How to be truly stylish

How many stylish individuals do you know? The style I’m talking about is found in the free agents. The ones who have that sense of “nothing to prove, nothing to hide”. They’re not busting their buns trying to be noticed, or trying to be something for someone … they’re just content in who they are. _______

"Style is knowing who you are, what you want to say, and not giving a damn” - Gore Vidal _______

Style is not letting anyone define your life for you.

What a powerful thing, style, isn’t it? I bet you’ve had those times when you just feel settled. Content. Comfortable in your own skin. Self-contained. There’s an inner sense of “ahhhhhh”. There isn’t even a sense of not giving a damn, you’re just free to live.

This kind of style is a skill you can obtain.

It requires perseverance but no strain. It requires awareness and returning to the present moment. It requires seeing all those self-critical and harsh judgements and condemnations that go through your skull and being indifferent to them. It requires being willing to actively praise and be grateful for your life and for others; it requires an end to gossip.

But you can possess that self-possessed style of being free to exist however you wish. You can. Anything else is just a habit and you can create a new habit.

Start now!

Let me know if you have a question? Or I can help with anything at all.

Go well! Arjuna

PS. A good practice to gather style can be found right here for you: https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/houradaymindful/ 

A life lesson that may have nothing to do with Thor

I am a very happy chappy right now. I’m a very happy chappy anyways, very content with my lot, but very shortly my ladies are leaving me in search of this thing called “London”.

This means two things: I can freely go to the cinema to see something mindlessly full - or is it mindfully less? Anyway, lookout Thor! Here I come.

Have you heard that joke? Thor’s riding his horse and is feeling rather pleased with himself; “I am Thor!” he yells.

At which is horse replies “well uthe a thaddle, thilly!”

And that is the clean version. Ahem.

The other thing is that I can head out kayaking all weekend if I wanna. The weather forecast is brilliant too, in that’s it’s all wet. Good stuff.

Which reminds me - a lesson for you, that kayaking taught me: Look where you want to go.

If you look at the rocks, you end up on them. If you look for the easy water, you’ll go there.

Profound huh? I thought so too.

OK - let me explain: You go where you put your attention. What you focus on, grows.

You focus on what could grow wrong, and that tends to be what happens. Focus on how much you don’t have, what is missing, what is lacking and that is what you get. Overwhelm and negativity and stress.

Focus on what is good, on what is right, on what you do have? Peace, confidence, optimism and enjoyment.

Now - it’s important you recognise what could go wrong, the reality of where you are now, but don’t dwell on it. Only a fool would kayak down a rapid without having a good look first. Once you’ve decided to go? Focus on what you need to do to get to the bottom safely and with a smile on your face.

I really hope that makes sense.

If it doesn’t make sense I really hope it entertained you. Because happiness and fun has to be the bottom line. Even hard work need not be a drudgery - it can be fun if you have the right attitude and focus on the right things.

What you focus on grows, your attitude makes all the difference. Let me know if I can help with something- Go well! Arjuna

PS. Adjusting your attitude is a simple matter of making a mindful, aware choice. Here’s a little practice that will help you be just that:

https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/houradaymindful/ 

Other people are hell?

Other people are one of the biggest challenges in life, aren't they? Pesky fellows never do what you want them to. And you may practice being mindful and aware. Being aware of when you start to get triggered and start blindly reacting so you can take the half step back and choose how you want to respond.

But other people are still the challenge still, aren’t they? Because they AREN’T that aware, and as someone was saying to me the other day, when they get the grumps, so you inevitably follow - even though you practice being calm.

Rats!

How do they do it? How do they suck you in? How do they destroy your calm?

The fact is that so many many of us have become so used to feeling how other people are feeling that we’re hooked in. It’s almost a survival mechanism - to try and calm the waters, make everyone else feel okay, because then, the thought goes, well then you can be happy.

Or, they react and are grumpy and snappy, and you - previously relaxed - get all het up too. Zero to Grrrr! in 2 seconds flat.

But what kind of happiness is dependent on someone else’s?

No kind of happiness.

You can't do much about other people's reactions and moods. You just can’t. So get good at un-entangling yourself from theirs. You don’t need them to be happy in order to be happy yourself. If they’re in a funk? By all means see if you can assist, but if they’re not interested or slow to respond, then so be it. No reason for you to follow suit. No reason to throw yourself in the pit too.

Don’t be attached to them being any particular way. Just keep practicing choosing to be present, and therefore content and calm, no matter what is going on around you.

Get good at that, and the fascinating thing you’ll find is when you disconnect (not in an uncaring way) but just staying unattached - calm and centred and good - in many cases they lose the motivation to be grumpy, simply because you're not playing.

