What I learned from a rapper about balance

When I was a little bit younger I loved a band called Faithless - I loved them even more when I read an interview with one of the members.

I knew he was a rapper and he loved to drive his racing car on track days, but I almost fell over when he talked about how he was a Buddhist.

See, I had thought the two worlds were separate.

On one hand you could choose to have all the good things in life - for me that extended to paddling rivers, snowboarding, cool music (well I thought so), telling dodgy jokes with my friends, having people over and nurturing them with good food and wine.

Or, you could have a spiritual life. You could find peace and purpose.

There wasn’t a crossover.

Yet here was a guy who was obviously enjoying driving fast and dancing all night who didn’t consider his spiritual self to be separate from that.

I remember him saying that his Buddhist practice meant he became more real, more authentic to himself.

There wasn’t a trying to become some one else, different. He enjoyed his life, his passions, even more.

I think that’s why I had no doubts about becoming an Ishaya monk.

The Ishayas lived both parts of life so fully.

I found them to be absolutely calm and centred, yet so passionate and excited, enjoying and unapologetic for their own personalities and tastes.

They were balanced people - busy and productive yet they made sure they took time out to rest and nurture.

If you want all of life, everything that it has to offer, follow their example.

You don’t have to give anything up. You can have it all.

You don’t need to change - you have everything you need, already within you.

You just need to remember. In that remembering, be balanced.

Can you remember now?

The more you remember, the more that becomes a habit. The more it becomes a habit, the more the best of life comes and gets you.

A great state to be in.

Have your cake and eat it too. Don’t go changing for peace.

All about habits, not hobbits

So this fellow and I are having this discussion which takes a moment or two to really get going, simply because he was talking about habits and I thought he said hobbits, as in hairy-toed short people. Don't worry - we sorted it out in quick time and were onto much more fruitful pastures.

It's all because I'm not native to this land being from New Zealand, and certain accents take a little, actually a lot, of focus to grasp.

Reminds me of the time that I met a true Geordie, from Newcastle, who upon hearing I used to live in Mexico tried to engage me in Spanish. Tricky to understand him speaking English let alone in Espanol, which is average in me at best.

But I digress. What became obvious is this:

There are some things which are comfortable to you - habitual you might say.

Because they are habitual you have set your life up around them - they are also convenient.

But just because they are comfortable and convenient does not make them life affirming and beneficial.

You have habits that add to your life, you have habits that don’t.

There are a thousand things you can and do fall into when you just want comfort.

Alcohol, drugs, sugar, porn, gambling, shopping, train-spotting…

Take a look at your life, what do you use?

Have you ever noticed that doing something different - even if it is life affirming and “good for you” - is rarely ever comfortable?

Like starting an exercise regime. Definitely not comfortable on a physical level, it hurts. It hurts on a pride level because you used to be so much fitter, it was so much easier…

But there is something in it.

You do it because you want to move on, you want to move forward.

Now, I believe you are reading this because you aren’t satisfied with mere comfort.

You’ve tried comfort and you want more.

You are okay being uncomfortable in order to really see what this life has to offer.

You are okay with at least the idea of giving up something in order to gain something greater.

And that is the point -

All habits are comfortable.

Because of this, you only need discipline for as long as it takes for a new way to become a habit.

Then it becomes filled with comfort. You didn’t know how you lived without the new way.

The rewards of the habit become convenient, close, quick and coming quicker.

You have become a different person, bigger, with a clearer perspective.

Finding time to sit down to meditate - for those who Ascend, sitting down to Ascend - is rarely comfortable in the beginning.

The doing is pleasurable, it brings enormous benefits in terms of rest, healing, clarity, effectiveness, joy and peace…

…but it may not be comfortable to break your other habits - in the beginning.

It may require you to turn off the TV, hide your phone in the next room, log out of Facebook…

It may require a little discipline - in the beginning.

Expect the resistance and do it anyway.

Crack on, because your life will become far more comfortable with it than without it.

Choose your habits wisely!

...and you definitely can choose your habits, just don’t expect comfort in the beginning.

Willing to take a moment to honestly look at yourself?

If you have been reading for a while you will be well familiar with the question, “do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?” I love this question, it gives instant clarity.

If you are willing, take a moment, look within.

See all the places where you want to be right more than you value your own happiness, or for that matter, the happiness of another.

