The most violent thing you do

I’m not violent you say … and yet: Do you know what one of the most violent things you can actually do is?

Try to be someone that you’re not.

Do you know what one of the greatest realisations that you can ever come to is?

That you are enough, just as you are.

The enemy, if there is such a thing (which I talked a little about on Friday), is the more or less constant and continual judgement, comparison, evaluation of ourselves by ourselves.

It is the constant and continual self-management, self-appraisal and attempting to validate and secure a certain standing in the eyes of the rest of the world.

It is the constant and continual struggle to live up to certain unconscious ideas and expectations and standards, all soaked in from such an early age that they seem like “this is what is natural, this is the rules, this is the way you live life." 

What say you?

How much time do you spend thinking about who you are and what other people think of you? About who you are and how you’re doing in the world?

And then the whole commercial world reflects that back to us: “Buy this and be happy, be fulfilled!”, “Achieve this and find purpose!”, “Have this lifestyle and find your identity!”

What a relief, what a revolution then to realise that there is no “natural” way of living, no “truth” … it’s all just a commonly held belief of what a good life looks like … of what a good person should do and be.

It’s all a belief that, when you see it within yourself, you can take or leave. Go with it, or create your own.

But you have to see it’s the blindly fighting to live up to these expectations that keeps you away from peace and contentment, that keeps you stressed, that keeps you away from realising who you really are beyond your job, your possessions, your hobbies, your thoughts.

It’s the very thing that stops you fully living … because you’re always waiting to become.

You are enough, exactly as you are, warts and all.

What this world needs is people who are 100% ok in their own skin. And this doesn’t mean you give up goals and standards, but you do so with self-awareness, and a lightness of touch.

When you're 100% okay with who you are, you still grow – but not because you need to, but because you wantto. And grow all the more faster you do. (Yoda coming in, sorry.)

Some (some!) of the benefits of being this are contentment, peace, gratitude, honesty, acceptance, allowing, understanding … and being these things means you allow everyone else around to relax, to stop trying to be something they’re not too.

You can start to finally have a dialogue, a connection, true communication with others.

Being okay in your own skin. It’s one of the greatest things you can do for world peace, for the peace of your family.

A bold move though, nonetheless it’s super rewarding: a revolutionary act that takes place within and has resounding influence in the world.

Go well!Arjuna

PS.Practice meditation. I’d say learn the Bright Path Ishayas’ Ascension because it’s awesome. But whatever you do, do something.

It is the one thing that rapidly helps you relax in your own skin.

PPS.I have a free guide, it's all the ways I could think of to get less stressed, be more Alive, and make more of an impact on the world.To get a copy, head this way:

https://mailchi.mp/60dbe4ffeccf/freedom-from-thinking-so-much

Two questions for living a life that makes a difference

Who do you respect and admire?Alive or long gone, family or fictitious, neighbour or Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson … (it's okay, guilty secrets are fine with me. Embrace them, celebrate them!)

Who would you love to have as an aunty or uncle, just living around the corner so you could pop by and soak in their wisdom, their presence, as you're together in the kitchen peeling potatoes, drinking tea?

All of these people, everyone you respect and admire, was born with strengths. But all of them, every single one of them, were never born complete. They all had challenges, weaknesses, fears, troubles.

Perhaps that’s what made them the people you admire today – the fact that in many cases life wasn’t easy for them, that they had to work to overcome.

Regardless of the events of anyone’s life, a truth not so universally acknowledged is ... that no one is born finished.

If you’re interested in making a difference in someone else’s life, perhaps on a world scale, perhaps for your family and work mates and neighbours … if you’re interested in being worthy of respect and admiration, I think there are two very useful questions to keep alive in your life.

Two questions to revisit from time to time, to gauge a sense of how “well” you’re living life, are, number one:

“How can I do this better?”

Everyone can do everything better. Being open to seeing how you can be better means you get shown.

However, it takes a huge slice of humility. You’re never as good as your ego thinks you are. The more you know, the more you realise you’re just beginning and how much there is to learn … ha!

The second is:

“How can I enjoy this more?”

Seriousness of any kind is always a great sign you’re attached to a certain outcome, you’re fixed on being right, you’re a little bit stuck, you’re self-absorbed.

You can be involved in the most serious thing in the world, but having a light heart makes all the difference. To you, your ability to cope and to achieve, to everyone around you.