Which is interesting isn’t it? Sometimes it takes two to tango. You no dance? There is no dance.

Me thinks you’ll have plenty of opportunity to practice what with all the social occasions this December. Plenty of practice is good!

Go well, Arjuna

PS. Here’s a great way of getting better at all of that, and what a wonderful thing that is!

https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/houradaymindful/ 

What would happen to you if … ?

What would happen if you gave up all of your shoulds, woulds and coulds? What if you quit all your insistences?

What if you dropped all your comparisons, evaluations, prejudices, judgements?

What if you stopped putting yourself under so much unnecessary pressure, trying to live up to unrealistic expectations?

What if you were nicer and gentler to yourself?

What if you stopped mentally running off and speculating over and over on an unknown future, a future you had no control over?

What if you were able to just quit worrying and being anxious?

What if you could stop snapping and flying off the handle?

What if you just spoke those words when you really need to?

What if you had the courage to change those things you want to change?

What if you had the serenity to accept the things you couldn’t?

What if you were wise enough to know the difference?

What if you stopped regularly to switch off, to enjoy, to smell the roses?

What if you looked after yourself first, even for just a small amount of time, so you didn’t end up exhausted and resenting them?

What if you stopped pining for a nostalgic past and fully embraced your present situation?

What if you were able to ignore those voices in your head?

What if you could laugh more?

What if you had those adventures?

What if you were calm and content, able to deal with the bumps of life with the greatest of ease?

What if?

All it takes is remembering that these things are important to you. And while you can have the intention to remember as much as possible - you can only remember WHEN you remember, like now.

https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/houradaymindful/

Go well! Arjuna

I love great questions, don’t you?

Got a great question on the back of a recent email - The email was all about the importance of being fluid, of finding out what works for you - of not shying away from hard work, but avoiding harshness and rigidity like the plague. In other words, making sure you do what you do because the bottom line is more and more joy. ________

"A follow up question. Is there scope for rigour in our practice? I don't mean strictness or punishment. I'm just thinking about disciplines which do require followers to push themselves in order to achieve enlightenment." ________

This is such a great question. Here’s what I said:

Absolutely, there is space for zeal and commitment and integrity ... but it needs to be in the most useful direction. So often zeal is misdirected into activities that have no use in helping you become filled with presence, dissolving into that lovely state of clarity, stillness and peace.

AND ... quite often zeal and commitment becomes forcefulness and self-violence. It can be easy for many people to fall into suppression and rigidity and harshness and even out and out brutality. The fact is ANY SORT of controlling, trying, straining just slows your growth down.

Read that last line again ^^^

This path we’re talking about - one to greater and greater calm, contentment, fulfillment, joy, freedom … it requires no harshness or self-violence or even seriousness of any sort. You cannot have a more heavenly life travelling via hell.

Stubbornness? Yup - A very useful trait  - but it needs balancing with patience and gentleness and fluidity.

OK?

So take a load off. You keep stepping in the direction you want to go, keep practicing those right things, and you will master your mind, and enjoy all the benefits there of. With a bigger and bigger smile on your face.

Go well! Arjuna

PS. You will find your point of balance with all of this. Tune in, get present, and see what the best course of action for YOU is. You’ll have to give up the shoulds, and what everyone else is doing - but no one really wants them anyway, AND you shall find what works for you.

PPS. Tuning in, getting present, seeing what works for you? Head this way to get good at that:

https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/houradaymindful/

How to avoid knocking someone unconscious in a Peppa Pig rage

Did you see recently - in the scrum to see a giant Peppa Pig down London way, one mum was knocked unconscious by another? I know Peppa Pig is serious business, but getting SO uptight you’ll punch someone to gain preferential access to a 8 foot tall pink pig is taking things a little too far, in my humble opinion.

I also know that rage, blind fury, snapping and flying off the handle, even reacting and roasting your loved ones with some anger or sarcasm is ALWAYS a recipe for regret ... and jail time if you’re the punching type.

How do you NOT though?

How can you stop losing your cool? - at work, at home, on the road, on the sports field, where ever … ? Even just a little bit, how do you stop the frazzle? Because it's possible.

Typically during your day it’s never one big event that causes you to lose it, is it? It’s the dozens and dozens of little frustrations and imperfections and failures and let downs and thwartations (new word I made up) - those dozens of little cuts that when they all build up - that's when you see red when someone cuts in front of you in the line to a giant pig.

The thing is, you have to practice dealing with life’s downs in a different way. You have to notice them building and do something to release the pressure. Instead of letting them get to you, meaning they build up and up until you explode, developing the “Meh” factor is all important - the shrugging of your shoulders even when you sorely wish something went differently.