Look at how you might lose your cool to win an argument.

Or how you might sulk and get grumpy because your partner did something wrong to you.

Or how you “need” someone to understand you so you push your point of view across.

I really hope I don’t sound dramatic, but the Paris killings - they are the extreme conclusion of putting wanting to be right before being happy.

What kind of world would we live in if all the people put happiness first?

Look within.

What can you do to make sure you personally prioritise being happy rather than trying to be right?

It's not true when you believe you can't do anything

It’s easy to think that you can do nothing. Or that the things you do don’t make a difference.

But your being and presence speaks louder than any noble words or great deeds coming from someone who, say, is distracted.

In this way the small things that you do count for so much.

When you have your heart in what you do, that is, when you are completely present and alive, everything has a depth to it, it has real substance.

Just a simple “thank you” and a smile to the shop keeper carries so much when you are fully behind it.

Every small action becomes alive, it touches and changes others in ways that you will never know.

In a world where so many are not present to their words and actions, being fully and completely with someone can be a little bit of a shock to them.

But it shows you want to relate to them on a different level, they’re not just another person, that they too make a difference to you.

Fully show up for life - be fully behind each and everything you do and say.

There was a great German monk called Meister Eckhart back in the day, who once said,

“If the only prayer you said was thank you, that would be enough.”

Just that alone makes a difference.

Change your heart, change your being, it changes more than you could ever know.

- Arjuna

ps. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for all the small things, all the small endeavours, the kindnesses, the smiles, the jokes that you bring. Thank you for the calm, the space to be accepted, for the love that you are.

Paris: What can you do in the face of violence?

In hearing the news of the Paris killings there can be such a feeling of powerlessness and of fear. I know that was my first reaction.

My fiance's brother and his fiance live in Paris. Brings everything a little closer to home when you know someone on the scene.

Don’t be filled with fear. It’s a deep dark hole that one - stay out of it. Fear doesn’t help any one, least of all yourself.

That powerlessness - that’s what any kind of violence or oppression is all about: Just roll over. Give in. Be fearful. You can't do anything. Do what we say.

But what can you do?

The only answer I have is to point the finger at your own heart. Ask yourself:

What can I do to make the world a better place?

Can you help increase the amount of kindness, calmness, compassion, connection and understanding in yourself and in the world?

Can you make another choice to move beyond hate and fear, prejudice and confusion?

Can you help prioritise peace, harmony and love over anything else?

Yes, yes you can.

I think in times like these our internal and external choices become even more critical.

Ask yourself not only what can you do, but what will you do?

Take care, with love and respect for everything that you do.

Friday 13th! Shock and horror? or Awe and wonder?

Friday the 13th! Loving it. Is it bad luck? Was that black cat walking in front of you good luck or not so good luck?

I can’t remember for the life of me.

What I do remember - and love - is when I realised that I created my own luck.

When I was a young fella I told myself that every time I saw a bird that it meant I was going to have a wonderful day.

Had quite a few great days starting from that basis.

Then there was the time I decided that every thing, every single thing that happened to me, all of it was so I could grow bigger and better and bolder and have more fun.

And do you know what?

Everything that happened from that point on was clearly so I could learn more and become more! Amazing huh?!

Everything was so I could be more bold, or more humble, or more present, or more fluid, or more clear, or more forgiving, or more communicative, or less whiney…

Amazing how it works...

It was like I had miraculously enrolled in some crash course in evolution.

“You want the greatest life possible…? Coming right up!”

Boom, boom, boom.

It’s your choice whether you let something define you or whether you define it.

What do you want?

Are you going to allow something to control and shape you? Or do you say, well actually here’s how I see it? Do you shape it how you see fit?

Good news or bad? Disaster or opportunity?

Which one was it again?

Keep on going out there. You can do this.

Mastery in action, practice makes perfect.

When stopping means you actually go forward

I've got a five day Ascension retreat on here at the moment, and I’m loving it. We - the fiance (I only use that word as it rhymes with Beyonce) and I and a few good men - are doing the whole thing, teaching, cooking, cleaning. I’m doing more dishes this week than I’d usually do in a month.

Loving it.

Because it’s so good to give people the space just to do nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

Amazing things happen from periodic spells of doing nothing.