Seriousness is never a great idea.

Two questions then, combined with the ability to be present and live fully in this moment in time, in the same location as your body, means life becomes something wonderful.

It means your life not only becomes satisfying and fulfilling and alive to you, but is a gift to everyone else. A gift.

How wonderful is that?

Go well!Arjuna

PS. There is no finish line.

Isn’t that great? You will never get to “done.” You are not a pot-roast (or a roast potato if you’re vegan).

You are a constant work in progress. If you are willing, there can be a constant discovery of more. If you assume this attitude every single situation and person becomes a chance to see more, to be more.

With this attitude, there are no mistakes, there is no wrong. Then anything is always a case for you of, “OK - what do I want to do with this?”

And that attitude is amazing, inspiring, unstoppable.

PPS.If you're interested in these musings - some would say ramblings - coming directly to your email, here's a link to sign up:

https://mailchi.mp/60dbe4ffeccf/freedom-from-thinking-so-much

Iggy Pop and Anthony Bourdain on contentment vs drive

Wouldn't it be great to be able to choose yourself an honorary uncle or auntie? You'd be able to pop over and hang out and soak in their wisdom and life experience. Get advice, hear stories, ask questions. Learn and laugh, all at the same time.

Two uncles I would have chosen would be Iggy Pop and the recently deceased Anthony Bourdain.

I love these two gentlemen for the lives they have lived, because they seem to have taken life choices less made – and I recently read a great interview with the both of them.

Here it is, if you’re interested: http://www.gq-magazine.co.uk/article/iggy-pop-anthony-bourdain-interview

They’re asking each other about contentment versus drive.

Both are in a place where they no longer need to work for money, and they’re talking about why they keep doing what they’re doing, as opposed to retiring to a sunny locale and “waiting to die.”

Have a read, but contentment vs drive used to be a big personal question for me, and one I now get asked a lot (funny that!)

Contentment and drive are seen to be an either/or thing in our society.

"If I’m content then that means I won’t be able to do the things I want to do, I’ll lose my ‘edge’” …

or …

“If I chase the things I want to do then stress and a lack of contentment will be a necessary by-product …”

But what if … ?

(Again, always the what if!)

But what if both fed each other?

Because they do. Just because everyone lives like they don’t, it doesn’t make it true.

Contentment alone doesn’t make for an enjoyable life. Sure, sitting around on your bottom is great, especially when you’ve been working hard. In fact it makes it all the more enjoyable.

But as a 24/7-365 strategy? Not that exciting.

Drive makes a life exciting. Goals - done the right way - mean you feel alive. People are never happier when they feel like they’re improving and getting somewhere.

However, you need to be totally present and appreciative too with all this – otherwise you get stressed and overwhelmed and pressured and negative and live so far in the future you can’t see anything else. You get discontent when your focus stays on what you don’t have.

In getting anything, you also need to know when to rest, how to switch off the mind.

Furthermore, knowing how to attend to all the aspects of your life, not just one or two, is important – at least to me.

So many people solely focus on work and forget their health and relationships. Or focus on family alone, and not on what makes them alive.

You’ll see it taken to extremes in the (very cool) Netflix doc the Defiant Ones, about Jimmy Iovine and Dr Dre. It’s about these amazing, talented music guys who are genius. It’s not a big part of the documentary, but it’s clear in several bits that they are so focussed on their work they spend a big chunk of their lives tuning everything and everyone else completely out.

Reading Lance Armstrong’s books even before the details of his drugs scandal broke was the same.  It was obvious he would be a nightmare to try and have a relationship with, even just to be around, unless you bought solely into his super-focused and narrow vision of life.

I wonder if that sole dedication, focus and sacrifice is worth it?

Would you pay that price? To be a genius in one sphere of life but have everything else be neglected?

I’m not sure I would. But I’m happy with “good enough,” that idea that balance and good enough everywhere is way better than perfectionism in a small somewhere.

Anyhoo – I’m rambling now. What I’m trying to say is that you can have your cake and eat it too. Drive and contentment, focus and calm, peace and performance can all be yours.

You don’t need to make peace and performance and either/or situation, even if you choose to narrow your focus and be a world champion.

Okay?