Saying your peace if necessary, of course, but in a calm, measured way, not with a fist - or it’s verbal equivalent.

This takes practice! I need to say this again - this takes practice. Getting to a point where you’re aware of how frazzled you're actually getting so you can choose to bring it back down ... this all takes practice.

So what can you practice, if you don't want to explode? 2 things:

Meditation - simple, easy, and practiced right is the thing for gaining a bullet proof Meh factor. I would say learn to Ascend. Absolutely. I’m not teaching anything until next year, but you may find a course you can travel to here:

https://www.thebrightpath.com/courses?t=75 Want something right now?

I understand - I have a natty little handout on meditation so you can get started asap, if you so desire. You can gain it by downloading it here:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb

AND/OR …

Become more mindful and present and calm with your eyes open. More awareness means you notice the frazzle sooner and can back off BEFORE it is too late.

And I have just the thing for you right here, a challenge to super increase your levels of this, and all within 7 days:

https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/houradaymindful/ Questions? Let me have them!

Go well, Arjuna

PS. I mean it when I say if you have any questions hit me up. True!

“Stop being such a doofus …”

My lovely wife Sumati, in fine form: “Stop being such a doofus”

I love a gentle, supportive, guiding hand back on track, don’t you? Ha ha! Well, sometimes you can’t choose HOW the reminder comes, it’s just enough that you got the wakeup call.

See the fact is, I WAS being a doofus, completely. Have you ever talked yourself out of doing something? Of course you have. I used to do it ALL the time. I do it a lot less now, but there’s always that time to remind there’s no such thing as perfect or finished.

Talking yourself out of things: there’s this bright idea to do something or go somewhere - and then the second and third thoughts come in and give you all the reasons why you shouldn’t or couldn’t or why just staying at home and doing the same old, same old is a better idea than heading forth on an adventure. Which is exactly what happened.

I LOVE kayaking. And it’s been forever since I was went last. So when it started raining last night a ton, I got a little excited. I was watching the river coming up, preparing everything, checking the river levels again, stretching in preparation, checking the river levels … And then this morning I was all second and third thoughts. “Well, maybe I SHOULD be doing some work, maybe the river is too high, actually it’s going to be too low, ooh, it’s really cold out there …”

Enter the Sumati and the doofus uppercut. And thank goodness. Because being on the river was such a blast. Resistance. The biggest handbrake to you doing anything new, lies in your own head. Your mind loves inertia. The same old, same old. No change thanks. So I guess the moral of the story is that no matter what your plan, your idea, your new thing, expect the resistance and just do it anyway.

No one got to the end of their life and said “I wish I’d listened to all the excuses why not a little bit more”. Right? So practice not listening.

Where would you be without them?

Pretty darn happy and fulfilled, I would say. Having adventures. Living the dream.

Go well! Arjuna

PS -

Getting familiar with your own mind - so you can have free choice on what you listen to, so you can be independent of those unconscious patterns and reactions - is a giant step forward in terms of enjoying less stress and negativity and way more calm, contentment and aliveness.

You might really enjoy this sweet little challenge I got going to become more familiar with every moment, complete with Facebook group for extra goodies:

https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/houradaymindful/

Well, it’s alright for you Mr Monk

Some people assume that since I have a modicum of calm and contentment and self-awareness, that I was born this way. “It’s alright for you” they say, assuming that I have remained static throughout my life. It’s not the case. Being the way I am now, living the life I live now, and my attitude to it all - it has come from practice. In fact, it's all come from a determination to not let the negative and overwhelmed habits of my mind win.

Which is great news -

If I can get a degree of mastery over the limitation of my own mind, then you can too - no matter where you think you are beginning from. It’s just a matter of practicing until you become so good you can do it with your eyes closed and your hands tied behind your back (if you like that sort of thing).

Honestly - practice makes all the difference, and especially so when you’re ready to quit, when you’re thinking you’re useless and a loser, and what’s the point anyway? When you’re filled with negativity. When you’re filled with overwhelm, when you’re almost sick with worry and anxiety or doubt or regret.

I know these things. But no matter what is going on for you, there is a better way to live life. There is, and it’s definitely something you can have. And I think your heart knows that to be true - otherwise you wouldn't be reading this. It won’t let you quit until you find a way of living superbly, no matter what your head says.

You practice the right things and you will come out the other side. There’ll be a time when you might look back and you know you won’t ever go back to misery because you have mastered the cause of your own pain and suffering.

Then you can truly help someone else - from experience. And they’ll listen, because you’re talking the truth.

So don’t ever believe that calm and contentment, freedom from the limitations of your mind is only for someone else. That everyone else gets it, but you never will. That is, as they say, just complete bullpucky. You just ignore those thoughts and keep stepping and you’ll get there.