You can see the retreaters unwinding, their faces literally changing, softening, becoming lighter.

They come into the kitchen and share their discoveries - had a lady find me this morning as I was tackling a particularly sticky pot:

“Look what I’ve been doing all my life” she said and then proceeded to laugh her arse off, as she realised she just didn’t need to do that thing any more, ever again.

All of them, ditching narrow reactive habits for freedom and awareness and choice.

Being worry and doubt free for perhaps the first time since childhood.

Getting clear and focussed on what they want from life, and setting real plans to go get it.

I love it.

You want that too?

You can have it.

Stop.

Sometimes to retreat is to advance.

You need little spells in your day, time outs. Even if you just sit somewhere quiet and simply breathe - deep and slow.

Close the eyes, notice the breath. Coming in, going out. Keep it easy.

Doesn’t make your problems go away. But it gives you clarity and perspective.

Lets you stop worrying unnecessarily.

Gives you insight into what you can do, and what you need let go for the moment.

If you like a good, productive, enjoyable, stress free life, it’s got to be done.

It’s got to be done.

What is your priority today?

So in your urgent list of things to do today, what will you make your foundation? You may have sorted the “what you need to do”, have you sorted the how?

In other words, what mode of operation are you prioritising today?

Is it get everything done, no matter what?

Or stay calm, clear and centred, no matter what?

I’m not saying don’t be busy, don’t get excited, don’t get passionate, or be real and honest…

What I mean is don’t lose it - whatever “it” may be to you.

Feel yourself winding up, getting a little tense at work?

What is the priority of today, of your life?

Take a moment. Come back down.

Feeling a little down, or negative? A few doubts or worries running amok in your head?

Are you going to entertain them, or choose to do something different?

Take a moment, shift your attention.

Life is too short to get wound up in the little stuff.

Or even the big stuff for that matter.

Stay cool, keep having fun.

It is a habit you can create, for sure. And it’s worth everything.

OK?

Today, prioritise peace first.

Tomorrow, you may want to do the same thing.

Cause for regret? or cause for hope?

We’ve all had things that we have done, or have had done to us, that cause regret, anger, dismay. But have you ever considered that your past - all of it - has brought you right here, to this moment, to being the person who is looking through your eyes at these words?

Without your past you wouldn’t be here, right now.

It can be a cause for hope. From your past understanding you can create a different future.

Knowing what you know, given that you can choose to see the glass as half full or half empty, where do you want to go now? How do you want to play this?

It’s never too late. You can create a different future for yourself and everyone else anytime you wish.

My Ascension meditation teacher - a very wise man - once told me that the reason I experienced everything in the past was so I could help others from experience.

When someone sits with me and shares a story about their past that relates to mine, it’s simple. I know because I have lived through it too. If I hadn’t lived through it, how could I hope to relate?

Sometimes the silver lining is in the understanding.

Because of your past you understand to a deeper level. Because of the understanding, you can truly help another. Theory is nothing, experience is everything.

If you regret anything at all, it’s simply because you are now different. You wouldn’t regret it if you hadn't changed.

You can regret the time spent stumbling in the dark, or you can embrace the fact that right now, the light is on.

If you are still doing the same things that cause you regret, when are you going to get help to make sure you change? Doing the same things and expecting a different result is lunacy.

Now, you can make any decision, any choice you wish. You may have habits and addictions to the contrary, but why not start by making the choice to do and see life differently?

The more you make a different choice, the more that choice will become habit. A habit is a word that means natural - easy in other words.

You only stand to lose regret, anger and dismay yet you stand to gain everything - hope, joy, contentment, presence, expansion, Life.

Each and every moment can be filled with contentment, clarity and calm. Every moment. Why not start now?

The Force - it is within you.

I went to see the Martian last night, which I enjoyed so much. I know I’m a bit slow and behind the times, but I got there. I like Matt Damon a lot, my fiancé (rhymes with Beyonce) is a little jealous. She has no reason to be, I mean he lives in California or somewhere so there’s no chance of us meeting.

But the best thing was seeing the new Star Wars trailer on the big screen.

I have always loved all those films. The biggest thing being the Force, the idea of this unseen power that can allow anyone to do incredible feats.

There is a line in there, where the voice over goes - “the Force, it’s within you”, and I got all goose bumpy.

