A bizarre idea on how to be happy

A question, a great question, came in this morning:

______

“I’ve been told that if you don’t suffer you can’t know the meaning of happiness. What is your take on this?”

______

Bizarro! (That is my take on it).

First of all - I love people. One of the things that makes my life that extra bit sparklier is connecting with people, hanging out, inspiring, getting to know each other. Having said that, humanity holds some truly bizarre ideas to be true, such as the one above.

You know you enjoy something simply because of the fact that you like it, it is enjoyable in itself.

For example, I love apples. There is an apple tree in bubba’s grandad’s garden that is full of the most delightful apples. I could eat them all day long. Sometimes with peanut butter, most times without. Yom, yom and yom.

I do not need to eat brussel sprouts (which I detest) to know how much I love these apples. I do not need to even merely smell a durian fruit (if you don’t know it - look it up - the description is enough to make you shudder) to know how good these apples are. I do not need to suffer in any way for these apples to make me very, very happy.

Do you get that?

Suffering is not necessary to enjoy. Not at all.

In fact - suffering need not be apart of life. It doesn’t make you human. It isn’t necessary, at all. You were born into joy, life doesn’t HAVE to include anything else but joy.

The only benefit to suffering could be giving you the motivation to find a way never to go into suffering again. I know it did that for me.

But beyond that, a path into heaven just gets more heavenly the more you walk it. It doesn’t go through hell. That just doesn’t make sense. OK?

Now - ask yourself, if it’s even a tiny bit possible that I’m right on this, why not investigate ways of being free from suffering? Wouldn’t that make life truly amazing?

Yes indeed, it would.

Go well!

Arjuna

PS.

Well those 15 minutes coaching slots filled up quick! I might do some more in December, but what I would advise, if you haven’t already, is get onto my mindfulness challenge -

Here’s the link to all the info, and the facebook group:

https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/houradaymindful/ 

The power of the “Meh” factor

What is this “Meh” factor I talk of?

A long time reader has recently informed me how grateful he is for the gift of increased “Meh” that has come from putting into practice my ways contained within these emails and the courses I teach.

You see - the Meh factor is when you practice this stuff and come to a point where you can’t be bothered being provoked. You can’t gather enough energy to respond to someone attempting to push your buttons. You can’t muster enough caring to outburst, instead, at best you roll your eyes and just go “Meh”.

By practicing presence and calm it actually gets harder to rise to unexpected news and/or someone baiting you. Isn't that wonderful? It takes real effort to get angry.

It’s a brilliant response too, for those loved ones around you who love to poke you with a long stick, just to see if they can make you react - you know, otherwise known as “teenagers” (but obviously not confined to just them).

When you can’t be bothered playing their games? They are left very confused, very confused indeed. Like a balloon that has all their air removed.

It always takes two to tango, and when you don’t dance, they have to change their tune. Or some kind of metaphor along those lines …

And how wonderful. What is left for you is calm, contentment and perspective. A realisation that you can change your habits of reacting and outbursting and take control of your own peace.

So here's to the “Meh” factor!

May you have plenty of it, so you can focus your energies on what you really want to focus on. Hurrah!

Go well!

Arjuna

PS.

I’m all out of courses for this year. Done and dusted beyond a few things if you've already learnt to Ascend. There'll be more in the new year for sure which I'll let you know about.

But - if you’re interested in grabbing a free 15 minute coaching call before then, I’m giving a bunch away soon.

Here’s the link if you want one:

http://www.arjunaishaya.com/contact/ 

Get rid of that harsh inner voice

OK - negativity sucks, and especially when it comes from within your own head.

I know this for sure, because I’ve suffered from it, and I’ve talked to a lot of people about it - it doesn’t matter who you are and what you’ve achieved in the past, your own head is your worst, nastiest critic. Nothing is good enough.

There is nothing more demoralising, nothing more hard work than living with a mind that is telling you what a loser you are.

Sometimes you would not talk to a dog the way you talk to yourself. If you could hear your internal dialogue coming out of someone else’s mouth? You’d be shocked. And all for what?

Because you made a mistake? Because you slipped up? Because you want to do something better?

What to do about it?

Alrighty - I have a little challenge for you. Something I’ve been getting the guys in the mindfulness Facebook group to play with (click here to join), and I thought I’d tell you too.

24 hours long is the challenge. For these 24 hours you will:

Assume there is no wrong.

It'll require that you actively watch your mind for what it tells you. Simply reframe - there is no wrong, there is simply something you needed to learn. If so, what did you learn?

Great - draw a line under it, begin again. Hit the reset button.

Got it? Get going there, let me know if you have any questions.

Go well!

Arjuna

PS.

The answer is always at the bottom isn’t it?

Give the above a shot first, I want you to see something. Then come back to this …

You’re going to see that you can reframe anything. You can choose your attitude on everything that you do or that happens to you.

You don’t like it? OK - is this proof that you’ve got it wrong, AGAIN? Or can you focus on what you have learnt? What you will do differently?

Completely different approach, completely different inner “sense” isn’t it? One is harming and draining, the other supporting and encouraging - and all through your choice.

Good work - keep choosing!

PPS.

Want the low down on the mindfulness awareness challenge, complete with Facebook page where I set homework like this?

https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/houradaymindful/

Getting more self-confidence and ditching doubt

If you’re like me it seems like you weren’t born with a ton of self-confidence (which is not true at all, but we'll get to that).