Alright? And if I can help? Please just drop me a line.

Go well! Arjuna

PS. Here’s a little practice that can really help you master your mind - a simple way to fill up your day with more awareness and presence, calm and joy.

And we have a growing Facebook group for direct help. Join up here:

https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/houradaymindful/ 

What is success to you?

My daughter climbed the stairs this morning for the first time. What have you achieved?

Ha! I’ll tell you what I’ve done in terms of productivity: nada.

I have been taking some time off after a great spell of teaching, spending time with my two bubbas, resting, Ascending, cooking, walking, reading. In the meantime emails are backing up, messages are going unanswered. It is a great joy to NOT attend to all that, just for a day or two.

Interesting how our culture confuses success solely with doing and with productivity, right?

Trouble is - and I would say just about everyone suffers from this - no one has any balance. Everyone is stressed and exhausted. Trying to do everything all at once. No rest and recharge, no getting things in perspective, very little kicking back - just more and more exhaustion along with the subsequent reacting, flying off the handle, getting sick, all the time.

Success, true success that is, changes. Success is different to you, all the time.

Expectations - those sometimes ridiculous over the top expectations - don’t change. Those thoughts that say you should do this, that, and the other thing, all with the perfect hair (being bald means perfect hair is a given - unless we’re talking the comb over; now that is hard to pull off) …

But expectations are never about listening, tuning in to what you need to do right now. Force comes in over fluidity, you push and you push and yet sometimes the most successful thing you will do all day is climb the stairs. Or see your daughter’s smile as she reaches the top for the first time.

Check out your mind, your patterns, your shoulds and insistences. Be aware of forcing something. Sometimes the greatest thing you can do is take a complete break. Sometimes the greatest thing you can do is back off.

The more you do it, the more you find you get so much from it.

Go well!

Arjuna

PS. I have a little mindfulness/awareness programme that will help with making sure you get little mini-breaks during the day.

Head this way to get the details, and the link to join the Facebook group for some excellent reminders to help you remember:

https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/houradaymindful/

Why aren’t you a vegan?

People ask me how I can be a monk and yet not be very monkly. Please note, I write monkly and not monkey, though "people" could be meaning that: Why are you so monkey and not monkly?

Why don’t I practice sitting ramrod straight with folded legs? Why aren’t I a vegan? Why do I drink coffee? Why do you drink whiskey? Why do I have a family? Why do I take all of this so un-seriously?

The fact of the matter is I have tried all of the things that are “correct”. I have tried just about everything under the sun that you are “supposed” to do. And I have rejected most of them because they didn’t work for me. I couldn’t see the benefit - again personally speaking - for me.

For example, when I was a vegan because it was the “right” thing to do, I was actually slowly starving myself. People may say that my diet was all wrong, and I should have this supplement and that supplement, but the truth is it was too rigid - for me - and it didn’t bring me any joy.

Hence the whiskey and the coffee. Even though they are “intoxicants”, a little goes a long way to making my heart sing … “lah lah lahhhh …” Joy is a very underrated propellant for transformation.

I had someone yell at me once; accusing me of not following the proper way of meditating and carrying myself as dictated by the ancient texts. I shrugged my shoulders and said “meh” - and noted he wasn’t sitting on a goat hair skin either.

Rigidity - it is the enemy of joy. It is the enemy of freedom. It is the enemy of discovery.

I’m not against rituals and useful barriers, of taking choices that don’t serve you off the table - but they have to serve a noticeable purpose and benefit TO YOU.

Otherwise it’s just dogma. And dogma just makes your life grey. It puts you in a whole world of “I should”, and that is a nasty wormhole to get trapped in.

It also has to be sustainable. It has to be something you will do time and time again. Now that will change, but regularity trumps (excuse the term) “proper but never done” every time.

So work out what works for you. Work out what brings you maximum joy - don’t just accept someone’s word for it, test it, try it. If an authority is available, quiz them about it.

Alright?

Good work - go well!

Arjuna

PS.

Mindfulness - it’s a funny concept, highjacked a little. I prefer the word “awareness” or “presence” or “noticing” … it is training to be familiar with this moment in time, but also the part of you that never ever changes - even in the middle of the biggest thought or emotional storm. The anchor that stops you flying off the handle, and all it takes to have it is a little practice.

This is a little challenge I devised to get more awareness, and therefore less stress, overwhelm and negativity with more fun, focus and contentment:

https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/houradaymindful/

What have I done wrong?

I got a Facebook message the other day, regarding the little mindfulness challenge that I got going on.