You see, its not fiction.

There is nothing that anyone can give you that is worth as much as that which is already inside you.

Within you is an absolute presence - still and complete.

If you carefully and completely pay attention to the essence of this moment, if you open up your senses to now, you will find an expanded sense of your own awareness.

There is nothing missing, it stretches forever, there are no boundaries, it is a moment of perfection that can only be experienced now. It needs nothing but gives you everything.

There is no struggle, no suffering, only perfect contentment and awareness.

When you are full of this presence, no thought, no emotion, no habit has any power over you. You are fresh, complete, alive.

I, or anyone else, can remind you of this presence, I can teach you tools so you can remind yourself of it, but no one can give it to you - because it is already you.

The magic pill would be nice to give out, but unfortunately it's the one thing that you need to do by yourself.

You are the one that needs to choose for it.

Explore within, explore your awareness, find and live from that presence. It is the greatest thing you possess. It is the only thing you truly possess, it is truly who you are.

Live that and be completely and effortlessly alive.

It is so simple and so natural to do, you just need to do it.

The King eats first.

If the king doesn’t eat, no one gets to eat. If the queen is empty, how can she look after her people?

If you don’t look after yourself, you can’t do anything for anyone. If the head isn’t right, the body can’t follow.

Have you sat down to meditate today?

Have you done the things you know you need to do that nourish and strengthen you?

You do that because you think that you by looking after everyone else first, you help them.

You don’t.

You need to make sure you get in what you need to do for yourself, every day.

When you’re at 100%, everyone wins.

If you’re not, no one wins.

It isn’t selfish. It’s getting to know what you need to do, every day, that brings you to a place where you can totally be at your best, to be of service, to be absolutely alive.

My coach Paul Mort reminded me of this crucial fact this very morning. Brilliant reminder. So good having someone on the outside to keep you aligned with what you want to do.

The King has responsibilities. The King needs to be on top of his game.

Whatever it is you’re doing right now - stop.

Do the thing you need to do to nurture yourself - even if it’s just for 10 minutes.

Meditate - Ascend.

Programme that into your day, every day.

Work around it, don’t let it slip. Don’t “fit it in”  - schedule it.

It requires a small amount of commitment, of discipline - but you do that and it becomes a habit.

It starts out as needing some effort, some sacrifice, but you do it enough and it just becomes natural - something you do.

So do it!

The King eats first.

_____________

The best tools for an end to all self-doubt, all worry, all anxiety, all fear, all self-sabotage?

For being super clear, for having a sense of well-being that is so beyond the petty ups and downs, the silly dramas?

and the big challenges, so you sail through without losing it?

to be as stable as a mountain, to fully enjoy each and every single moment?

To live the best life possible…

All here, so simple:

The Bright Path Ishayas’ Ascension - 20/22 November

Take a deep breath - when you get excited

Take a deep breath… It is the simplest of things, and yet chances are you don’t notice it - until it’s gone.

You never know how much you appreciate a deep breath until you aren’t able to have one for a while.

Largely un-noticed, your breath comes in and out, all day long. Never stopping, always there, keeping you alive.

But it can be a great tool as well.

If you ever like to put yourself into times and places where there is a possibility for extreme excitement and the beginnings of anxiety,

or perhaps you are a little prone to panic attacks,

having a solid practice of deep breathing behind you can be a real anchor - to keep you present, to keep you in a steady state.

Public performers like musicians and actors or sports people know that shift from practice to game on…

You’re doing the same thing, but now everyone is watching, now it really matters.

You want to do it, you want to do a good job, and your body knows it.

So you do your best to stay present, stay out of the future in terms of not dwelling on the outcome, simply involving yourself in what you can do right now that will take you where you want to end up.

But still your heart is banging in your chest.

Deep breathing can really help - as does the Ascension techniques used eyes open - as long as you are aware it might not help the physical, the hand tremors, the heart rate, the yawning.

Don’t fight those - expect them, and make sure the inner experience is as steady as it can be.

Breathing does help you stay anchored to the present, to this moment, to not allow the excitement become over the top anxiety.

It keeps the emotion at a steady, manageable point.

And then you can fall back on what you have practiced, you can allow your body to take over.

That is the other key - you need to practice in times of excitement/anxiety.