You get caught up in those voices in your head that are doubting and anxious - they seem quite real, a lot of the time.

These voices stop you doing stuff, don’t they? From saying the thing you want to say, from getting out and doing those things, from being seen.

It’s frustrating, at least it can be.

I can’t count the number of times I’ve gone over and over what I should have said or what I should have done. Torturing myself long after the event has passed.

Though I worked out how to get around it.

You see, there are two different versions of you. One of those versions has no issues with confidence, doubt, anxiety, worry - any of that. They simply don’t exist. Why? This version of you isn’t trying to be someone else. It isn’t trying to live up to anyone’s expectations, it isn’t concerned with what anyone else thinks, it isn't trying to do "it" right.

It is what it is, nothing to prove, nothing to hide. No masks, no roles, no presenting of false images, just 100% authentic you.

You have that already - you are that already - and that is the whole purpose of something like the Bright Path Ishayas’ Ascension. To live as that version of you more and more.

When you practice Ascension those limiting programs of doubt, worry, fear - and that’s what they are, just programs - simply run out of juice. They stop stopping you. Which is a wonderful state of affairs, because then it's easier to practice saying what you know you want to say.

I think I’ve written about this before (if I haven’t, I should have!), from the carefree version of you comes the first thoughts. The doubting program comes in with the second and third thoughts - “I can’t say that!” which overrides the first - wise - thoughts.

Then there’s the question that I personally know well, and see a lot around, “How do I …”

As in “How do I ask for a raise/time off?”, “How do I ask that girl/boy out?”, “How do I ask for what I want?”, “How do I stand up for myself?”. Such self-torture through trying to work out the “best” way of asking for something.

The simple answer seems to be you just have to do it.

You just have to practice opening your mouth and speaking, asking for what you want, speaking those first thoughts.

There’s a time and a place for everything, yes, but what I’ve found is usually the time and the place is when you and the other are together and the first thoughts come in. Right there, open your mouth.

Just be that great version of you - practice your Ascension - and speak. I promise it gets easier.

What I know for sure is the thinking about it is the torture. The doing? Not so bad really, at all.

Go well!

Arjuna

PS.

No idea about Ascension? Here's a wonderful list that I put together about how to be more mindful in your daily life - 108 practical ways of living beyond those programs, making sure they don't take over.

Get your free copy here:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb

You choose hell or heaven for yourself

I get a lot of emails, which I love. I've just sat with my cup of tea and gone through them.

I love being of service, I mean, I took vows of service as an Ishaya AND I really love helping people who want to do things differently - which is handy, isn’t it?

I love sharing my experience of the choices that mean you have peace and calm in your life, and equally those choices that mean you have stress, overwhelm, negativity - pain.

For me it all comes down to ONE thing. And this one thing is this:

Heaven and hell is all your choice.

Realising how you do that to yourself is an incredible moment. A real "aha!" and a chance to move forward, a chance to do something differently - IF you're willing.

When you take that half step back you can see this clearer and sooner. When you’re rushing, when you’re so involved in the troubles of life, when you’re IN the drama you can’t see this so well.

One of the best pieces of advice I ever got?

Slow down a touch. Take regular moments to get your perspective and your baseline back. Nothing is lost through regular recalibration, everything is gained.

The ability to see where you create hell or heaven for yourself is such a wonderful gift. After all, life isn’t so much about the circumstances, but how you deal with these circumstances.

You can’t control everything. Sometimes, often times, you’re just thrown a wobbly one and left to get on and deal with it.

Your ability to choose your attitude, choose which thoughts you listen to and which you ignore, choose to be wrapped up in a past or a future you have no control over or be present …

All these things are priceless in not only getting what you want from life, but enjoying each and every step along the way.

Each and every step.

It all begins now. All of life is crystallised into right now. This is it. Such a joy because you - if you allow yourself - get to start again, fresh, over and over. A restart.

Go well, make it about what you can do, now.

Arjuna

PS.

If you're interested in this sort of thing, you might really like a free guide I wrote - 108 ways you can remember your choice for calm, your choice for peace, your choice for freedom.

Here it is if you'd like a copy:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb

Is there life BEFORE death? - That is the question!

I woke up this morning and looked out the window to see a wonder.

The fields at the back of the house completely white with frost, and the low autumn sun sneaking up, making everything shine with colour. Spectacular.

There are moments in life that take your breath away.

When you stop, and go “wow!”. This morning was one of them.

Someone once said that the quality of a life perhaps could be measured not in how many moments you have, but how many moments that took your breath away. That the question of whether there is life after death is irrelevant, people should concern themselves only with whether there is life BEFORE death.

The trouble is with “wow” moments is that people don’t put themselves in the way of them enough.

Life is lived at such a fast pace that showing up to now is rare -

“I’ll just get this done, and that done, and then I’ll stop” … you know it, you know you never seem to get to the end of your to do list. So busy thinking and doing and rushing around - so how will you ever fill a life with “wow!”?

In fact, a life of “why?” can become “normal” - as in “why is this happening to me?!”

It’s a tragedy because a whole life can be lost, just through not paying attention - and yet it’s the simplest thing to do. Mindfully giving your attention to the one thing in front of you.

Remembering to look up and away from your phone at the far view, at what’s around you. Remembering to stop and check out of the frantic nature of your own mind, even just for a breath or three.

The amount of wow moments you have is directly related to how often you come out of your busy head and appreciate what there is, here, now.