_______

Arjuna I haven’t done the mindfulness meditation for two days! I have slept and slept and I’m starting afresh today … I hope no one else has slipped up like me!! Thing is I don’t know why ... I was feeling so good and getting excellent results straight away, whats happened ??!

_______

Now whether you are part of the challenge or not, here’s the thing:

You will forget, you will get distracted, you will fall asleep. This is normal, this is habits.

The critical thing you can choose to have - the attitude you can choose to take - is one of gentleness, and a willingness to simply get back on the horse WHEREVER you find yourself.

Forgiveness and patience, and innocence too - you can only be mindful and aware right now. You can’t do a single thing about the past; it has totally gone, it has removed itself from you.

And that is the whole point of being mindful and aware, of meditating: is making the habit that now is it. Now is the one place you can attend to, the one place you can live, the one place you can do anything about.

So when you forget - and you will, unless you are an Olympic athlete of awareness - simply smile and begin again. No recriminations, no wondering what you have done wrong, do nothing but resetting to here and now. Re-begin again - give yourself that gift.

OK? Keep it that simple and life will become a constant joy.

Go well!

Arjuna

PS.

If you’d like to be a part of this challenge - the goal of which is to become more aware, more focussed, more happy, more half-stepped back from those pesky thoughts and feelings, here’s all the gubbins:

https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/houradaymindful/ 

A bizarre idea on how to be happy

A question, a great question, came in this morning:

______

“I’ve been told that if you don’t suffer you can’t know the meaning of happiness. What is your take on this?”

______

Bizarro! (That is my take on it).

First of all - I love people. One of the things that makes my life that extra bit sparklier is connecting with people, hanging out, inspiring, getting to know each other. Having said that, humanity holds some truly bizarre ideas to be true, such as the one above.

You know you enjoy something simply because of the fact that you like it, it is enjoyable in itself.

For example, I love apples. There is an apple tree in bubba’s grandad’s garden that is full of the most delightful apples. I could eat them all day long. Sometimes with peanut butter, most times without. Yom, yom and yom.

I do not need to eat brussel sprouts (which I detest) to know how much I love these apples. I do not need to even merely smell a durian fruit (if you don’t know it - look it up - the description is enough to make you shudder) to know how good these apples are. I do not need to suffer in any way for these apples to make me very, very happy.

Do you get that?

Suffering is not necessary to enjoy. Not at all.

In fact - suffering need not be apart of life. It doesn’t make you human. It isn’t necessary, at all. You were born into joy, life doesn’t HAVE to include anything else but joy.

The only benefit to suffering could be giving you the motivation to find a way never to go into suffering again. I know it did that for me.

But beyond that, a path into heaven just gets more heavenly the more you walk it. It doesn’t go through hell. That just doesn’t make sense. OK?

Now - ask yourself, if it’s even a tiny bit possible that I’m right on this, why not investigate ways of being free from suffering? Wouldn’t that make life truly amazing?

Yes indeed, it would.

Go well!

Arjuna

PS.

Well those 15 minutes coaching slots filled up quick! I might do some more in December, but what I would advise, if you haven’t already, is get onto my mindfulness challenge -

Here’s the link to all the info, and the facebook group:

https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/houradaymindful/ 

The power of the “Meh” factor

What is this “Meh” factor I talk of?

A long time reader has recently informed me how grateful he is for the gift of increased “Meh” that has come from putting into practice my ways contained within these emails and the courses I teach.

You see - the Meh factor is when you practice this stuff and come to a point where you can’t be bothered being provoked. You can’t gather enough energy to respond to someone attempting to push your buttons. You can’t muster enough caring to outburst, instead, at best you roll your eyes and just go “Meh”.

By practicing presence and calm it actually gets harder to rise to unexpected news and/or someone baiting you. Isn't that wonderful? It takes real effort to get angry.

It’s a brilliant response too, for those loved ones around you who love to poke you with a long stick, just to see if they can make you react - you know, otherwise known as “teenagers” (but obviously not confined to just them).

When you can’t be bothered playing their games? They are left very confused, very confused indeed. Like a balloon that has all their air removed.

It always takes two to tango, and when you don’t dance, they have to change their tune. Or some kind of metaphor along those lines …

And how wonderful. What is left for you is calm, contentment and perspective. A realisation that you can change your habits of reacting and outbursting and take control of your own peace.

So here's to the “Meh” factor!

May you have plenty of it, so you can focus your energies on what you really want to focus on. Hurrah!

Go well!

Arjuna

PS.

I’m all out of courses for this year. Done and dusted beyond a few things if you've already learnt to Ascend. There'll be more in the new year for sure which I'll let you know about.

But - if you’re interested in grabbing a free 15 minute coaching call before then, I’m giving a bunch away soon.