There is no point in only practicing when it doesn’t matter. To really master anxiety in that you can feel it and perform exceptionally despite it, you just need to do it.

To step into those times, prepared as well as you can, and then just let it happen.

Expect the terror and do it anyway. Again and again and again. You’ll get better.

The reason you are excited is because it matters to you.

If it didn’t matter you probably wouldn’t be doing it - or it wouldn’t be a stretch for you.

You can stay in your safe zone all of your life, or you can step outside to where the magic is.

Make sure you have the tools so you can, simply.

You coming to the Bright Path Ishayas’ Ascension course?

So simple, no breathing is required.

If you haven’t learnt the Bright Path Ishayas’ Ascension, you should.

If you have, isn’t it time you repeated the weekend?

Retreat weekend - 20-22 November

Richmond, North Yorkshire

£200 - repeat as many times as you like for free, anywhere in the world, with all the support for the rest of your life, also completely for free.

Come stay with the family if you’re from out of town. 2 hours from Edinburgh by fast train, 2.5 from London. Simple.

I don’t know how I can make learning the tools to be free of struggle any easier.

Email me for more details, or click here for more.

Mr T and the good life.

Living the best life possible is absolutely possible. Before I started on this Ishaya meditation path I had the suspicion that there was more to life than what I was living.

You know that inkling that perhaps there was something missing, or something more?

That’s what I had.

Nothing really satisfied. I was happy, and doing well at my job, doing the best I could with life, but there wasn’t deep contentment with all of it.

I found that came with a simple practice of being very present and aware right now.

Learning the Bright Path Ishayas’ Ascension helped immeasurably. It made being alive, right now in this moment, super simple.

But also important was the means to make life about my own choices. To be clear when I was choosing to struggle with something.

…when I was trying to change something that I had no ability to change.

…when I was grasping for something that wasn’t here.

It’s so clear now when I put it like that, but it wasn’t at the time.

And so I worked at it.

I used being in a struggle as a great wake-up Mr T style “what you doin’ fool?!” alarm for me.

You know Mr T… if you don’t You Tube him. He’s my motivational guy - uncompromising but allows me laugh at myself too.

I tried to make it a game…

When life got even a little bit tough, I took it as a cue to look at myself and what I was doing to push and fight in the situation and create a struggle…

I looked at me, not anywhere else

…so I could stop, so I could change course, so I could make another choice.

And so through practice, through making it a game, through doing it until I knew it… life is not a struggle anymore.

I haven’t “got” anything. I’m constantly learning. Constantly exploring more.

But it's exciting. Life makes sense. There isn’t anything missing. Nothing.

Life keeps getting better.

If I can do it, you can do it too.

Life never has to be a struggle.

There are things that will happen that you will not like. There are things and goals that you do want.

But you can flow through life without struggle, without fight, with always a sense of contentment and clarity in your heart, no matter what.

And I am going to remind you as much as I can that life can be a wonderous, fulfilling, constantly exciting, enjoyable thing.

And the thing that counts in that is you.

Your choices make your life.

You may not have control over the circumstances, but you can certainly have control over your reactions.

You may not know how. That is ok.

The key thing, the thing to begin with is always the dream - the possibility that life can be continually and constantly better, that you can be the best version of yourself.

I have even written a little book all about it. I am very excited about it, because it has certainly been long time coming, and the editor is doing her best to make it readable. But I’ll tell you more on that later.

Make this day super enjoyable… okay? The first day of the rest of your life.

________________

If you haven’t learnt the Bright Path Ishayas’ Ascension, you should. If you have, isn’t it time you repeated the weekend?

Retreat weekend - Richmond, North Yorkshire 20-22 November

£200 - repeat as many times as you like for free, anywhere in the world, with all the support for the rest of your life, also completely for free.

Come stay with the family if you’re from out of town. Nearest train station is 2 hours from Edinburgh by fast train, 2.5 from London. Simple.

I don’t know how I can make learning the tools to be free of struggle any easier. Your call!

Email me for more details, or click here for more.

What is the problem?

I recently did a survey amongst my email list (sign up ---->). What they loved about life, what they found a struggle. Several people said it gave them clarity and perspective. Those two words are among my favourite words, but more on them in a minute.

If you are like the guys on my list then you love life, that much is obvious. It’s pretty good, even great, for most of you, most of the time.