I know you're busy, I know people are depending on you. But no one is going to do it for you - you’re going to have to build that habit of being more Awake and Alive yourself. So rewarding it is. So great to really live, no matter how busy your life feels. So great to live a life of wow.

And how happy will your loved ones be, when they get the best version of you back? Super dooper happy.

You can do it.

Go well!

Arjuna

PS.

If you'd like to be more mindful - here's a free 7 day challenge that will be right up your street.

Everything you need to build the mindfulness "muscle":

https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/houradaymindful/

There's even a very supportive challenge Facebook group for you to check out (details in above link).

When things don’t happen when you want

Another thing I’ve realised, as I still find myself convalescing from this flu … or super hero transformation, whatever it may be … is that destiny has it’s own timetable.

As much as I’d like to be up and running on full power, like, yesterday, that isn’t an option.

Doing as little as possible still is the way forward. The way backward involves doing too much and sliding back into the world of joints that don’t work and a battery that is so flat, watching dust and hair swirl around in the sun, cheek pressed flat to the floor is the only thing possible.

I know it feels like you have to do everything.

Maybe you do. But most of the time you don’t. You can ask for help. Actually you need to ask for help. That is the big thing. Stop feeling embarrassed that everyone is running around after you. Enjoy it! And along with that, the greatest thing you can do to recover quicker is stopping the fight against a timetable that is far bigger than you.

There are far bigger chefs than you at work, and it would appear they need you to marinate for a little longer.

You can fight and struggle and exhaust yourself, prolonging illness further and further down the track. Or you can surrender and give up to the reality. Give up your ideas of what should happen and when.

Ironically it’s then, when you fully and unconditionally surrender, healing can start to happen.

If it will at all, that is, and in it's own good time. Anything else just gets in the way.

It’s a super hero transformation after all! If you recover well, you’ll come out the other side with mutant super powers. And that will be awesome.

That’s me - hope you’re having a lovely weekend.

Go well!

Arjuna

PS.

A wonderful way of learning "letting go", can be found right here:

It's free too:

https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/houradaymindful/

Loosening that death grip of control

When you’ve been out of the world for over a week, it teaches you a certain kind of humility. This humility comes when you realise everything is ticking along completely as normal - without you.

I was not required for reality to function.

Isn’t that disappointing? I’m irrelevant to the functioning of the world. And I thought I was such a big shot! Ha. Shows me.

It’s kinda cool though - like, if you just sit with me in this moment; just be here … this also requires nothing, does it? Needs nothing, requires nothing - this moment just ticks over.

You can let out a sigh, if you like.

My job - and your job - can be just to sit and watch and as it unfolds, applause - “Hurrah!”

Now I know that sounds dangerously like doing nothing. Like leaving the ship to steer itself, and if it steers itself, then surely it’ll end up on the rocks!

Or just turning circles.

The fascinating thing is that control of your destiny only needs a light touch - nothing heavy handed at all. But what I mean is sometimes it feels like if you stop steering, the world will crash. Nature itself will end.

“I MUST stay in control! I CANNOT take a break”

You live your life - and every body else’s - with your hands so tight on the steering wheel, white-knuckled, you can’t even pause to change the radio. It’s a grip - actually - of pure fear.

The amazing thing is you're also attempting to steer everyone’s ships in the direction you think they should be going too. Which is an incredible feat of skill - or something.

HOWEVER, maybe you’re right - but beyond a suggestion or two, if you do it for them, they’ll never learn to do it for themselves, will they?

Keeping your hands to yourself and getting rid of the grip, two very useful lessons in life.

That is, if you’re interested in living an easier life - one that is stress free, empty of overwhelm, enjoyable, free - where you skip off into the sunset … that kind of life.

It can be done.

The fascinating thing is as you let go of such overwhelming control, how bizarre, how tiring, how sometimes actually frightening, such control is when you see it in someone else.

Anyhoo, I’m done. This little virus is still being sweated out and I feel like a cup of tea and a lie down for a moment.

Let me have any questions!

Go well,

Arjuna

PS.

Almost forgot - everyone is learning this to some degree. Do not feel like you’re the only one, you are SO not. You can learn to “let go” - and you must, really, for a happy, healthy, balanced life.

Here’s where I would start if I wanted to learn to let go - just a little bit every day - 

It's a really cool, free challenge to becoming free of stress, complete with guide:

https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/houradaymindful/

Take it easy!

It's ok - I pulled through, just!

But it certainly was a close thing.

Sorry I’ve been MIA but I had a real dose of something nasty. I’ve never been so sick as not being able to stand and having to crawl to the loo, then deciding that I’d better have a little rest on the way back.

The most amazing thing though - that new perspective, cheek to the hallway floor. I saw a whole new world of dust and hair and stuff along the edges.

Just joking - I realised, as I lay waiting for the energy to resume the journey back to bed, that this was a very glass half full moment.

This flu was actually in all likelihood the transformation due to that E.T./Universal light DNA activation upgrade that I’d ordered back on that night of planetary alignment in 2001; I was slightly dubious at the time but figured it couldn’t hurt. Now my small faith is being repaid:

Basically I’m becoming a super hero.

All mutant super dooper people go through a process, don’t they? And this is mine, as my cells refigure themselves. I have no idea what kind of super hero I’ll be, but I’ll let you know very soon. As soon as I can get out of the hallway, that is.

I used to think that I needed something extra, something more and new, something to make me better, more ready to live the life I was supposed to live.