Go well! Arjuna

PS. Do you know what Iggy Pop answered when Anthony Bourdain asked him what thrills him, after a life of adventure?

“Being loved and actually appreciating the people that are giving that to me”, replied Iggy. Awesome.

PPS.

I called my six-month programme of helping you transform your relationship with your mind and all aspects of your life “200%” because that’s what it gives you.

100% inner contentment, calm, happiness and focus leads to 100% of the rewards of life.

If you’re interested, drop me a line and I’ll let you know all the details.

How about a four day work week for you?

I see a business recently introduced a four day work week (for five day's pay) across the board for all their employees. Before the six-month trial, just over 50% said they were balancing work and life demands. During the 4 day work week it jumped up to 78%. Stress dropped, commitment and productivity increased.

It’s kinda obvious though, isn’t it?

Less time at work means you can do the things you want to do at home. Being paid to work five days when you work four means the financials are the same, you just have more space.

The question that came for me is, “Would you work less for less stress and way better work-life balance but also less money??”

Would you?

Would you quit that job in the city with the hour commute each way for a lesser paid job that meant when you got home you could actually see your kids rather than them be in bed, asleep?

Would you refuse to answer emails and work calls outside of business hours so you could fully and completely be with your family and loved ones in the evenings, as opposed to constantly being at work even when you’re at home?

What's your "Would you?" ... ?

The next question then is, when is it going to stop?

So many people I know talk about when, as in I’ll do something different “when and then” … when I pay off my debts then …, when I get that promotion then …, when I then I … humans in general live a life of when.

Tomorrow never comes does it? Your goal posts always shift. Which means “then” never happens. Sometimes you have to make when and then now … if you truly want it to happen.

I have no easy answers on this one, no simple follow your heart advice. I know what it’s like to have to work to get cash to pay the bills and then get back to work again because the bills aren’t stopping.

But I also know what it’s like to feel I have to work a job and/or conform to a particular working culture because there are no other options – when in reality, there are plenty of options, I’m just too scared to take them.

I also know contentment and space and peace and enjoyment and balance is worth more than any money.

Changing your life situations is sometimes necessary, but also changing your attitude is just the ticket.

Being present, not focusing on all the things you have to do and getting overwhelmed, is key. Stopping to smell the roses and appreciating all the things you do have instead of constantly chasing the next thing is also a huge part of it.

Working out what is truly important to you – to you – what you’re prepared to do and not do, is another chunk of it. Then you know when it’s time to say NO to one thing so you can say YES to everything else.

So often it appears as if there is no alternative. ut there always is. There always is. It’s just that it’s sometimes unknown – and that can be a little scary. Jumping in a taking a small step into the unknown is worth everything though. And you can always go back!

Go well! Arjuna

PS. I guess what I’m saying is examining your life, your attitudes, your ways of doing things is such a great idea. Taking time, regularly, to see if your life is happening the way you want it to is super valuable.

No one wants to be caught on a hamster wheel, but if you live unconsciously that certainly seems to happen, and quickly.

So stop – take stock. Talk about these things with your loved ones. It might be the most important change you make, and let me know how it goes for you.

PPS.

My six month coaching transformation programme “200% of life” is starting up.

If you want to transform your relationship with your mind and all aspects of your life, to have focus, fun and freedom (and never again bewildered, miserable and stuck) then this is for you.

Get in touch and I’ll give you more details!

Perfectionism, scared of “wrong,” mistakes and failure … advice from the top

If you’re at all interested in the goings on of a tiny nation at the bottom of the world called New Zealand, like I am, you will know that the Prime Minister gave birth recently. How she runs a country and looks after a baby I know not. My hat is well and truly doffed to her. She must have some kind of superpower that I don’t possess. And a husband that is well and truly “in” and helping out.

I read an interview with said husband, a bloke (don't worry – all men in NZ are “blokes”) whose face in pictures is something to behold as he hobnobs with world leaders. He’s like a kid who expects to be discovered at any moment and kicked out, crossed with sheer awe how he managed to gain entrance in the first place. Then there’s the one where he’s with the rest of the leaders’ significant others, a man in a sea of women. Wonderful.

He was talking about favourite pieces of parenting advice... now, mine is don’t listen to any advice (which, ironically, is superb advice), but second best came from this interview.