You know what you love about life, and you experience it a lot - but there is definitely room for more goodness.

Similar things cause you to struggle, to worry. The future, money and careers, relationships and your loved ones, health, what this life is all about and making sure you make the most of it.

I think I knew these things, having been around the block a bit, but it’s nice to hear it from you. It’s nice to have it confirmed.

So what do we do about it?

What do you do so you live the good things more, and are able to deal with the not-so-good?

Many people were super clear that it was their own minds that are the biggest cause of trouble for them.

The problem is one thing, and then your mind adds by far the deepest layer of trouble on top of that.

If I could give you that magic pill that would fix any problem, it wouldn’t change a thing about your life.

If I gave you a magic pill that changed your life for you, it would be great for a little while but then your mind would inevitably find a way to re-create the old struggles and dramas - just in a different setting.

Instead, my magic pill would consist of clarity and perspective.

It would give you the ability to continually and clearly know that it is your own mind that creates the hugest chunk of problem.

It would give you the ability to see the tricks of your mind, it’s patterns, it’s ways and it’s anxieties and addictions…

… to be clear on these things would be the most valuable thing you could ever possess.

Because then you could choose to change your attitude, change your perspectives, change your habit of being in the future, or the past.

The magic pill would give you the ability to think and communicate and act from clarity and perspective continually…

…and then you would see how you create your own peace and your own pain.

…and you would have constant stability, no matter what the world threw at you.

…and then you could change your own life, and keep changing it, however you wished.

…and you could show others how to as well.

Your mind doesn’t need to change to have the best life possible, you just need to gain insight, perspective, clarity.

How?

Become aware.

When you’re struggling… why? See your part in it all.

Close your eyes, every day. Meditate. Get to know that little guy or girl in your head so well you don’t buy into their tricks.

Create a glass half-full attitude and mindset.

Make the most of the good, find a way to accept, change or leave the bad.

Get some strategies that work for you.

Stay inspired. It may not happen over night, but it will happen. Living the best life possible is worth committing to.

And this is what I’ll be doing with the email group too (sign up above), helping you out with my view on it all.

Til, next time - keep the peace!

Keep it simple.

Focus on the simple things. Best advice that I have ever been given.

Life is so easy when you keep it simple. And becomes so extraordinarily tricky when we don’t.

Saw something I posted on Facebook years ago. It was actually a nice reminder.

The image had the following words on it:

Why complicate life?

Missing someone? - Call them Want to meet up? - Invite Want to be understood? - Explain Have questions? - Ask Don’t like something? - Say it Like something? - State it Want something? - Ask for it Love someone? - Tell them

A little cheese perhaps, but how often are you this straight up and clear?

We actually think too much about things, and often times in the thinking create a problem that doesn’t exist.

We create unnecessary drama, all in our own head.

We don’t just declare what we want. We expect people to give it to us, to mind read. Ever do that in a romantic relationship? (No? Are you sure?)

We read into comments, facial expressions, actions and in-actions, and interpret intentions and feelings and then create a future that isn’t actually real.

We take a lot of things personally. “She’s looking grumpy and it’s all because she thinks I’m an idiot.” Nope, she just has trouble with her digestion.

All a waste of energy.

Keep it simple.

Be as clear as you can.

You want something? Ask clearly as possible, and see what happens.

Think someone thinks badly of you? Go and have a quiet chat, see if it is so.

Appreciate what someone does for you? Make them aware of your appreciation.

Uncertain? Seek clarification, sooner rather than later.

Have something to say? You have to say it.

You have to contribute to your life, otherwise you are just a spectator, and likely to be an increasingly frustrated one at that.

Be bold and keep it simple!

You will have more fun and have more energy. And you will help others to the same.

Get off the rollercoaster.

The reason I learnt to meditate and the reason I became a Bright Path Ishaya monk was that I was tired of the rollercoaster. All I wanted was stability, a point of reference, some control.

Not external stability, all was well there, I was living exactly the life that I wanted.

But having everything on my tick list did not equal contentment or satisfaction. There was something missing. I had this continually nagging doubt, a voice that constantly said “Is this it?”.

Drove me a little mad that voice did.

I was tired of being up and then down. I was tired of pining after my ex-girlfriend who didn't want me. I was tired of the worry about this or that. I was tired of looking for something - something I knew not. I was tired of not being satisfied.