There is no end of people waiting.

There are a few noble souls who have decided to stop waiting. To just find and be that quality of quiet certainty within themselves - and naturally from that - their place in the world, exactly as they are.

That certainty means they no longer need to promote an image or a preferred idea to the world. Beyond content, they simply live each moment as their true irreverent, irrelevant and most wonderful selves.

The peace and the power that comes from that experience is extraordinary.

You can wait a very long time until you have what you need, until you have permission, until you are better. Or you can start to come to terms with your perfection right now.

If you’re interested, I would start right here. Join my email list and I'll give you a FREE guide to a great challenge:

https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/houradaymindful/

Do you NEED it? No, you need nothing. Does it make mastering your mind incredibly simple? Why yes, yes it indeed does.

https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/houradaymindful/

Go well,

Arjuna

PS.

Oh hey - remember, as always, once you've learnt you can repeat as much or as little of the weekend as you like for free.

And I guarantee you'll walk away feeling like your DNA has been given, if not an upgrade, a most definite polish and a rubdown.

Be great to see you if you want to come in - do let me know though because the rooms going to be full and I want to make sure I can get you in

The secret to the happiest days of your life

Happy?

You are focusing on the simple fact that all is well in your life. You’re enjoying it because everything is going great. You’re focused on the good, and my how good it is.

You can do this any time you like. Any time.  No matter what seems to be happening in your life. It’s learning to focus on what you do have and wean yourself off the focus on what is wrong, what is missing, what is lacking.

This is the simple secret to all happiness.

Gratitude. The more you do it the more you realise it has less to do what you are grateful and appreciative for, and everything to do with the fact that you are just darn grateful.

Want a happy life? Want to weather stress and the storms and the ups and downs with a stable anchor in what is great and good about you and your life? Get good at gratitude. It’s the greatest thing ever.

And here’s a cool quote I really like about gratitude:

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” 

• Melody Beattie

So simple that people just don’t do it. And if you don’t do gratitude, you just won’t know how powerful it is. So go to it!

Go well!

Arjuna

PS.

Gratitude is just one of the 108 tips I have on living the mindful, aware, stress free Alive life.

To find out the other 107, head this way for your free copy:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb

Not what you’ve been sold, is it?

In this day and age where being super busy is a twisted sign of honour and social standing … “I am SO busy, therefore I am important and involved in great works”.

Meditation is sold as a means to be more productive, to focus harder, get clearer and more energetic. To achieve, because if you’re not achieving you’re taking up space, and wasting your life …

And meditation certainly does help with focus and clarity; however ...

This "achieve" way of living can also mean you feel guilty for taking a break, for taking some air, for slowing down and smelling the roses. In other words, truly appreciating your life.

Truly tasting your coffee, playing with your kids, connecting with your partner, recharging your batteries, looking after your health, your mental wellbeing …

“I’ve got no time for that” says that mad man/woman in your head.

Sigh.

The fact is meditation gives you what you NEED, not necessarily what you WANT, and most definitely not what you EXPECT.

Sometimes you embark on a regular practice of meditation and instead of entering this hyper achieve, hyper productive mode like you think you SHOULD, all you want to do is do nothing - indeed, all you CAN do is relax and rest, because it would seem you’re more tired than usual.

It’s a good sign you’ve been burning the candle at both ends for a while now. You’ve been exhausting yourself and you didn’t even know it.

Your body is taking the chance to catch up, to really re-energize. Not a short term fix, not a cup of coffee and keep going, but a real chance to heal and recharge on a much deeper level than you’ve allowed yourself for a long time.

It doesn’t meet your plan, I know. But if you’re open and go with it you’ll be given a way of living that is full and rich - not just sustainable but nurturing, truly Alive.

Something like the Bright Path Ishayas' Ascension meditation tunes you into a way of living that is fluid, non-demanding and non-insisting. And what a way to live that is. When you’re ready to go, you go; when you need to rest, you rest.

Tune in. Stop insisting and demanding. Get real balance. You’ll be so much happier and ironically, way more productive.

Alrighty?

Let me know how you’re going with all this.

Go well!

Arjuna

PS.

Want some beautifully simple tips on living this truly balanced fluid way?

Here you go - FREE to you:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb

The most little known yet super effective way of helping someone

Question from someone that came in yesterday, and it’s a doozy:

___________

Do you believe in feeling other people's pain because there are a hell of a lot of hurting people out there.

People who have lost their soul mate of 30 years, like me. War torn families, famine, then there’s all the muggings, burglary. So many people are not happy, they are damaged and hurting and ill-treated etc.

How do you account these things? I can't just close my eyes to someone else's suffering, it's selfish and insensitive.

___________

You’re right, there is so much suffering in the world, so much misery and confusion. People are hurting and ill-treated and unhappy.

How can you help?

Especially when it’s someone close to you, your kids, your partner, your family - you want to help, and if you could take the pain away from them, you would, right?

You want to DO something - and so there’s a tendency to feel someone’s pain as if it was your own, because it feels like helping. Then there’s that commonly held belief that not feeling means you’re closing your eyes to their suffering. It’s selfish not to, correct?

But how does this help them?

How does you being miserable as well assist them?

I’m not talking about not acknowledging and being sensitive to someone’s pain, I’m not talking about not doing what you can to help them out - but throwing yourself in the pit with them is not useful, to either of you, AT ALL.