Apparently while hobnobbing with the Obamas, Barack told him his secret to parenting (and presumably running a country?) is to not panic, and it’s ok to make mistakes.

Isn’t that cool?

The fact is, and this coincides nicely with an article in the paper the other morning …

(https://www.theguardian.com/society/2018/jul/17/my-brain-feels-like-its-been-punched-the-intolerable-rise-of-perfectionism)

… that talks about the rise of perfectionism and the crushing pressure it puts an increasing number of people under.

To me? Perhaps it's more to it than this, I am no psychologist (I can barely spell the word), but perfectionism is just another aspect of being afraid of making mistakes, afraid of failure.

A healthy concern for not messing up is a good thing me thinks … But if you, like me, have experienced being terrified of making any decision in case it’s the “wrong” one, or falling on my face in front of an audience of people, you will realise how de-habilitating being scared of mistakes is.

You’d rather hide and do nothing than put yourself in the way of “wrong” or “failure.”

But that’s not a life is it? I’ve learnt you have to get comfortable with the fact that you will make mistakes. In doing anything, you will mess up.

Here’s where YOUR choice comes in:

You can have the attitude that a mistake is further evidence of the end of the world, of your failure and your uselessness … or you can use it as a platform to get better, to improve, to learn from.

One is a downward spiralling mess of an attitude, the other gives you peace now, and firm ground for the future.

How do you change your attitude? Just through practice and presence. Through being aware of your mind and how it will always throw up these perfectionisms and expectations and ideas and insistences and shoulds.

When you are aware of them you have choice, you can ignore them and do something different. But being aware of them is a most excellent thing. You may not like that, I understand that, but without awareness it’s like trying to play tennis against an invisible opponent … almost impossible.

Through awareness you get to see your opponent and learn their wiley ways. A great thing – I get this might not be a comfortable thing, especially if your habit is to try and hide in some aspects of your life.

Knowing your own mind and being able to direct it where you wish is the key to a peaceful and effective life. Closing your eyes and being able to develop freedom of choice is essential.

Meditation then is one of the most important things you can regularly do. You’re not dropping out, you’re actually tuning in to the fullest degree.

Go well! Arjuna

PS. My new baby, a six month mind transformation programme (which I don’t have a name for yet) is due to be launched in the near future.

To be honest, I’m still sorting out details.

But it involves working closely with me over a long period of time and discovering how to transcend the limitations and judgements of your mind.

I went with six months because alongside guidance from me, time spent at the “coal face” practicing awareness and choice is essential. I wish I could give you a magic pill, but I can’t (and even those have un-wanted side effects). I can guide you, but you have to do the simple, and enjoyable, “work.”

If you’re interested?

Just hit reply and I’ll let you know all the details as soon as possible.

Your ONLY hindrance in life

What ho! How’s things? Apologies for being missing in action recently. Sumati, Bubs and I went away for a week to an island off the west of Scotland called Arran. I thought I’d tee’ed up some emails to go out to you automatically, but looks like I didn’t. Sorry about that.

I tell you something – they have flies over there that bite so hard it hurts. My right arm is still sore and mega-itchy from a gang of flies that mugged me halfway up a mountain. But that’s the only thing that I have to complain about, what with all the sunshine, excellent food, amazing scenery and peoples.

One thing going on holiday does for me is gives me a sense of what’s important. Sure, I come back to an email inbox full to over-flowing, jobs to-do coming out me ears, but going away always gives me a sense of space. 

Opening the newspaper and it’s the same madness and chaos that I left. Same stuff, different date.  Same problems and challenges too. The thing that is so clear, and something I was talking about with a bunch of people in a video last night, is that the solution to all chaos, all struggle and problems, lies between your own ears.

Someone said that they feel that their mind is one of their biggest hindrances.

The fact is your mind is your ONLY hindrance. The game you play - the inner game - against negativity, limitation, judgement and whatever else is the only game in town. Master that, and you master all problems and stress.

Which is good news! Because you can’t always change the outside world. But you most certainly can learn to change your mind.

Alright? It all starts within. Peace or suffering? Within you. Change your mind, change your life. And good news indeed that is.

Go well, Arjuna

PS. I’m starting an endeavour, one that will not be for everyone - that’s for sure. It’s for the few select people who truly want to master their minds and transform their lives. It’s not a casual course by any means: the programme that we’ll go through is one-on-one and will last six months. It will involve you practicing meditation eyes closed and open every single day. It will be truly transformational.