I was so tired of looping around in my head, thinking the same thoughts, worrying the same worries, wishing the same wishes.

I was tired of my own mind.

What was this life all about?

What I found was exactly what my swimming coach said to me back when I was a wee fellow of fifteen with Olympic dreams in my head.

He said the mental game was the most important game there is.

It is the foundation for everything.

Without the mental game, all the best preparation, all the best intentions, all the best goal setting in the world is for nothing.

Getting your mind sorted means you have a very fertile foundation for everything you want to do life.

In any and every area of your life - sports, business, parenting, relationships, art, music, study, health. Everywhere.

When you get a good mental game, when you learn to be the boss of your mind (and not let it be the other way around), every part of your life improves.

You get better at what you do, instantly.

And you also lose that sense of something being wrong or missing.

You become content.

You become happy for no reason.

You get off the rollercoaster.

Now, I became a monk so you don’t have to. You don’t have to give a single thing up. In fact the only thing you have to give up is limitation.

We live largely in a box defined by the limits of our minds.

Every now and then we get to see a sneak view of the world as it is - and it is wonderful.

And then the mind takes over again.

The mind is the source of all your happiness, all your sorrow.

If you want to live outside of the box, you have to learn to put the mind back in its place. You have to.

It’s easy to do. Simple, just not many people really know how to permanently be the boss of their own minds.

How?

Be super present. Choose to be right here.

Simple huh? Easy, perhaps not so.

The thing is it can be.

Come along to my mini-retreat weekend course 20-22 November and I will give you everything you need to live free as a bird, to make it simple and easy.

I will give you every tool I use and tell you everything I know. I promise. I don't hold back.

If you want a place send me an email and tell me you want in.

Enjoy your day!

Watch your head - don't let it be the boss.

The Silver Lining.

What is a good result?

Is it getting what you want in the short term? Or having a deeper understanding, a better perspective, “growing as a person” because you didn’t get what you wanted?

Have you ever lived through something that wasn’t pleasant at the time but now when you look back, you’re actually glad it did happen, simply because a lot of good came from it?

When my mum died, fairly young, of cancer - that wasn’t a good time. But it was the most amazing of times too, simply because I got to know her on such a deeper level. It was quality time, indeed. The same with my brother. I am so much closer to him now than ever before.

The silver lining, and one that may not have happened if mum hadn't gotten sick, is that I no longer have the mediocre relationships I used to have with my family.

The other thing that became so clear was that any future thoughts, with all the doctors’ prognoses (of which there were plenty) and lots of worry about mum, only led to suffering. I had to be very present otherwise I would instantly dissolve into a ball of worry and anxiety.

I got to see my mind clearly, and didn't go there. It was too painful.

So I was super present, and was able to be with mum as she was, not as I thought she would be in the future. We actually had a lot of fun.

The fact is you can frame any experience any way you want. It can be good, it can be bad. That label changes you.

I say always choose to see the good. If it’s a challenging situation you especially need to find a silver lining. Find a benefit to you and focus on that.

There is a story that my meditation teacher tells. He doesn’t tell it so often anymore, probably because he knows that his students steal all his best ideas quickly, so he has to constantly come up with new material.

But it’s about a villager who, to cut a long story short, has an amazing thing happen to him. He shrugs his shoulders and says “Good news? Bad news? Who knows?”. The next day the amazing thing has lead to something terrible. Again, he shrugs his shoulders and says “Good news? Bad news? Who knows?”. The next day the terrible thing turns out to be a blessing in disguise, and again, he simply shrugs, and says “Good news? Bad news? Who knows?”.

Who knows why things happen? Who knows what will happen next? I don’t.

Just assume all is good. In this moment focus on the silver lining. Make the most of what you have. Be wide open and see what happens next. You may be surprised.

Have a great weekend - enjoy each and every moment of it.

___________________________

Want the greatest tools for being mentally fit, fluid and free? Weekend retreat in Richmond, North Yorkshire, 20-22 November Coming would be one of the best decisions you ever make...

You don't need to trust.

Funny thing trust.

Life is here, right in front of you. Life is what is here.

In this moment, now, all of your past can be just a story. All of your future, an idea, a hope and a dream. Impossible to tell or control.