What they need is for you to be standing on solid ground. At peace, calm, clear, with your sense of humour about you. You then become their anchor in the middle of the chaos.

When all their certainty and stability is gone, when it’s all been thrown up in the air, you act as their rudder, their point of reference, their lighthouse in the dark.

Alright?

So no need to suffer. They need you to not suffer - they need you solid and dependable, not dramatic and wobbly.

Best thing you can do for anyone - and the least known, the most uncommon.

Suffering is not required for you to help anyone. In fact it doesn’t help anyone, ever, at all. 

Go well!

Arjuna

PS.

When you get on a plane, they always say to put your own oxygen mask on first, then help others.

It’s true in any part of life - and here’s the best oxygen you can get, and it's free:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb

Breathe deep!

This bad advice actually makes it worse

Someone I met recently was saying that a book was advising her to tell her thoughts “go away!”, or something similar.

Just as I’m writing I find it curiouser and curiouser. I guess just because you can write a book doesn’t mean you know what you’re talking about (apologies if that sounds snarky but, you see, I get a little passionate about this).

Let me explain with a quick story.

Back, a long time ago I joined the local surf lifesaving club in the summer holidays. They enter me in a swimming race out in the ocean, and come the day of the race it's the foulest imaginable day.

The sky was grey, nearly black. The waves storming and huge. Apparently the buoys are out there but I can’t even see the things I’m supposed to swim around. My first surf race and I’m thinking I'm going to get my patooty absolutely kicked.

People are muttering about "they should cancel", but the officials are keen to see what we're made of, I guess.

The gun goes off, we run in and I literally drank the first three waves as they smashed on my head. I almost turned around and headed back in, it was so bad.

Then I got smart (obviously if you know me, not a lot, but enough)

Instead of battling through, I take a big breath and swim under. Big breath, dive down, stay in the calm, move forward. I spent more time under the water than on top of it. While the rescue boat is pulling people out all over the place, I was “Man From Atlantis”ing underneath, keeping away from the madness up top.

And you know what? I came second, and most importantly, I didn’t die. Hurrah!

Why am I telling you this?

My friend who had the (bad) advice to tell her thoughts “go away!”, or "shut up!" or whatever ...?

It’s just like my surf swim: Your thoughts are these huge waves that come in and bash you. You’re battling the waves, half drowning, and some guy in a rescue boat comes along and says:

“Just tell them to ‘GO AWAY!’”

Thank you sir, fine advice.

The important thing when coming to grips with your mind is to try and see what works best for you. But when I’ve tried that approach it just didn’t work. I would get exhausted and frustrated from shouting and doing battle every time. It would make it worse.

The easiest thing by far is to sink beneath the surface where it’s calm.

The storm can rage on all it likes, but it is not you. You don’t need to control it at all. You might still be aware of it - it might be still obvious like when the neighbours are having an argument and you can hear it, but no deal, you’re not caught up in it.

Becoming the master of your mind and overcoming stress, negativity and overwhelm requires no force. It really doesn’t. You don’t need to fight, struggle or strain. The best approach is ignoring, I reckon. Just plain old cold shoulder them. Or go the other extreme, welcome them whole heartedly:

“Hello old friend! Come on in and make yourself at home. You are welcome too”.

This gentle “bring it on” approach takes the wind out of any fight, doesn’t it? There’s no resistance, and that - if you have a teenager you are probably getting to know this very well - is the best thing you can do in many situations.

In terms of your mind, not resisting means you can sink down into that field of awareness that is you, the good old half step back and see the rage or the resentment or the depression or the self-violence (whatever it maybe) from an arms length and not get wrapped up and lost in it.

It’ll blow over and you spent zero effort on it. In fact, you gained greater freedom from your mind. You actually only strengthen the mind when you fight it. But that is a story for another day.

Alrighty? Awesome - go well!

Arjuna

PS.

A submarine is a handy thing when you’re out swimming in the storms. The means to dive down at the press of a button, in comfort and style, is a truly wonderful thing.

Here’s how to get your FREE submarine guide. You will LOVE it:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb

Dive deep!

When you're too busy surviving you forget the point

Being a work from home dad I get to spend a lot of time with my daughter. I’m incredibly grateful for that as she is awesome -

And she is the perfect reminder of how I want to live my life.

No Robbie, not filling my nappy, dribbling and chewing on everything, but simply being just darn happy - for no reason at all, just because she's alive.

I gave her a strawberry to chew on this morning and you should have seen her eyes. It was like it was the greatest thing she’d ever seen … A total OMG! moment (if you OMG things, that is).

So many people grow up to be adults and get so wrapped up in life likes its this battle for survival, they forget the very point of it all - which is to fully enjoy it. Well - that's my point. What's yours?

Now you’re aware of it, it all depends on you.

You can have a happiness that only comes when you get something you want, or you can have a happiness, a contentment, an aliveness that is found from each and every moment. That is possible, FOR YOU.

You can base your life on the focus on the goodness around you, or you can focus on what you don’t have, what you think you should have. You can move through life as if you’ve seen it all before, or you can really tune in and have a fresh attitude, a fresh perspective.

Sometimes life comes alive when you try different things, often life comes alive when you do the same things differently.

See the difference?

You were born excited and fascinated about and alive to each and every moment. You have the innate ability to enjoy every single part of your life. You’ve just learnt not to.

You can learn to again - for sure.

Just a little reminder this fine day that in terms of your levels of calm, contentment, and life satisfaction - you are in the driving seat.