Here’s the link if you want one:

http://www.arjunaishaya.com/contact/ 

Get rid of that harsh inner voice

OK - negativity sucks, and especially when it comes from within your own head.

I know this for sure, because I’ve suffered from it, and I’ve talked to a lot of people about it - it doesn’t matter who you are and what you’ve achieved in the past, your own head is your worst, nastiest critic. Nothing is good enough.

There is nothing more demoralising, nothing more hard work than living with a mind that is telling you what a loser you are.

Sometimes you would not talk to a dog the way you talk to yourself. If you could hear your internal dialogue coming out of someone else’s mouth? You’d be shocked. And all for what?

Because you made a mistake? Because you slipped up? Because you want to do something better?

What to do about it?

Alrighty - I have a little challenge for you. Something I’ve been getting the guys in the mindfulness Facebook group to play with (click here to join), and I thought I’d tell you too.

24 hours long is the challenge. For these 24 hours you will:

Assume there is no wrong.

It'll require that you actively watch your mind for what it tells you. Simply reframe - there is no wrong, there is simply something you needed to learn. If so, what did you learn?

Great - draw a line under it, begin again. Hit the reset button.

Got it? Get going there, let me know if you have any questions.

Go well!

Arjuna

PS.

The answer is always at the bottom isn’t it?

Give the above a shot first, I want you to see something. Then come back to this …

You’re going to see that you can reframe anything. You can choose your attitude on everything that you do or that happens to you.

You don’t like it? OK - is this proof that you’ve got it wrong, AGAIN? Or can you focus on what you have learnt? What you will do differently?

Completely different approach, completely different inner “sense” isn’t it? One is harming and draining, the other supporting and encouraging - and all through your choice.

Good work - keep choosing!

PPS.

Want the low down on the mindfulness awareness challenge, complete with Facebook page where I set homework like this?

https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/houradaymindful/

Getting more self-confidence and ditching doubt

If you’re like me it seems like you weren’t born with a ton of self-confidence (which is not true at all, but we'll get to that).

You get caught up in those voices in your head that are doubting and anxious - they seem quite real, a lot of the time.

These voices stop you doing stuff, don’t they? From saying the thing you want to say, from getting out and doing those things, from being seen.

It’s frustrating, at least it can be.

I can’t count the number of times I’ve gone over and over what I should have said or what I should have done. Torturing myself long after the event has passed.

Though I worked out how to get around it.

You see, there are two different versions of you. One of those versions has no issues with confidence, doubt, anxiety, worry - any of that. They simply don’t exist. Why? This version of you isn’t trying to be someone else. It isn’t trying to live up to anyone’s expectations, it isn’t concerned with what anyone else thinks, it isn't trying to do "it" right.

It is what it is, nothing to prove, nothing to hide. No masks, no roles, no presenting of false images, just 100% authentic you.

You have that already - you are that already - and that is the whole purpose of something like the Bright Path Ishayas’ Ascension. To live as that version of you more and more.

When you practice Ascension those limiting programs of doubt, worry, fear - and that’s what they are, just programs - simply run out of juice. They stop stopping you. Which is a wonderful state of affairs, because then it's easier to practice saying what you know you want to say.

I think I’ve written about this before (if I haven’t, I should have!), from the carefree version of you comes the first thoughts. The doubting program comes in with the second and third thoughts - “I can’t say that!” which overrides the first - wise - thoughts.

Then there’s the question that I personally know well, and see a lot around, “How do I …”

As in “How do I ask for a raise/time off?”, “How do I ask that girl/boy out?”, “How do I ask for what I want?”, “How do I stand up for myself?”. Such self-torture through trying to work out the “best” way of asking for something.

The simple answer seems to be you just have to do it.

You just have to practice opening your mouth and speaking, asking for what you want, speaking those first thoughts.

There’s a time and a place for everything, yes, but what I’ve found is usually the time and the place is when you and the other are together and the first thoughts come in. Right there, open your mouth.

Just be that great version of you - practice your Ascension - and speak. I promise it gets easier.

What I know for sure is the thinking about it is the torture. The doing? Not so bad really, at all.

Go well!

Arjuna

PS.

No idea about Ascension? Here's a wonderful list that I put together about how to be more mindful in your daily life - 108 practical ways of living beyond those programs, making sure they don't take over.

Get your free copy here:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb

You choose hell or heaven for yourself

I get a lot of emails, which I love. I've just sat with my cup of tea and gone through them.

I love being of service, I mean, I took vows of service as an Ishaya AND I really love helping people who want to do things differently - which is handy, isn’t it?

I love sharing my experience of the choices that mean you have peace and calm in your life, and equally those choices that mean you have stress, overwhelm, negativity - pain.