When you embrace the experience of being present, everything gets simple. You realise what you are in control of and what you simply must accept as being beyond control.

Trust isn’t necessary here. Reality becomes so clear. Trust is only necessary when you are trying to control the future, when you are trying to control the uncontrollable.

And I hope you soon come to experience how stressful control is, because it is wicked.

Trying to force through what you want in life is tough. It means you are constantly referencing your plans for the future, trying to juggle balls you have no control over, attempting to manipulate others to your preferred way, and absolutely missing out on the simple joy of this moment.

The answer?

As always - simply return to now. Become present and alive to here.

The more you do that, the more you will see that any fear, any control comes from a thought about the future. That the thought is the terrifying thing - not the reality of right here.

If you can distinguish the difference between the reality of your situation, right now, and the fear of a future, life will be so much simpler for you. One you can control, one you cannot.

You must let go, because anything else is crazy. Worrying about what you can’t control is fruitless.

Become super present, become super alive to here and see that.

You only need trust when you aren’t present. When you are present you become trust itself.

And you can all be present.

Let any attempt to control or worry for a future be an alarm so you return.

The experience of fully being here is so much better than any idea of what might or should happen. Trust enough just to let go to now and find that for yourself.

Experience now and you will find you want to spend more and more time here. You’ll come to a place where you don’t need trust anymore.

Stay inspired.

"All the effort in the world won’t matter if you’re not inspired"- Chuck Palahniuk

One of my daily rituals is making sure I stay inspired. I think in this game of life it is one of the greatest things you can do to make sure you play well.

It’s easy to let the humdrum and the routine mean that another day fades into the background. A week passes, a month, a year. You postpone, you do the same things, it’s easy to forget what you are living for.

Inspiration is your life-blood, it is the thing that ensures you live the life that you want. Without it, it is a grey life indeed. Without inspiration you have nothing.

Inspiration is reminding myself of my most important thing so I keep it as a priority in the day.

Many things clammer for attention, but what is truly important to you?

What is the bottom line of your life?

For me, above all other things, it is living a life of connection. Of choosing to be filled with presence and contentment. Of appreciation and gratitude for the simple fact that I am alive. For being of service in some way to other people. For being as clear and honest as I can be. For that sense of aliveness and connection to this moment that means I am all of these things and more.

What helps remind you? What inspires you?

Surround yourself with the greatest people you can find. Whether that is in person or via phone, email, text, it doesn’t matter. Tap into that goodness.

Read and watch what inspires and educates and motivates. With the internet, TV, and books there is so much out there to use.

Go places and do things that inspire and excite you. Every now and then see if you can take time out to retreat and re-prioritise. Whether that’s half a day or a week, find the time.

In little and large ways, create a bath of inspiration that you can soak in, so you stay committed to what is important.

You gotta stay inspired, and only you know how that best works for you. Let inspiration be the basis of all your actions.

Make the most of your time here.

I’ve always wanted to live the best life possible.

The whole reason for learning and practicing Ascension meditation, to consciously and actively have a better attitude, to clearly see what limiting thoughts and attitudes I have, all of it is to make the most of my time here.

I realised early on that life is short. All because I had so many friends and acquaintances die in their late teens and early twenties.

One guy I worked with went to the doctor with a sore stomach and was dead 2 weeks later. One friend died on a kayaking trip. A friend was on a cycling trip and got hit by a car. Another, a brother of a friend, crashed a plane. So many more stories.

It’s not pleasant at all, but I’m glad it happened. Like all things, death has a silver lining.

Death has been the greatest lesson -  simply because the presence of death is an awesome reminder that we don’t have a whole lot of time.

See when you think you have a lot of time, you tend to waste it, you tend to postpone. You tend not to worry about squeezing the most out of life because you can do it, well... later.

But those who realise how precious this life is, that time indeed is running out, they really do get the most out of each and every moment. They don't wait until later.

Each person, each conversation has greater significance because you don’t take things for granted.

Each dream, each great ambition, you don’t let a doubt or a limiting thought get in the way of you making it happen.

You don’t have the time for a life that is not yours, living and doing the things you can’t stand and can’t accept.

Come to terms with the fact that life is short. Develop the ability to make the most of each and every moment, to make sure you live your dreams, to live the best possible life.

Don’t delay!