your expectations and demands. Rest innocently in the heart of stillness and in all moments all is well.

Life is but a game

In this game of life one of the critical realizations is that you, as an individual, get to define what winning is. You set the goal posts.

There is a dominant definition of success in our culture, for sure. A successful life, the theory goes, meets certain criteria and includes certain experiences. If you have this job or status or amount of money in the bank or live in that neighbourhood then you are a success.

But what about how much you enjoy the game? What about how fulfilled you feel?

The beauty of the game of life is that you can agree or disagree with any idea of success. What winning is for you personally is totally and only up to you. How can you play if you don’t like what the goal of the game is? Exactly. So, you decide.

Anthony de Mello once wrote something I think is just superb. He said:

Nothing surpasses the holiness of those who have learned perfect acceptance of everything that is.  In the game of life one plays the hand one is dealt to the best of one’s ability.  Those who insist on playing not the hand they were given, but the one they insist they should have been dealt – these are life’s failures.  We are not asked if we will play.  That is not an option.  Play we must.  The option is how.

How you play needs to be everything to success.

Sometimes you just don’t have control over the external ‘bits’ of life: where you find yourself or what is happening. Just like a rollercoaster there will be ups and downs. If the basis of your personal definition of winning is in the internal aspect - how at peace or content or happy you are - the possibility of success in the game of life will be available to you in each and every moment.

You are in charge of how at peace you are with what is. How you respond to the ups and downs of life is up to you. You can enjoy it, or not, but this enjoyment isn’t based on anything but your response. Treat life just as if it was a game where winning isn’t so much about what you have but what you are.

So play, and play well, but keep your eye on your big picture. What’s the most important thing to you? Is it having something or being happy? Respond accordingly.

Don’t be afraid, you can’t get it wrong. You define the game, and can change that definition at any time. The only thing you could do ‘wrong’ is hold yourself back from fully playing your game. There aren't any real winners or losers, only those who had an amazing ride, finding complete enjoyment, or those that didn’t.

It’s totally up to you. Play, be full on, have fun.

Innocence - How a fresh attitude changes everything

We do not see things as they are; we see them as we are. We do not hear things as they are; we hear them as we are - The Talmud

You see what you expect to see. The world is created by your expectations. If you wish to engage with the world fully, as it is, you need to drop these filters to reality.

Life is so much easier without expectations.

The Bright Path Ishayas refer to this as being innocent. I like that.

Innocence = having no expectations = no preconceived ideas = no prejudice

There is no better way of instantly experiencing more peace and joy. Having no preconceived ideas about any person or situation means that you can experience things exactly as they are. Instant freedom.

We only experience suffering in life when our experience of it does not meet our expectations. The stronger our expectation the greater the trouble for us. Recognise this?

Innocence has a sense of play about it too. If you're really being innocent and fresh, you cannot possibly be taking anything seriously. Taking things seriously is always the end of enjoyment. Also - If there is such a thing as an omnipresent cosmic intelligence taking an interest in my life, I've found it goes out of its way to poke me when I am being serious. How about you?

Innocence does not mean naivety. It means being open to life changing in unexpected ways. It means having the flexibility to accept this change, thus being in a position to cope, to react creatively, to enjoy the ride. It is an easy, fun, peaceful way to live.

Innocence and Meditation:

We all want something from the practice of meditation. However, what I've found is that meditation will give you what you need and not necessarily what you want. It definitely doesn't give you what you expect.

You are not in control of the experience when you close your eyes. A great deal of healing is taking place. Your meditations will be so much easier and fulfilling if you let go of control and allow whatever happens happen.

Take an attitude of innocence with what is happening. It just doesn't help to fight or insist on a certain experience, so you might as well sit back and relax. If you are using an effective meditation technique it will guide you to the best possible experience. It will give you what you need.

You be innocent and let go of any idea of what should be happening and all your meditations will be easy and restful and enjoyable. Anything else and they get harder and less fun. If you're just beginning, judge progress not just by what happens during your practice time but also in your wider life.

You may find that even though you might have a lot of thoughts when you close your eyes, when you open them you are at rest, you don't react so much, you are more calm and centred.

Give it a try.