Stay awesome,

Arjuna

PS.

If you need help with choosing for gratitude and freshness and aliveness?

Here are 108 ways, ideas, means to you doing just that. And they're FREE:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb

PPS. Let me know how I can help. Just send me a msg

Control Freak?

Let’s get something out in the open, first of all.

Your biggest cause of stress lies in your control issues. Do you know that? It’s ok - you’re one, I’m one, everyone has a control freak inside.

In the attempt to secure something, you try to control the uncontrollable. And that means you stress and struggle.

You waste so much energy and effort and time running around trying to make the world and the people around you the way you think they should be.

You think when the world and it’s people are the way you want it and them, then you can be happy. Perhaps you believe you know best, perhaps it’s that you believe they can make you feel happy, perhaps you’re trying to live up to their expectations, perhaps you believe you will miss out on something if you don’t control it all:

“The world will fall apart if I let go for even a second!”

So you struggle and control and strain and oh boy …

All for what? The impossible task of control.

Other people will show you exactly how much of a micro-manager you are, especially when you come face to face with another control freak. Children - those little bundles of joy are little bundles of uncontrollable unpredictability, aren’t they?

They all can be your greatest teachers, especially your loved ones. Because they push all your buttons. They don’t do what you want them to do. What you need them to do. What you know best.

Control will show you exactly when you are wrapped up in a future, externally caused happiness.

The type of happiness that goes: “I will be happy when …” You know? When this happens and that happens, when she stops doing that, when he does what I want him to do ...

Seeing your control is actually super freeing.

You can see where you depend on someone or something to make you happy, and then can choose to be happy (or simply content, but definitely the opposite of stressed and struggling) all by yourself, just because.

Control - give it up, for a moment. Just for now. Be fully present with this, with me, just for now. Stop, fully tune in. Take a deep breath. Give everything else up, just for now.

There - the world didn’t end did it?

Sorry. Didn’t mean to be that sarcastic, but it’s nice isn’t it? Like a mini-mini-holiday - and you can take those whenever you want.

It's your choice.

Stay awesome, OK?

Arjuna

PS.

Of course, this is not an excuse to abandon your responsibilities and commitments.

But it is an invitation to see how you’re making life so hard for yourself and everyone around you. How your choice to try and control the uncontrollable is driving you to an early grave.

You can take the hands off the wheel much much more than what you are doing, and everything will be fine and you will enjoy life so much more. Promise.

Any you know what? If you’d like to really be free of such habits and things, here's a little thing that is FREE and will help you go beyond control super quick:

https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/houradaymindful/

Life is NOT a journey

On A Journey?

Someone once said that Life like climbing a mountain.

You’re on a journey from one state of being to another. Progressing, getting, heading forth, getting better - at stuff and things. Schooling yourself.

If they didn’t say that, well, they should have. If they didn’t say that then I’m saying it - and you can quote me.

That’s what it feels like doesn’t it?

Climbing up this mountain, and it’s hard going some days. You slip up, you feel like you fall back and lose that precious ground.

(I did a video on facebook, if you'd rather watch:

https://business.facebook.com/MrArjunaIshaya/videos/1645074938868946/

Demoralising

Sometimes you get so demoralised with the slipping, falling back into old habits you just give up.

“What’s the point?!”

“I’m never going to get there anyway!” as you throw away your intention, your vision for your life, for someday getting to the place you want to be, to finally being the person you want to become.

I want you to consider something though.

Not Up or Down, Balancing

Progressing in life is actually more like Buddha said - a razors edge.

Ooh! Sounds dramatic doesn’t it? But it’s this balancing act where your goal is to stay on balance. You fall off, of course you fall off, but what do you do? Just get back on.

You haven’t lost anything. You haven’t declined, this isn’t a game of snakes and ladders - you just fell off. You just forgot. You fell asleep.

Now you’re awake. Jump back on! Consistency you see. Get back on and do the things that you know you need to do.

You’ll stay there longer and longer and longer AND the things that make you fall off just get more and more obvious. You begin to master that fluid simple effortless focus of staying on until one day you find you’re staying on much much more than you’re falling off.

All because you simply jumped back on.

Melting Away

Being free of stress, negativity, limitation, and all your habits that you’re not proud of? The thing is it's not even a balancing act.

It’s a hot bath. And the small you, the ego, your limited beliefs and patterns are like an ice cube.

Being present and mindful - humour me and do it right now. Give yourself completely to now - if you do it fully, it's like slipping into a hot comfortable bath where it needs nothing else. All is well, right here. Right?

Here in the Now bath your limitations melt away, so simply, so effortlessly - just by you staying in the bath. That's where transformation comes about, just from soaking in the bath.

Not thinking about how you were going to do it, just by being in it.

Just Jump Back In

Through habit you jump out of the bath. In the beginning, a lot. No deal! You feel asleep.

Now you’re awake - jump back in to the one place that really satisfies, and the one place stress, drama, negativity can’t exist, and where everything you don’t need melts away - where you transform.

Keep it that simple.

The more you jump back in? The more you realise just how pleasant this bath is. It never gets cold. It always has your favourite rubber ducky.

Jump in and relax. The Now bath will take care of everything for you, in the right time. Nothing to get, nowhere to go.

Go well!

Arjuna

PS.

Too long, didn’t read?

Life is a bath of now. Stay in the bath. Realise you’re out of the bath? Get back in!