For me it all comes down to ONE thing. And this one thing is this:

Heaven and hell is all your choice.

Realising how you do that to yourself is an incredible moment. A real "aha!" and a chance to move forward, a chance to do something differently - IF you're willing.

When you take that half step back you can see this clearer and sooner. When you’re rushing, when you’re so involved in the troubles of life, when you’re IN the drama you can’t see this so well.

One of the best pieces of advice I ever got?

Slow down a touch. Take regular moments to get your perspective and your baseline back. Nothing is lost through regular recalibration, everything is gained.

The ability to see where you create hell or heaven for yourself is such a wonderful gift. After all, life isn’t so much about the circumstances, but how you deal with these circumstances.

You can’t control everything. Sometimes, often times, you’re just thrown a wobbly one and left to get on and deal with it.

Your ability to choose your attitude, choose which thoughts you listen to and which you ignore, choose to be wrapped up in a past or a future you have no control over or be present …

All these things are priceless in not only getting what you want from life, but enjoying each and every step along the way.

Each and every step.

It all begins now. All of life is crystallised into right now. This is it. Such a joy because you - if you allow yourself - get to start again, fresh, over and over. A restart.

Go well, make it about what you can do, now.

Arjuna

PS.

If you're interested in this sort of thing, you might really like a free guide I wrote - 108 ways you can remember your choice for calm, your choice for peace, your choice for freedom.

Here it is if you'd like a copy:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb

Is there life BEFORE death? - That is the question!

I woke up this morning and looked out the window to see a wonder.

The fields at the back of the house completely white with frost, and the low autumn sun sneaking up, making everything shine with colour. Spectacular.

There are moments in life that take your breath away.

When you stop, and go “wow!”. This morning was one of them.

Someone once said that the quality of a life perhaps could be measured not in how many moments you have, but how many moments that took your breath away. That the question of whether there is life after death is irrelevant, people should concern themselves only with whether there is life BEFORE death.

The trouble is with “wow” moments is that people don’t put themselves in the way of them enough.

Life is lived at such a fast pace that showing up to now is rare -

“I’ll just get this done, and that done, and then I’ll stop” … you know it, you know you never seem to get to the end of your to do list. So busy thinking and doing and rushing around - so how will you ever fill a life with “wow!”?

In fact, a life of “why?” can become “normal” - as in “why is this happening to me?!”

It’s a tragedy because a whole life can be lost, just through not paying attention - and yet it’s the simplest thing to do. Mindfully giving your attention to the one thing in front of you.

Remembering to look up and away from your phone at the far view, at what’s around you. Remembering to stop and check out of the frantic nature of your own mind, even just for a breath or three.

The amount of wow moments you have is directly related to how often you come out of your busy head and appreciate what there is, here, now.

I know you're busy, I know people are depending on you. But no one is going to do it for you - you’re going to have to build that habit of being more Awake and Alive yourself. So rewarding it is. So great to really live, no matter how busy your life feels. So great to live a life of wow.

And how happy will your loved ones be, when they get the best version of you back? Super dooper happy.

You can do it.

Go well!

Arjuna

PS.

If you'd like to be more mindful - here's a free 7 day challenge that will be right up your street.

Everything you need to build the mindfulness "muscle":

https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/houradaymindful/

There's even a very supportive challenge Facebook group for you to check out (details in above link).

When things don’t happen when you want

Another thing I’ve realised, as I still find myself convalescing from this flu … or super hero transformation, whatever it may be … is that destiny has it’s own timetable.

As much as I’d like to be up and running on full power, like, yesterday, that isn’t an option.

Doing as little as possible still is the way forward. The way backward involves doing too much and sliding back into the world of joints that don’t work and a battery that is so flat, watching dust and hair swirl around in the sun, cheek pressed flat to the floor is the only thing possible.

I know it feels like you have to do everything.

Maybe you do. But most of the time you don’t. You can ask for help. Actually you need to ask for help. That is the big thing. Stop feeling embarrassed that everyone is running around after you. Enjoy it! And along with that, the greatest thing you can do to recover quicker is stopping the fight against a timetable that is far bigger than you.

There are far bigger chefs than you at work, and it would appear they need you to marinate for a little longer.

You can fight and struggle and exhaust yourself, prolonging illness further and further down the track. Or you can surrender and give up to the reality. Give up your ideas of what should happen and when.

Ironically it’s then, when you fully and unconditionally surrender, healing can start to happen.

If it will at all, that is, and in it's own good time. Anything else just gets in the way.

It’s a super hero transformation after all! If you recover well, you’ll come out the other side with mutant super powers. And that will be awesome.

That’s me - hope you’re having a lovely weekend.