If you’re interested? Send me an email (just hit reply) and we can talk more about it.

Be your own expert

I want to tell you about three lines of words that I hold in great esteem:

__________

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference. __________

You master those three things and life is sorted for you. Truly. I think serenity, acceptance, courage is pretty self-explanatory, so lets talk wisdom.

Wisdom is learning from your mistakes, and everyone makes mistakes. Mistakes aren’t the deal, it’s always what you do with them.

But the lesser known - and probably more powerful - source of wisdom comes the ability to tune into this moment in time and see what it needs. Seeing what it needs you do or don’t do, as the case maybe.

In helping others, for example, sometimes they need a fish, sometimes they need you to teach them how to fish.

Being present with expectations, prepared, if necessary, to jettison any plans means you can meet the need of this moment in time.

It also means you get to live the life you were born to live, and not the life you think you should live.

Do you see the difference?

You become a source of your own wisdom and guidance. You make take inspiration and guidance from outside sources, true, but you become the expert in your own life.

Instead of waiting for permission for example, you get down and get going on that thing.

Instead of finding out what the right thing is, you learn to know that for yourself.

It’s kind of the part of growing up that we’re not taught - instead often clinging to the apron of someone else’s opinion.

And I don’t mean that in an insulting way, not at all, but stepping up and stepping free means a lot for your life, it really does.

Become the expert of your own life, get super good at being present and wise. It is the best thing you can do for yourself, and everyone around you.

Promise! And what have you got to lose?

Go well, Arjuna

PS. Here’s how to make wisdom part of every single moment. A simple, idea packed free guide: https://mailchi.mp/60dbe4ffeccf/freedom-from-thinking-so-much

Wot! No beer?!

So the UK is having a heat wave.

This means figures in the twenties of Celsius degrees, so fairly mild by world standards. Nonetheless, the UK is not made for sun. It’s made for grey, sleet-y drizzle with the occasional mild sunny day. And before you jump on me with hate mail, boy is it a beauty when the sun shines. When.

So given that these isles are not used to the sun, or ready for it necessarily, it is tough when the heat starts to come in.

And with the news that the country's supplies of food grade carbon dioxide are running low have just made it worse.

You may shrug, however ... CO2 is what puts the fizz in soft drinks and … most importantly … beer.

Beer is being rationed, which is a little concerning. How your football fan can watch the World Cup with the threat of rationed beer hanging over them is anyone's guess. They must be made of sterner stuff than I.

I am sure the UK will survive, but it reminds me that it’s a little funny to me that I have an interest in beer at all.

I don’t drink a great deal - not at all - but something cold after a physical afternoon on the river, kayaking my little heart out, is just what the doctor ordered.

Yet when I was younger and less wise than I am now, I thought it wasn’t “good” to drink. That it just wasn’t a thing spiritual people did. That it somehow created mayhem with your chakras. And perhaps it does, perhaps it does, but I haven’t found that - not at all.

I really thought when I started looking for lasting peace, calm, positivity and focus that certain desires were wrong and to be banished from my person through maximum effort.

Imagine how delighted I was to find that this is not the case. That I could have my cake and eat it too.

That there is nothing wrong with anything, only judgement makes it so. And if anything, your spiritual practice "should" be about acceptance and allowing, not judgement.

Now -

Actions have consequences. Certain actions have very strong consequences. If you don’t want those consequences, you have to change your actions.

The easiest and fastest way to transforming your actions, perhaps addictions, isn’t so much suppression and judgement, starts in acceptance and allowance.

That can be the basis for rapid transformation:

_______

“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change” — Carl Rogers _______

Of course there is much more to it than that, but it’s a great start.

Go well - stay hydrated out there.

Arjuna

PS. To embrace every single part of your life, fully? To find acceptance and allowance? To get the fortitude to make changes?

Have a look at my free guide:

https://mailchi.mp/60dbe4ffeccf/freedom-from-thinking-so-much

PPS. My father in law is currently begging for rain for his garden. The first decent sun and he wants rain. What is that all about, huh?

Like this? Or like that?

How do you want to live your life? Dragging yourself out of bed, exhausted, knackered, crusty, dreading the day ahead of you? Anxious with concerns, frustrated and angered by work, by the commute, grouchy with your loved ones when you make it home?