Here's a 108 ways so you make getting in the bath and stay in. It's FREE too:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb

I was horrified at myself

The perfect journey …

At the time when you do something silly - something that even horrifies you, Perfection is that last thing on your mind.

I know all about being disappointed, dispirited, discouraged, and otherwise disappointed in words or actions of my own (Like my thesaurus work?).

Those moments come back to haunt you, don’t they?

A flashing through of memory, and before you know it, you’re slapping yourself on the forehead and going “you idiot!” - for something that has long gone.

One of the reasons I got into meditation was to find a balance …

That balance between acknowledging I’d done something stupid (learning), and forgiving myself for the fact.

Forgiveness was the main theme, as I was extremely good at the learning part, evidenced by the telling myself off for things said and unsaid (the old “you should have said this and that …”)

What Ascension meditation in particular has done for me, is the ability to forgive myself.

To realise that life isn’t so much poles of right and wrong, but being on a journey.

Of simply having a reset button and going again, attempting to live a little bit better than yesterday.

When that habit of self-violence goes away - and it most certainly does when you learn not to unconsciously feed it -

What is left is a feeling of perfection.

That you are in the perfect place in the perfect time.

That you live through something so you can truly move forward on it, and become a better version of you.

The greatest thing my Ascension teacher said to me was this:

The only reason I go through anything?

Was so I could help others through experience.

Without making “mistakes” - how could I ever help anyone else?

So in that, are there ever really any mistakes? Or just springboards and invitations for a higher, more real, more profound, more compassionate life?

Take it easy out there,

Go well

Arjuna

PS.

You know I teach and practice the Bright Path Ishayas’ Ascension, a wonderfully simple set of meditation tools for living the above.

If you're interested in knowing more about meditation and mindfulness, I wrote a free guide for you.

I like it a lot, here's where to get a copy:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb

But - I want these blogs to stand alone.

I want you to be inspired to make today more profound, more present, more fun than yesterday.

To not settle for less, to not just get by, but live 200% - a truly Alive life.

And sometimes all that takes is a reminder.

Let me know how I can help with that, I’d love to chat.

Help! How do I stop worrying about … ?

Help!

Worry is a huge problem for a lot of people.

Health, for example - someone asked me this morning how to stop worrying about it,

So I wanted to write a little about what I did to overcome worry.

It's a longer email, but hopefully useful to you, so grab a cuppa, have a read and see what sticks.

Obviously it's a huge subject and I can't do justice to your particular case, but I think in general something here will hold true for you.

I'll do a video soon, but my throat is all scratchy from snotty bubba.

Here we go:

The answer is the same for ANY worry or anxiety.

The mechanism of worry is the same, it just has a different focus, a different object.

Money, your family, your relationship, the state of the world … doesn't matter, it'll all apply.

First point:

Worry, the feeling, is caused by a thought.

By thinking you create a feeling that you don't like.

It’s not so much about the OBJECT of your worry, but HOW you’re thinking about it.

Simple I know, but it's important to realise, because:

You don’t have a lot of control over the object, you can learn to have control over the thinking.

Freedom from worry lies within you - NOT by fixing the object.

You have to realise that its your obsession (strong word I know) with the object that causes the feeling.

It’s often super creative people who get anxious, and they get anxious when they have nothing to do.

Like sitting on a plane, last thing at night …

Then their minds want to do something, so they pick at something, anything - and the result is worry.

You’re never worried when you’re busy. Because - you don’t have time to think.

Distraction from your thoughts therefore is a great tactic.

(If you practice meditation you will get comfortable with waiting, with doing nothing, with not letting your mind wander anywhere it wants, with distraction from any obsession).

When you notice the first signs of worry and thinking - get out of your head.

Sooner the better, because your thoughts have momentum.

Get up, do something different, take some deep slow breaths counting along the way, think your Ascension Attitudes if you have them,

Change your focus.

In order to do this you have to realise that worrying about the object IN NO WAY is going to help you.

You have to realise that you create the worry because you think it helps.

You, in a way, are addicted to worrying.

You think a little thinking about your favourite issue won’t do any harm …

(The "just a little bit won't hurt" at the core of any addiction)

But it does, and before you know it you’re deep in worry.

You have to be prepared not to think about your favourite concern - cold turkey, if you like.

The second point is:

You have been thinking certain ways for a long long time.

Sometimes you will just unconsciously start, and “fall” into worry, so -

This will be a journey.

You can learn to ease your worry pretty much straight away,

But it may return time and time again.

No worries, be gently stubborn, keep coming back to what you want to grow and nurture in your mind, and life.

Practice will make perfect.

Third:

You aren’t worried, you have worry.

It helps to see it as something outside of you, like a virus or something to be defeated.

If you ARE it, then there’s not a lot of room to move with it.

If it’s something you HAVE, then you can get a half-step back from it, you can be mindful of it -

Which is essential, because:

Fourth:

By way the worst thing about worry and anxiety (or depression, anger etc),

Is getting anxious about your anxiety.

Heaping anxiety upon anxiety is the real cause of most people’s troubles.

The anxiety is one thing, the thinking around it creates more and more anxiety.

The fact is that although worry and panic is unpleasant,

It will go away.

Try not to feed it by adding to it.

Let it float, let it be there, experience it - but stay detached (half-step backed) from it.

You’re not going to die, and it won’t last forever.

You will learn to deal with it, and ultimately end it.

So -

I’m sure there’s more, however this is more than enough to get going on.