Go well!

Arjuna

PS.

A wonderful way of learning "letting go", can be found right here:

It's free too:

https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/houradaymindful/

Loosening that death grip of control

When you’ve been out of the world for over a week, it teaches you a certain kind of humility. This humility comes when you realise everything is ticking along completely as normal - without you.

I was not required for reality to function.

Isn’t that disappointing? I’m irrelevant to the functioning of the world. And I thought I was such a big shot! Ha. Shows me.

It’s kinda cool though - like, if you just sit with me in this moment; just be here … this also requires nothing, does it? Needs nothing, requires nothing - this moment just ticks over.

You can let out a sigh, if you like.

My job - and your job - can be just to sit and watch and as it unfolds, applause - “Hurrah!”

Now I know that sounds dangerously like doing nothing. Like leaving the ship to steer itself, and if it steers itself, then surely it’ll end up on the rocks!

Or just turning circles.

The fascinating thing is that control of your destiny only needs a light touch - nothing heavy handed at all. But what I mean is sometimes it feels like if you stop steering, the world will crash. Nature itself will end.

“I MUST stay in control! I CANNOT take a break”

You live your life - and every body else’s - with your hands so tight on the steering wheel, white-knuckled, you can’t even pause to change the radio. It’s a grip - actually - of pure fear.

The amazing thing is you're also attempting to steer everyone’s ships in the direction you think they should be going too. Which is an incredible feat of skill - or something.

HOWEVER, maybe you’re right - but beyond a suggestion or two, if you do it for them, they’ll never learn to do it for themselves, will they?

Keeping your hands to yourself and getting rid of the grip, two very useful lessons in life.

That is, if you’re interested in living an easier life - one that is stress free, empty of overwhelm, enjoyable, free - where you skip off into the sunset … that kind of life.

It can be done.

The fascinating thing is as you let go of such overwhelming control, how bizarre, how tiring, how sometimes actually frightening, such control is when you see it in someone else.

Anyhoo, I’m done. This little virus is still being sweated out and I feel like a cup of tea and a lie down for a moment.

Let me have any questions!

Go well,

Arjuna

PS.

Almost forgot - everyone is learning this to some degree. Do not feel like you’re the only one, you are SO not. You can learn to “let go” - and you must, really, for a happy, healthy, balanced life.

Here’s where I would start if I wanted to learn to let go - just a little bit every day - 

It's a really cool, free challenge to becoming free of stress, complete with guide:

https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/houradaymindful/

Take it easy!

It's ok - I pulled through, just!

But it certainly was a close thing.

Sorry I’ve been MIA but I had a real dose of something nasty. I’ve never been so sick as not being able to stand and having to crawl to the loo, then deciding that I’d better have a little rest on the way back.

The most amazing thing though - that new perspective, cheek to the hallway floor. I saw a whole new world of dust and hair and stuff along the edges.

Just joking - I realised, as I lay waiting for the energy to resume the journey back to bed, that this was a very glass half full moment.

This flu was actually in all likelihood the transformation due to that E.T./Universal light DNA activation upgrade that I’d ordered back on that night of planetary alignment in 2001; I was slightly dubious at the time but figured it couldn’t hurt. Now my small faith is being repaid:

Basically I’m becoming a super hero.

All mutant super dooper people go through a process, don’t they? And this is mine, as my cells refigure themselves. I have no idea what kind of super hero I’ll be, but I’ll let you know very soon. As soon as I can get out of the hallway, that is.

I used to think that I needed something extra, something more and new, something to make me better, more ready to live the life I was supposed to live.

There is no end of people waiting.

There are a few noble souls who have decided to stop waiting. To just find and be that quality of quiet certainty within themselves - and naturally from that - their place in the world, exactly as they are.

That certainty means they no longer need to promote an image or a preferred idea to the world. Beyond content, they simply live each moment as their true irreverent, irrelevant and most wonderful selves.

The peace and the power that comes from that experience is extraordinary.

You can wait a very long time until you have what you need, until you have permission, until you are better. Or you can start to come to terms with your perfection right now.

If you’re interested, I would start right here. Join my email list and I'll give you a FREE guide to a great challenge:

https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/houradaymindful/

Do you NEED it? No, you need nothing. Does it make mastering your mind incredibly simple? Why yes, yes it indeed does.

https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/houradaymindful/

Go well,

Arjuna

PS.

Oh hey - remember, as always, once you've learnt you can repeat as much or as little of the weekend as you like for free.

And I guarantee you'll walk away feeling like your DNA has been given, if not an upgrade, a most definite polish and a rubdown.

Be great to see you if you want to come in - do let me know though because the rooms going to be full and I want to make sure I can get you in