Feeling like your head is so busy, there’s so many things to think about and you can’t get any sense of any of them?

Or …

Relaxed, quick to smile, quick to let it all go. Full of energy and creativity with a sense of play? Appreciative and able to take time to smell the roses and get both feet on the ground. Where you’re not swimming to stay afloat, nothing is too much, it’s all manageable, and it feels like you’re making progress … ?

Look - it just takes practice to live this way. Just practice.

Living like this is not a fluke. You can be this all the time, you don’t need to wait for a funk to clear, you can make it so that you don’t get in a funk in the first place.

Resilience, fluidity, flexibility … whatever you want to call it, it can be yours … all day long.

What it requires is you meditating. This is the practice that results in you being on top form. Spend some time every single day to close your eyes and learn to gain a different kind of awareness, the ability to let go and focus on this exact moment in time.

I know you’re busy, I get that, I really do. But finding the time to practice really depends on you, what you want from life, and how much you value living well.

Do you value living well?

And are you prepared to give yourself a little time to get that, to be the very best version of you?

Very important questions me thinks. Let me know if I can help with them.

Go well! Arjuna

PS. I have a free guide for you to help you get started with meditation. A very simple, very effective way. Head here to get a copy, as well as some other goodies:

https://mailchi.mp/60dbe4ffeccf/freedom-from-thinking-so-much

Now don’t just download it and sit on it … “I’ll get to that later” … do it!

And let me know how I can help.

Did you see that bizarre woman in the news?

Did you see that in the recent news a woman is claiming that drinking her dog’s urine keeps her beautiful (not for me thanks. How about you?), A teenager got her head stuck in a truck’s modified exhaust after seeing if it would fit (it did, perfectly),

nd a Spanish police dog has been trained to revive people using CPR (where can I get one?)

On what fun!

This world is a marvellous, mad, bizarre place, is it not?

I love it.

The world can be a super enjoyable place - if you remember to keep things in perspective, maintain a sense of humour and stay present and curious. And perhaps your distance from the more energetically bizarre folks out there.

But here’s a bizarre thing that people do and believe: Let me tell you about it - I know it because I did it for a long time.

In the search for a more fun, free, and focused life -

Where you don’t lose it so much, where you stay firmly “on the handle” (as in, not flying off it), of having a life that is free from suffering, overwhelm, negativity … in other words keeping cool and calm and content, enjoying everything so you can be effective in what you do …

People believe that fun is not part of that.

That serenity and acceptance and contentment and presence is somehow a serious thing.

I'm not sure how that ever happened, but allow me to put that one to bed, right now.

All the enlightened people that I have ever met have laughed their little (and large) butts off, all day long. Mirth, joy, chuckles, guffaws, all the ways down to an inner smile … the whole time.

If you want to make sure you enjoy your life more? Do not fall into the trap of believing that any of this is a serious thing.

Hold certain principles as sacred perhaps, but laugh at them nonetheless.

Laughter comes easy, really it does. Seriousness of any kind is actually quite difficult. You can certainly train yourself to be serious, but really, it’s not much fun is it?

A path to heaven need not go through hell. That is your choice, and your choice alone. Just because some people believe that you need to struggle to get to where you want to go, in this thing you do not. No sir and/or madam!

I promise you.

Do not do what I did, which was hedge my bets a little and be a touch serious just in case. It is not necessary, ever.

The best way you can repay anyone’s love and kindness? Have a sensationally enjoyable life. And the best revenge - if you want to focus on that sort of thing? (Which I don’t really recommend, but up to you…) Exactly the same. Enjoy yourself, to the maximum.

OK?

Go well! Arjuna

PS. I really am quite excited about my book, 200% - an Instruction Manual for Living Fully. I’ve been working on polishing it, and it gotten quite a shine. It’s with the proof-reader as we speak, then it will head to the designer, and then you can get your hands on it!

I know I’ve been telling you about it forever but it’s coming closer to being available, truly. I will let you know as soon as I do. Super cool.

“The mornings became mine again”

I wrote something recently about mobile phones, and how switching them off from time to time can make a world of difference to your life. Someone tried this in the morning, and was delighted. She said: “The mornings became mine again” – I think that is so great.