Let me know how you go -

And practice! Nothing happens without doing something, regularly.

Go well,

Arjuna

PS.

If you want to the greatest way to learn to meditate and be mindful, here's the best start I know,

Because I wrote this free guide!

All the different ways I can think of to give you freedom from your mind, and freedom from worry:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb

You know there’s going to be trouble when …

So New Zealand - the land of my birth -

Has a potato shortage.

On the surface this is no big deal,

But when you realise no potato means no crunchy salted crispy chippy goodness …

It becomes a HUGE deal.

As if I needed any more proof that the world is going to end, and soon.

(Don't go there - I'm just joking on that one)

BUT -

When you have a love of salted potato products that I do,

Even reading about a possible shortage on the other side of the world,

Could lead to a certain amount of lip trembling anxiousness.

The fear of missing out or being denied or having something taken away is strong, is it not?

It doesn’t matter what it’s about, but the mere idea of lack can keep you up at night,

Sweating profusely at the thought of it.

“What if?” is the device we torture ourselves with.

When I was a kid I was profoundly disturbed to read that scientists thought the world was going to end, that one day it would no longer exist.

I asked my mum, and she explained that it won’t happen for many thousands of years,

And anyway: “What could we actually do about a rogue meteor?”

Such wisdom.

If worrying about anything could help, the world would be in excellent hands.

But worrying about tomorrow denies you of today, doesn’t it?

It’s not useful in any way, shape or form.

Worry is a pattern, a habit …

And even though worry may feel like it can be automatic some times,

As in it has some momentum,

It can be a slippery slope that once you get started it’s hard to stop,

The fact is:

You can learn to create another habit.

You can choose to do something differently.

First step is being aware when you’re worrying about something you have zero control over right now.

Is there anything you CAN do right now?

I could stock up on chips and crisps, otherwise the potato shortage is a fact of nature.

I can’t do anything about it beyond stopping torturing myself by thinking about it.

Sometimes even putting all of it down on paper,

Or chatting it over with a understanding compadre can REALLY help.

Because it gets it out of your head -

In your head it can seem perfectly reasonable,

Out in the open means you have that half step back,

That perspective you need to realise that in no way is it a reasonable concern.

Then you spend your energy working on what you can actually secure,

Where you CAN find stability.

OK?

I’m on a roll so I’m going to talk more about this tomorrow.

I may even make a video.

But getting on top of worry was one of the reasons I learnt to meditate.

I wanted an end to all the unnecessary worry and anxiety I knew I was inflicting on myself.

And it worked.

If I can do it, I figure you can do it to.

If you're interested in doing something about worry, here's a FREE guide to getting freedom of choice over your own thoughts:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb

If you have any questions, let me know - otherwise tune in tomorrow and we’ll talk more about this -

Because it’s important.

Til then, go well!

Arjuna

The joy of expert beginnerism

Everyone wants to be an expert,

No one wants to be a beginner.

That’s the trouble with people these days.

Combined with a good bit of procrastination,

The yes - no - yes - no - yes - no approach most have,

It’s a wonder anyone learns or gets better at anything, ya know?

There’s comes a point where you have to stop thinking about something and just do it.

Becoming or learning anything always takes doing something different.

If you don’t do anything different, nothing happens.

But if you can just have some gumption and just get going,

Just start,

Just do some simple things on a regular basis …

You can better at ANYTHING very quickly.

If you’re anxious for example,

Ignoring that anxiety and being calmer is a skill you can practice.

It takes time though <—- that’s important to realise.

It takes you starting,

It takes you ignoring those anxious thoughts, not adding to them with more anxiety.

It takes a mindful, aware approach.

And it takes you continuing.

Then you start to build some momentum in the direction of your choice.

I have a few people come and learn the Bright Path Ishayas' Ascension meditation,

And they want to be experts, like, last week.

“Why do I still have these thoughts and these habits?” - they cry.

“Well”, I cry back -

“You practice rarely - and if you do practice, you don’t keep it simple or do what I say”.

“And you’re looking to be an expert in less time that it takes me to change my underwear …?”

They always look confused at that one.

So, rules of overcoming or learning anything:

Just do it. Jump in. You can spend your life thinking about it. Just start.

Do it every day,

Get comfortable not being an expert, get comfy being a beginner and asking questions,

Do it over a long period of time. You won’t master it in your first week, or even year. Just show up anyway.

Then something magic happens:

You’ll get to a point where you have what you wanted when you started, and more -

Say freedom from anxiety,

And yet you will know the game so well, you will know your head so well, you know there is no finish line.

That whatever skill or knowledge or learning or ability just gets better and better.

That all experts are only experts because they love learning, they love becoming more.

It stops being about getting away from, again say, anxiety,

And becomes about running towards greater and greater peace of mind, joy and freedom.

That is infinite.

As in greater and greater.

How wonderful is that?

In Ascension meditation we call the state of the expert beginner as being innocent.

You have innocence right when you begin (because you are a beginner)

You forget it when you think you know something,

Then - if you’re smart - you grab it back for yourself again, pronto

And you get well on the road to being a beginner with an expert's smile).

If you want to know more about innocence?

About ending anxiety?

Here's a free guide which also means I'll send you emails like this (though you can unsubscribe easily at any time):

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb

Go well!

Arjuna

PS.

The two things Buddha said you can do wrong on this path of getting to know yourself completely through meditation/mindfulness?

Not starting.

And not finishing.

Wise man that B.