There’s two ways your mornings can go –

One is firing out the door, late again, yelling at the kids to get a move on, coffee in one hand, important whatevers in the other hand, holding the car keys in between your teeth, stress and anger already building.

Or you can take steps so that you enjoy your morning, walking out the door ready for whatever the day brings, calmly, content, with a smile on your lips and a song in your heart. With a sense of perspective, a sense of being centred and able to enjoy your morning endeavours.

Which one do you want?

“Win the morning, win the day” is a saying I’ve heard being bandied about, and it’s true. You start the way you intend to continue, rather than trying to get your mojo back on the hoof, which is a lot harder.

In getting an enjoyable, as well as effective, kind of day a little planning and preparation goes a long way:

Turning your phone off could be something you do just to give yourself time and space before the world rushes in. Closing your eyes to meditate, to breathe, to really centre yourself … a brilliant idea. Taking some time to journal, to plan, to remind yourself of what is important (not urgent - big difference) … very good too.

Imagine that … a great start to your day rather than a frazzled, stressed one. And depending on your family set up, perhaps it means just waking a little bit earlier to make sure you can give yourself some time.

Now that may mean you can't stay awake to the early hours watching Netflix. Boring? Yet a small sacrifice means a huge payoff the next day. Everything is so much more enjoyable, and manageable.

How about it? Something for you to consider.

Go well! Arjuna

PS. How to switch off and be present? Here's a free guide for you: https://mailchi.mp/60dbe4ffeccf/freedom-from-thinking-so-much

How to be free from suffering and live the meaning of life

Wanna be free? Never have a problem ever again? Free of all suffering and stress and anxiety? Love every single moment of your life?

Grab a cup, but gird yourself because it’s a bold idea and you might dislike some of it.

Here’s how:

There are zero problems here, now, in this moment. Honestly. All your suffering vanishes – all of it – when you fully immerse yourself in the presence of Now.

This is a huge idea – and as I said, your mind may hate it – but it doesn’t make it un-true.

Let’s investigate: Assume this moment is the only moment there is. Get super present, be aware of now. Be innocent and fresh. Drop all expectations, insistences, resistances and just meet this moment face to face, as it is. Truly tune in, give your whole being to this moment in time.

What else does your experience of now need?

Nothing. It is full, rich, complete. Now requires nothing, there is nothing wrong … when you are fully here.

Your mind may still rebel.

It may try to negate your experience of now, saying “yes, but …”, as in “yes, but … yesterday I was so full of fear/anger/sadness,” or “yes, but … my daughter is very sick in hospital right now and I’m so anxious about her,” or “yes, but … tomorrow I have to have a really tough conversation with my boss and I’m worried about it.”

One of the mind’s greatest tricks is convincing you that the causes of fear and worry and suffering are present, they are very real now. However, your mind is anywhere but here. It is constantly trying to drag you off into some other place and time, and suffering only becomes real when you follow it.

Suffering – overload, overwhelm, reacting blindly – doesn’t happen when you’re fully present. Your mind will tell you that you’re irresponsible and uncaring if you let go of the events and the challenges of all other places and times to experience the one place your life is, the one place you can do anything about – here and now.

Don’t let your mind convince you.

How useful is it when you are worried or stressed about something you can do nothing about? How caring is it when you’re so consumed in a past or upcoming event you can’t be present with the people in front of you? How useful is suffering to you, or indeed anyone else?

It’s not.

A skilful, joyful, compassionate, meaningful and suffering-free life is being able to let go of all other places and moments so you can give yourself fully to what is happening right in front of you. Here is where life is!

Again, don’t get me wrong – in being present I’m not saying ignore your challenges and what you have to do, not at all.

I’m saying truly see what problems are actually here, now, right in front of you. See how  your mind wants to removes you from this moment to re-hash a situation that isn’t here. See all this mind stuff and ignore it, instead take a half-step back and be present; be fully alive.

Questions? Let me know!

Arjuna

PS. For the tools and techniques that make being present a doddle?

Here's 108 FREE ways to remember:

https://mailchi.mp/60dbe4ffeccf/freedom-from-thinking-so-much

Lost your mojo? Here’s how to get mojo invulnerablity

So often people say, “I’m stressed” or “I’m anxious” or “I can’t sleep because I’m thinking too much” … Do you ever get like that?

The reason you’ve lost your mojo… and it’s temporarily for sure, always temporary, you will come out the other side given time…

But the reason you’ve lost your mojo is that you’ve listened to your head tell you all about a problem and you’ve gotten stuck into all the “why’s?”, “what if’s?”, and “then what’s?” … 

You've given far too much attention to what you need to do and what could go wrong, and it's crushing you.

How to stop thinking incessantly, and get your mojo back when YOU want to, and not just rely on “time”?  The solution is to be present.

Always. The solution is to show up to now. Fully and completely. 

Now, being present is simple. It’s so simple, it’s hard to describe. Be here, in the same place as your body, tuned into your senses not your thoughts and emotions.

OK? Are you doing it, now? Excellent.

How to be morepresent?

Well, you can only be present now. You can have the intention to stay out of a distressing past or future, but you can only be present it NOW.

OK? That’s important. Because you will forget.

That’s not me being a downer and getting all negative on you, it’s a fact. Chances are very likely you will forget.

No deal. Honestly, no deal – this is a practice of remembering. When you remember, there you are! Awake and present. Alive again.

You will forget, you will remember again. Just make the most of the times you remember, ok?

Keep it that simple and you’re home and hosed. Practice as much as you can remember.You’ll develop that kind of bullet proof-ness to those thoughts. You’ll be able to keep them at bay, to drop them when you want to.

Getting great at being present means you can be free from the negativity and overwhelm of your own mind and be cool and calm all day long with a big phat smile on your face.

Alrighty?

Go well! Arjuna

PS. Are you here, now?

PPS. Good stuff.

PPPS. Tools and techniques to make you present, for more of the day?

Here's a fine list for free, simple to read, easy to do, fun too - https://mailchi.mp/60dbe4ffeccf/freedom-from-thinking-so-much

What I learnt from being like Simon Cowell

Simon Cowell - he, the “nasty” judge of the X-Factor TV talent show - is doing the complete opposite of my idea of what an entertainment busy bigwig does: He’s given up his mobile phone for the last 10 months, and all to try and do something to benefit his mental health.

Cool huh? Also cool that he’s so public with the fact that he suffers from stress and negativity and overwhelm, just like everyone else.

I did the same thing and gave up my phone - for 10 days.

It was while I was away on retreat in Patmos. I locked my phone in the hotel safe, and only brought it out for 15 minutes a day.

So basically I cheated, a little. 

But I tell you, I learnt a lot. I could have better interactions with people, was more mindful and best of all - felt like a weight was lifted from my shoulders, one that I didn't know was there.

It was spectacular to have huge chunks of my day where I just didn’t concern myself with anything to do with the world of the internet.

I found that large amounts of my “essential” must check this, “must find out that” flicking was a complete waste of time, and a weight on my shoulders.

The other thing - 

I think I'm already pretty good at not using my phone when there are other people in the room. I think conversation and connection is an art and if you don’t practice it, you end up unable to.

Jumping on the phone when there are other people around - people that I want to have a great relationship with - just means they get ignored and the relationship suffers. It does. And the crazy thing is you don’t really realise it.

Without my phone being around I saw that even more so, and I was given the ability to truly be with someone and to connect with them. That's really important to me.

But most importantly I found on my phone I wasn’t so mindful. It’s hard to be present. And that is the most crucial thing to me - staying alive to the presence of Now.

This is the one moment I’m alive and losing it to trivia is not how I want to live. Wasting time on click bait and rubbish and gossip is not how I want to fill my days.

Don’t get me wrong - entertaining trivia is wonderful in small doses. I love that. But I realised I was getting to a point where trivia was taking over.

“Just 5 minutes” was turning into half an hour … you know? Staying on my phone for too long and I started drifting, drifting into unconscious dream land.

So … for your consideration.

Mobile phones are amazing. It’s just I would say, from personal experience, be careful you don’t fall into being a slave to them. You don’t want that.

Go well! Arjuna

PS. Meditation and mindfulness should be a very simple set of tools and techniques that align you with the Presence of Now - no matter where you are and what you are doing - making you come Alive to life and be able to drop negativity and overwhelm, any time you wish.

If you want to know how, I have a whole list of things that will help:

https://mailchi.mp/60dbe4ffeccf/freedom-from-thinking-so-much